I've had no words to share

I know a post has been a long time coming.
I know I swear every year I will do better about posting.
I know many have high expectations of wonderful stories of grandeur and amazing-ness.
I know....I know...I know

It's been a very hard 6 months. I won't go into detail with whining ranting, but trust that I will survive like I always do. The past year, overall has been good. I've met some amazing people and learned many things. Sadly, I've had nothing to really report. I'm still in Bangkok. I still stand behind my decision to leave China. It's been almost 2 years here and I'm not really sure what direction I'm going in. Studying Thai has been, maybe the most, challenging thing I've faced in awhile and its making me depressed. I want to be social but I think as I am getting older, I do not want to meet new people.

I recently had an incident where I got to know someone and thought that it might be a potential long term friendship (someone I could trust and platonic at the very least) but I was sadly mistaken. I'm a very good judge of character. I pride myself and my survival on being able to read people. I got this one wrong. I feel this misstep has made me take a step back and reset (per usual. I'm always resetting haha) and perhaps see I might need to approach things and people differently going forward.

I'm trying to set small reasonable goals of late. I recently feel like I need to have some little achievements (1 minute mile, challenging yoga poses, visiting more cities in Thailand, etc, etc) to feel like I have some value. I feel tired of everything and most humans. So getting back to nature has become a thing I'm trying to do. Bike riding, hiking, and whatever other tree hugging activities I can find. I was thinking I'm was homesick, then I watch the news, see my facebook feed and realize that my mental health, maybe even my life, would be in jeopardy if I went home right now. I do miss you all there terribly and wish you all would leave and come join me. hahahahaha. I know silly, but I'm half joking....(100% serious actually)

Anyway....

I'm not traveling outside Thailand much and trying to read more. I've found myself into more self help andpoetry. I'm really into this book now HER. I'm really looking forward to reading Sam's book also. (sorry for the shameless plug, but I am really excited to read it!!!!)

Well that just about does it. I'm slowly trying to restore my faith in humans one day at a time.

Love,

Anne with an "e"

Safeway feet has a name

I see her very often playing around with other kids in the area. I started unconsciously noticing her, perhaps waiting to be called upon again. I found out her name is Poon from the kids calling out to her. I believe that's her nickname or shorten version of probably what is the longest name in the world. I'm finding Thai people have incredibly long full names. I know you're thinking because my Thai language studying is not up to par but google any Thai politician or superstar....All of their names are a mile long #facts. (Common nicknames Poon, Porn, Chai, Kai, Put, Oat....)

Anyhow, I think Safeway feet  Poon is the leader of a gang. Although she is less than 4 ft tall, 4 or 5 years old she runs the yard like its a prison. For example, there's a motorbike stand where bikes line up in front of the complex to pick up residents (like me) that don't want to walk to the subway and be a pile of sweat when we get there. As the bikes roll in from the subway dropping off residents that hitched a ride from the subway to the complex, it is Poon's self assigned job, I'm guessing, to press the horn or every motorbike that comes in. The drivers let her ring the horn, she giggles, they giggle and drive off. If that doesn't convince you of her power, let me tell you about what happened last week. One evening a motorbike driver I'd never rode before tried to over charge me (rarely happens but it does). Poon stepped in and he didn't know that she was the official horn presser. While he is trying to squeeze more money out of me and not letting her press the horn, she walks over to the motorbike stand and gets an English speaking driver. She calmly explains in Thai I only know because of the tone of her voice and the few Thai words I know) that  A) it is 10 baht
(28 cents) from Big C (the grocery store) and he wants 30 baht (85 cents) from me and most importantly B) he didn't let her press the horn. hahahhaha.
I cannot tell you how hard it was to keep a straight face when she pointed to the horn, with a force that should have moved the bike. I have seen her for weeks press countless horns and to think this dude had the gall to try and over charge me AND not let her press the horn....the nerve. (yes, I'm well aware of the 62 cents I should not have cared about...but justice for the horn needed to happen)

So the driver Poon brought over asked me in English if that happened and since he sees me everyday he knows my routine so was sure I was being overcharged. He told the guy something in Thai and held Poon's hand. He gave the guy 10baht and he angrily rode away. I realized why he held Poon's hand, because she looked liked she was about to take on that guy the instant he left. I tried to give him the 10 baht and he said don't worry about. I asked him to give it to Poon and tell her that's for her hard work and coming to help me. She just looked at me annoyed, accepted the money, kindly Wai'd me, I Wai'd back and she ran off to take on some other criminals I guess.

He laughed and said "she is very strong little one". I could not agree more.

Being saved by kids all the time.

Anne with an "e" in Bangkok

My real life Thai Insurance commercial moment

I'm not sure if you all are familiar with those long Thai insurance commercials that tug at your heartstrings and make you cry. Watch it, be prepared, you've been warned. Anyway, I totally had a moment in Bangkok recently that reminded me of those commercials.

My apartment is near an open vegetable market that opens before Jesus wakes up (at the crack of dawn) until just minutes before 9:23 am (I'm guessing because they have somehow miraculously cleared out by the time I'm there at 9:25 am) My landlady showed me this market once and I try very hard to go there, but you know that getting up early thing.Not my cup of tea. Still not a fan turns out of early early mornings. One of my elderly neighbors has seen me at the market and decided she'd show me the ways of politely haggling in Thai. I am so grateful for this because now when I show up they're like "oh you're that Farang (foreigner) with Khun (Ms) "I cannot pronounce her name". They give me her local "discount". I'm not sure how this works, but I neither question it nor complain. My lovely neighbor even once showed me a shortcut to get to the market through our complex, which saved about 10 mins and having to pass a smelly bridge area.

I missed going to the open market for something like 2 or 3 weeks (during that "cold winter snap" 70 degrees in Bangkok) because I wasn't feeling well. I wasn't seeing my neighbor very often also. I opened my door one morning and bananas where tied to my front door. I was so happy because I really wanted some fruit but I missed going to the market and I didn't have time or energy to go to the grocery store. It happened 2 more times when I caught her one morning putting the fruit on my door. She smiled and probably said something like take better care in Thai, because I'm still not excelling at speaking Thai as much as I would like. #seriouslifegoal.
I thanked and Wai'd her. I said, in Thai, I was doing very very good. She pat me on my arm and walked down the stairs. I don't know exactly which apartment she lives in, but I always see her around.
I was told later that she asked the coffee shop girls (young girls that help/force me to practice Thai with them) if they had seen me, because of course I'm always at the coffee shop that I can throw a rock from my place and hit it....I have a problem, I know. She also asked the market vendors I go to if they had seen me and what my favorite fruit was. My landlady said she had asked her if I was ok and the landlady told her I just had a little cold because of the weather. My landlady is the greatest and helps all the time also.

So it was very heartwarming to know, be reminded, that if were to go missing that someone would miss me. I seem to have guardian angels everywhere I go. #myownthaicommerial

Anne with an "e" in Bangkok

So this Thai Wedding I attended...So informative

While I was watching (damn YouTube) how to break free of duck tape, because I think its necessary to be prepared in all situations (i.e. kidnapped, trapped, etc, etc) from some former CIA spy dude...I realized I had not posted the pics from Josh and Phacha's wedding. It was a real experience. I took notes and everything.

So for starters, its longer than a Catholic wedding and shorter than an India wedding...just to give you some perspective. There's a walking procession for all with the grooms posse. Many of Josh's group was made up of foreigners with no clue about Thai weddings or the order of things so we were all winging it (some, me, resorted to googlizing what the hell we were suppose to do. while others simply and haphazardly followed) There was some chanting and carrying of "gifts" and "offerings".

Josh, the groom, had to pass various challenges to prove his love for his bride, Phacha. It was pretty cool and Survivor-like (not really but there was push-ups, chicken dance, singing, and a few other interesting tidbits). Following the challenges was an interesting gathering with everyone surrounding watching the blessing of EVERYTHING (gifts, jewelry, food, money,weather, family, friends, etc, etc). There was a speech, a prayer, a sprinkle of something flower or seed like, a passing on and repeat. It looked a little like a talk show with the oldest lady (Oprah role) doing the "giving away speech" in some ancient Thai dialect that 90% of the Thais could not understand nor translate for the us, the Farang (foreigners). So a monk, i believe, fellow....so lets call him the MC (Dr. Phil with a microphone) gave everyone in the wedding party directions and encouraged (hyped) the process along. This was very useful for Josh and ALL of us because we needed some direction. After the the blessing and praying and the constant chanting from Dr. Phil "one million baht", "one million baht"....the couple moved to a pair of alters and we lined up and took pictures and poured water, tied strings, gathered rope, blessing the couple. It felt a little like a marathon, but more interesting hahaha.

The reception was held soon afterward. With so much good food and lots of glorious story telling of the couples many first. I was so happy I was able to be apart of this experience. I love seeing the wardrobe changes by Phacha and Josh's confused/relaxed/confused/exhausted face going through his wedding day. I'm so grateful for this because now I know what to do for my next Thai wedding.

Please enjoy the pictures and video...sorry they're all over the place.

 

The procession 

 

The chicken dance

Oprah on the mic

MC on the mic

 

Clearly happy!

So traditional Thai dancing

No crazy, no drama...

My first question is why no one told me how ridiculous those dots looked on my blog...never mind.

I find it funny people insist on new years resolutions and "starting over" on the first of the year. You know you can pick any day to start anew. Matter of fact, I pick a new start or reset date on average 3 to 6 months in a year. hahahaha.

I'm not going to do the oversimplified reflecting or in "in hindsight" dialog that's popular during the beginning of the year. My basic motto as always "do better than yesterday". Everything else is just extra.

My complex is near a river. Near the river is a very small area of shops and run down homes. This is where a handful of unfortunate Thais live that cannot afford condos or homes in the increasing cost of development happening around the city.They sell ice cream, coconuts, chicken and anything to make a buck.

A few weeks ago, I was walking home one night and a tiny little girl walks up to me. There are kids playing about the river or along the sidewalk so it wasn't so strange. She was 4 or 5 maybe bare feet (Safeway feet) and really cute. She was clearly trying to instruct me to do something, but due to my level of Thai now (learning to write the alphabet) I was lost as to what Safeway feet wanted. I figured it wasn't too urgent as she was pulling my dress for me to walk forward slowly. Safeway feet continues to talk about her day, I think, and I continue walking home. We walk a few feet and I hear a lot of dogs barking. There are strays all around and people take them in, but I've never heard this many before. Safeway feet, annoyed, pauses and points in the direction of the barking, like to say "see I was trying to tell you, lots of damn dogs". I start looking around for any adult like human that might know this little girl and it felt like an episode from the Twilight Zone where EVERYONE has disappeared off the planet. Then Safeway feet pulls my dress as to signal me to "get your shit together and lets go". I say to her, "Look, I'm a little afraid too now". My English is lost on her so we continue walking and as the barking got closer and louder she grabs my dress tighter and I sort of pick up the pace.  We reached a gate where maybe 10 dogs were barking like crazy and looking to chew through the metal fence. We hurried passed it.  We get to an opening, a makeshift shanty town alley way, and Safeway feet smiles at me like "ok, this is my stop". She gives me a pleasant thank you and Wai (bow in respect with hands in a prayer position), says bye and runs off.

This little incident reminded me that we are not alone its ok to ask for help whenever we're afraid.

Happy New Year everyone!

Damn learning curves....

So I went to Laos (please see picture above if you do not know where that is in reference to Thailand) I didn't take lots of pictures, because I rarely do. The Thai school (studying Thai) that's taking care of my visa sent me on what I thought would be a simple exit, apply, stamp, return mission. Turns out it was everything and then some...

It started in the parking lot of a large grocery store. About 30 people needed to cross the border for varying reasons (visa run, extending visa, visiting family, going on job interview, etc etc). I was told I would be put in a group van 637. From the outside it looked like a nice, new, normal 9 seated passenger van, but when you stepped in it looked liked something out of Vegas sideshow. Mirrors and eccentric gold and diamond-esque interior. I felt a stripper pole would surface at some point. This should've been a sign. I started meeting the misfits I would soon be connected with for the next 3 days. It was brought to my attention that this was a regular event for some (visas are complicated EVERYWHERE) so many knew each or had similar experiences with some of the same riders. I learned that there's a Black guy that loves to play guitar on the trip, there's the hippies that prove the ehh umm smoking "goods", there the cool guys that have been doing these too long and will probably get kicked out of Thailand soon (sources told me). 

My van consisted of 4 models from all over eastern Europe, a Romanian James Bond, a French chef, a quiet family guy face timing his daughter most of the time, a conspiracy theorist American that was convinced the earth is flat and U.S. didn't launch anything in space, and a few other low key characters that were basically the audience for the show on wheels. Then there was me. It was my first time going on one of these adventure VIP van rides. The head agent in charge of assigning the groups, felt it necessary to tell everyone on van 637 I was new. I must admit these guys looked like the practical joker types that perhaps some hazing would go down. Instead, they all smiled and started regaling me with all the tales of their first time experiences as if they are war veterans sharing stories. I was assured that it would be fun and or very interesting by the end of the trip. They were very much right about it being interesting, for sure.

The first few hours of the 8.5 hours were filled with the conspiracy theorist giving us a run down of how the earth is most definitely flat and that he could prove it based on things he's found on the internets. I was a little taken back because NO ONE was challenging him or questioning his thought process. We make our first pit stop and break and he is still talking. At this point I've made eye contact with a few people and one of them whispers to me "oh we know he's crazy, but he seems to want to talk. so we just let him". I'm thinking, "oh thanks for letting me in one the charade guys". Mr. Talkative falls asleep and people start talking about their lives and how they all ended up in Thailand. Leave it to a road trip to find bonds with strangers. Its early morning before we get to the Lao/Thailand border which we have to cross on foot. So many vans and touring groups all parked at the border. I got this refugee feeling (or what I can only imagine its like) watching people gather at the gate (we could not drive our van across the boarder because it was Thai registered vehicle). Our driver was very protective of us. I forgot to wear my badge and he kept reminding me.."you don't have this you will get kidnapped". Silly scare tactics I guess he uses to get people to listen...it worked. Gates open and we all rush to line up at the departure counter to line up and wait. It takes over an hour. Once I was through, I need to board a much larger bus that transports any and all people leaving Thailand to the entry point to Laos. We waited over an hour for our passports to get Laos visas. I later found out that our agency did not "grease the wheels" (pay a bribe) so we had to queue in line. We were all tired and delusional at this point and I was receiving constant reassures that "you will get my passport back". Call me paranoid, whatever. The agency then loaded people on vans, now in Laos to go to the Thai embassy to apply for whichever visa you needed. Once at the Thai embassy we all agreed to pay the bribe to bypass the line (we were all over the process at this point) for dropping off our passports so we could all just go to the hotel. Our driver, in different shiny Laos van, was ready and beckoning our, now very tight knit, group to take us to the hotel. 

There was food, a pool, a bar, and individual rooms for each of us. I showered and slept. I woke up 4 hours later sat by the pool and waited for dinner. By this time the driver came to me to return my wallet because I left it in the Thai van. He thought I was going to lose it again so he waited to give it to me. I've never felt so absent minded. I completely agreed with his decisions. Laos looked like Miami 40 years ago or pictures you see of Cuba today. I went out with a few from our group to what the "nightlife" in Laos was about...No much unfortunately. We did more talking and I realized that I would have never met any of these people in any other circumstance other than this point in time. The French chef and a Romanian  guy (I am convinced was a spy or something undercover) seem to be the real caretakers of the group. Really helpful to me, anyway. If I wasn't moving fast enough at any point they took my bags and they wanted to know where I was from the first stop. When they said they would lookout, they were serious.The following day we all lounged around the hotel desperately looking for wifi, swimming, grazing the nonstop buffet that seemed to be available the second we walked in . The food was decent too. Later afternoon, we checkout and everyone gathered to do shopping in the duty free zone while we waited for the agency to collect our passports. My bodyguards seemed concerned that I wasn't shopping and I told them I don't need anything. 007 bought me a Lao popular sub sandwich that had noodles and chicken and tofu. It was so good. French chef bought me flowers. Weird scary looking lotus flowers. I awkwardly accepted and thought "what the hell am I suppose to do with these?" It didn't occur to me until later that we had talked about cooking and spices the day before and  that he was sharing a local cooking flavor by giving me lotus. I just thought he was a weird French dude. C'est la vie. hahaha

We get our passports and now have to do everything in reverse with border crossing and immigration stamping. Going back was a lot more entertaining. While in line, this time, I was pulled aside 2 times by the immigration agents asking to see my passport. They just glanced at it and without opening it to look, motioned for me to return to the line. By the time the 3 agent came around to ask to see my passport, I sensed something was wrong. I must has looked so confused and lost because the Filipino behind me and the Chinese lady in front of me, both turned a said "they think you're African". They then explained to me they are stricter with all Africans passport holders because they have extra visa requirements. Filipino guy said "she don't even look African". Chinese lady says "she doesn't look American either". I say to both of them "I can hear you". Just as I say this another agent (why do they have so many different agents at this tiny border....God only knows) comes over. I'm about to go through the "routine" of passport showing when the Filipino guys says that I'm American in English and the Chinese lady says in Thai that I'm American also. The agent quickly walks away. I tell them thank you, and tell them its ok that I show them my passport. Its not a problem. Chinese lady said "they need to share the information with their colleagues. attention attention only black lady standing in line is American. easy". I told her "I see your point". I was the only Black person there and its not like there was a shift change...I finally made it through and was stamped officially back in Thailand.

The ride back seemed to take longer. We stopped more time to stretch our legs and give smoke breaks to the smokers but it was pleasant. It felt like a quirky family after only a day. Some of us exchanged contact info. Chef invited everyone to his restaurant and I felt a little sad it was over. I got home at 2 am. The driver dropped everyone off at their homes, which was the icing on this weird cake for me. I was so tired. Now back to the grind of desperately trying to learn Thai.

That's that!

You know, just life lessons

So  you have to enjoy how life is always "teaching" you lessons especially when it seems to be the same lesson time and time again. I get it life. This time I get it. It doesn't matter how smart, talented, interesting, open minded, creative, blah blah blah you are. Trusting people to do what they say they can do is always a crap shoot. 

This time around isn't as shocking or even earth shattering. I had a gut feeling, but I ignored it to focus on the fact that there were robots and an interesting concept to be apart of.  I mean really, wouldn't anyone do the same...robots people...ROBOTS.

So I signed up (roughly speaking because no contracts were signed) with a startup that has this great idea for having robots as language buddies. I was basically hired for my experience teaching kids and being awesome (mostly in my head), but ultimately my perspective.They obviously had not one clue about the education industry because this group of guys were in the IT industry that basically worked with refurbished servers and re-purposing many companies old network systems. This threw me off a bit, because I was under the assumption they were innovative, forward thinking, and planners. My bad. I realized immediately how unfocused and self destructive they could be especially when they said "visas are so easy", "we're doing something thats never been done before in SEA (southeast asia)", "this will go big and we will be a publicly traded company", [insert grandiose statement here]. Even with all this silly speak I called visionary bullshit. Whatever it was robots. I got to play with a robot everyday. 

My role changed immediately when they realized my other strengths

(I am willing to attempt anything and like a challenge) and I started designing a curriculum for "in class use with the robot". I was working on an interactive kids book that would go along with the robot. We just started doing focus groups, which I setup, organized and magically constructed with the help of the group. Yes the scope of my position changed vastly and became dynamic. It was challenging because I wanted to believe.

I still had my hesitation from jump street. I would get into arguments with the head guy that was more focused on having brand marketing, and the robot making loud noises (he thinks kids are idiots and that loud ass sounds will appease them and convince parents to drop 10k USD to purchase) instead of focusing on trying to get the robot developed to be functional.

Meanwhile, I'm traveling to Singapore and KL and the other offices to work with programmers and animators to try implementing the new designed curriculum. Why was I traveling so much you ask? Because they could not bring the robots into Thailand without having to pay a phenomenal fee to customs. This posed a new level of drama when we needed to repair robots. Sending and receiving them from the Paris company where they are maintained and having customs hold for a few weeks...not sure how that fit into their business plan. I voiced my concerns with this on top of marketing tactics and was marked as being negative and not contributing solutions. Which is true, I do not know how to save a sinking ship. So I continued to just rearrange the deck chairs on the Titanic (thank you Ebert for giving me an expression that perfectly fits this situation)

I was going to give them until November to come up with some solutions for all of the grievances I had. It wasn't just me, all the foreigners thought the same thing, especially when it came to visas. 

Fast forward to last week, I found out they could not do visas, they did not have the robot company registered, they had gone through 3 shady "lawyers", "agents", "somebodies cousin" to do the paperwork for the foreigners. Cutting corners basically. I was very upset by this and in a group message (yes unprofessionally and absolutely disrespectful) told them "they needed to get their heads out of their asses and start being more open about this lack of process." No I was not thinking of winning any popularity contest and no one disagreed.

Not to my surprise I go into the office Monday. I apologize to the the "manager type" guy that was only hired because he's white and that's how you sell stuff here. I said I was sorry for being so venomous in the message, but he has to understand our frustrations. He replies with a "you cannot disrespect us like that", which I totally get. I know I was wrong. I try calling the head guy and his wife to apologize. They have conveniently stop taking calls, messages, and not replying to emails prior to the message. I knew right away what was coming.

4 hours into the work day (I was deleting files and moving things to my flash drive. I cleaned my work laptop completely and left very basic things I did on the server) manager type guy tells me and an animator that this isn't about messages or anything other then the visas and that they will have to let us go, because they cannot do your visas. I said "oh, ok", the animator did not take it so well. I thought he was going to start swinging and breaking robots. Dude is all muscle. He immediately went to our other Bangkok office where the head guy (that had been avoiding my calls/emails/messages all weekend) to try and talk to him. I changed my flight dates, printed out my boarding pass and found a hotel and started using the office printer to print out information on visas and jobs. I needed to exit and I still had stuff in the KL (Kuala Lumpur) office which me and the animator where suppose to flight out to go to this Tuesday. 

There is a robot show coming up that they now realize they are not ready for. They let us keep the flight ticket and we could use it however we wanted. I thought "they really think they're doing us a favor, hilarious".  Before I left the office Monday, they asked if I could do freelance work for them HAHAHHAHA. Ballsy people. I smiled and said "of course". If I choose to actually help them I will charge them ASTRONOMICAL fees for my assistance.

I had an interesting talk with the animator about what he had discussed with the head guy on our flight to KL. Apparently the head guy is just as big of a coward as I thought. He apparently thought we didn't appreciate all of the money he's spent on us and his shady efforts and compartmentalizing methods of information. He especially didn't like my message, the one about them suggesting they remove their heads out of their asses. The Thai staff apparently had a problem with the animator that none of us realized and thats why they needed to let him go... figured it was BS reasons. I was over it all 2 weeks ago. They just pulled the trigger before I did, which is a little annoying. 

So that's that. Sorry this was so long, but I've been to busy to do a play by play of the #robotlife that was happening. I wanted to genuinely give this a chance. I can say I tried with no regrets.

On to the next thing now.

Sending positive vibes everywhere!

Signed Uncompromising Anne with an e

Learning as I go...per usual

I'm passed my 100 day mark here in Bangkok.  Much like POTUS ('cause in my head I am just as important. Don't hate. Hahaha joking...not really)

I should have some things to show for 103 days, right?

Unfortunately, not much to report. Really basic things are happening. I'm trying to get settled into my new apartment, trying to figure out this #robotlife, learn thai (I know only know 10 words at this point SMH), figure out a budget and yes still publish a damn book (I know I'm getting sick of hear ABOUT it too)....

My apartment is nice and cozy, strategically located between my work, #robotlayer, and the hot spots that have a good mix of hip, chill, and cheap deliciously unreal food/entertainment/grocery and street boutique shopping.

My work is ridiculous. Its hard to explain because it is so ridiculous.  With this startup company, I basically play with robots that speak over 25 languages and try to figure out ways for kids to possibly learn/play/use it for school and at home. My team and I are currently preparing for a robot conference in Singapore . Which is why I sadly cannot make it back to the States this year. I finally got an opportunity in Bangkok thats interesting and I had to make a very big sacrifice to keep the job.

Much like it was in China, people just want to speak English to me or assist me by being my personal translator. This is amazing and kind, but problematic. I cannot learn Thai this way. Minor problem, I will get it. I just need to get to it!

Last but not least, I got my 16th and 17th rejection from 2 publishers for my books...Its all part of the process, I just keep going forward.

I found a yoga studio and boxing club near my place so I think I'm pretty set. Thailand is treating very well. I've me some very interesting people and am STILL learning about myself.

Other than a 1st degree burn on my leg because I don't know the proper way to disembark from a motorcycle while riding side saddle (I'm a lady now)...its all good.

I believe thats all for now.

Anne with an "e" over and out.

"I exist as I am, that is enough"
~whitman

So yeah...Anne is not in China

I thought long and hard about whether to keep posting here for the following reasons, because I'm...

A. not in China
B. one of millions of people of color traveling
C. have no fascinating stories to share.
D. Only my haphazard lifestyle of "what not to do" or "how it probably shouldn't be done" methods.

I finally decided that I should post that I'm alive and doing ok. I'm in the land of thank yous and consideration and lots of manners. I am not missing Shanghai...at all.
That's all I have to say about that.

I have had the fortune, luck, blessing, or whatever you want to call it to be able to transition from every place I've lived to the next with the patience and understanding of the people I know (I cannot thank you all enough for putting up with me, sharing your friends and lives with me)
Not sure if many of you all remembered my German friend in Shanghai, Erik (I helped him use his amenities in his luxury condo (i.e. large kitchen with an oven, jacuzzi bathtub...etc etc) while helping him when he had back surgery (because I'm a true friend). So this guy, was reassigned to Bangkok 18 months ago and I am lucky enough that he's offered his place for me until I get myself together...job and place of my own (trust, it will happen soon). So no need to worry about me #roughingit . I initially came thinking it would take a week or two to get situated. Turns out no. #realtalk

So you ask, now what? As usual, I'm playing it by ear. I've gotten some corporate training position offers in Bangkok (#fingerscrossed this week) and other rural cities (no thank you). I could bum around the beaches in the south and teach locals English for little pay but very rewarding laid back life. I'm looking at my options still.

23 days in and I'm still ultimately trying to figure Bangkok out.

You'll know when I know.

Anne with an "e" out and counting her blessings!!!

Pictured Erik shopping for teak wood...dude is obsessed with #teak

There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.” 
―Beverly Sills

new home maybe...Thailand

So, this is probably my 6th or 7th trip to Thailand. It was by far the most unique visit by far. First, going with a local to more places is exponentially different (of course). Secondly, when that local is crazy and awesome and is looking for a break from her Australian architectural studies...it adds another layer. Also, when than same local Thai girl threatens to make you go around with a selfie stick (hate those things) if I wouldn't comply with her picture taking demands...well that's a game changer. So that was the main motivator behind the heavy photo sessions.

I realized, because we had 1000s of pics from the trip, that I looked really happy. I know and felt it was great but I somehow forget how much I really like Thailand. I don't think I needed pictures to believe this, but I've been in a real rut/stalemate lately. Losing time/money/energy on my Taiwan plans has made me really want to leave all thing Chinese. At the same time I don't want to leave here bitter. I'm doing well with work in Shanghai, but my wanderlust for travel, the beach life and fresh air have been really itching he past 4 months. I was in the hospital for a week at the beginning of the year for a lung infection. I'm doing so much better now...breathing and all. It just was another nail in the coffin for mean to leave. Its so easy to live in China. I admit that I've let that comfortable bubble distract me from my future adventures. So its now time to really get to work. So much researching on locations and jobs and expat life is exhausting, but rewarding. So we shall see.



Anne looking to leave China for good...for real this time...no no I mean it

You've missed nothing...

So its been a year...well about 7 months since I posted. I honestly had nothing to update.
No, no, no I've been lazy and preoccupied. I've narrowed my island move to Taiwan. Its often called China lite due to the feel of Japan (the delicious food, nice people, organized and neat) and the prices of mainland (not too expensive). Its met my criteria due to its location near water (its surrounded). I still want to visit other islands, so that's still on the agenda. How and when is for later.
I've been visiting other cities in mainland and trying to see "real china" before I take my final leave. I'm amazed at how many locals don't know the names of many cities outside of their own provinces. Its been funny, because I've been taking monthly trips to places and returning with pictures and stories. They ask me "where did you go", I reply "Yingtan". They respond with "yingtong? yongtong?, or [insert the millions of ways they attempt to pronounce it and missing the damn point of me trying to tell them about my trip they were so damn nosey to get the details about. ugh]. 什吗 Ying (What Ying?)" I tell them "ying as in eagle and tan as in lake or pond". This goes back and forth until they give up and say "I don't think you're saying it correctly, there is no such place". I'm now to the point where I say "oh ok, probably". Knowing damn well Yingtan is a real place that I really went to see some real mountains. I'm to the point now where I say "oh I was sick, that's why I asked for the days off". 
My patience level (aka BSTL bullshit tolerance level) has impressively increased. I'm getting better at ignoring the dumb shit and accepting the things I cannot change, changing the things I can and...you know the rest.

No jaw dropping updates really. I've gained a ton so I'm going to the gym. I'm not bitching about, but just going. I've decided to push myself harder for the next 10 weeks, considering how I should have done this 4 months ago while I was stuffing my face with ALL possible great local foods while traveling.

I will soon quit my current company and move on to a better opportunity that will springboard me faster and smoother to Taiwan...

I've had to say countless good-byes to good friends. It made me wonder if I'm being left behind and then I quickly remember (while laughing at myself for worrying) that my path is drawn as I go. 


Art is not for the cultivated taste. It is to cultivate taste.
~Nikki Giovanni


Anne with an "e" wishes you well!

I needed reminding...sadly from a quiz

Anne Shirley...

You live more inside your own dream world than out; you're imaginative, intelligent and always look for the best in each person you come across (unless they’ve personally insulted you, of course). You're a dreamer who makes the best of every situation even when there doesn’t seem to be much hope. While you put on a happy face to the world, you often find yourself in the depths of despair where you struggle with loneliness. And while you can talk the hind leg off a cow, you do need time for inner reflection so you can recharge. You are loyal, hot tempered, and the most idealistic kindred spirit.

You're likely an INFP.

Possible next moves...get a map

I’m thinking islands:
Seychelles
Fiji
Mauritius
Maldives
Pacific and/or Indian ocean

Thoughts, questions, concerns...

Although, I signed another year contract with the little monsters, I'm thinking whats after. I will miss these monkeys.

I wish I was special...

If I were special, I think I would have the confidence and drive to do some really great things, or at least finish simple task. For example blogging and updating friends and love ones on my life. I'm currently in Detroit, Michigan (like there's another Michigan pssssh) reassesing as I do when I come to Michigan. I still don't have any answers and I'm still learning. I think I've figured out the basics of living in Shanghai and keeping my sanity. I have unfortunately not been as focused on yoga as I desperately feel is necessary. I'm not stressing because I always find my back to it and my practice greets me like I never left.

This trip home has proven informative and extremely refreshing. Minus the mugging that was slightly overshadowed by the trauma of dealing with the new Chicago transit "Ventra" (aka shit-tra), its been a good visit. Once I accepted the fact that I would not be able to see everyone I wanted, I treasured the time of those I did see.

Lessons Anne has learned from another year in China:
*Patience is a life learning process, no I'm not there yet
*I am much much small in the world than in my head
*I find more things humorous and get upset less (i.e. getting mugged)
*Being aware of the people you let into your life and the work it takes to build and maintain any type of relationship
*I might not be conventional, but I'm not alone in how I think and see things. Makes one feel less lonely.
*Other people can take themselves way too seriously, which I knew, but not taking what they say serious isn't always good.
*Hesitation is hilarious

Thats as much as I can gather right now. Still trying to organize the past 5 months of stuff I didn't post. Its not like nothing happened...its just hard when it all seems so insignificant.

Untill next time.

Love,

Anne

Thailand

At the airport (in China)...
I’m pretty sure this is kidnapping, albeit, legal but definitely some form of  holding people hostage without any hope of release. I complain about this countless times, but the power to control going apeshit in an airport hits unmeasurable levels. Especially when they do not give you any details of when the flight is coming in or IF the plane is even coming...EVER.

Made it to Bangkok...somehow

I’ve hit up museums and local tourist traps. I went to a movie where you have to stand for the kings song (yup that is fo real). I’m enjoying th fact that I am not in china right now. People are so pleasant here. Even one of the taxis driver that tried to swindle me became a friend by the end of my ride. We laughed at how silly he was,(probably and mainly due to the fact I understood 10% of what he was saying.)

Can you believe how hard it is to fine pad thai?!?!?!?
Seriously... its not on every menu, its not that popular. I compare it to the popularity of kung pao and sweet and sour chicken in China. Although they have it its not on most menus. Its a little disappointing and sad when you find out the food you “thought” was all ethnic or traditional just isn’t.  Thank goodness Josh knew what was up and took me to where I could pig out on some good pad thai!

 I found the Bangkok Cultural Center which was so great. So many great Thai artist and local works of art. So much and all so free.

Had dinner with Josh and Patcha. I learned how to eat an entire fish with lots of greens, sticky rice, spices, and apple/kiwi vodka. It was a real treat. I cannot thank Josh enough for being so helppful and awesome.