Still unemployed, but not taking it personal anymore...

To my dearest Prince Edward Island family (meaning anyone reading this),

Its been too long I know, but I only wanted to report positive things...then I read my last not so uplifting post, oh well. I will try to stay upbeat or at least less homicidal. Let's see updates...

No job still and its ok (I think, that's what I keep telling myself). My requirements seem to be ridiculously high for these schools and/or they just don't want me. I've become indifferent with both instances. I've realized that I've not been taking full advantage of my contacts here in China so, I've started and they seem more than happy to give me very detailed pointers and helping me focus more. Another avenue I've somehow decided to take is dating...

I know, right! No judging (Anne Shirley would've definitely taken advantage of this er,ummm networking opportunity) As some of you already know the details, I'm getting to know a few fellas(5 guys of varying orgins and accents to be exact) I feel like I needed to get on board the "its not what you know, its who you know" train. A few of them have suggested some places and/or offered to pass my resume to someone. I'm shameless and I don't care. Plus the guys are hot so it really doesn't matter. Good looking people need to do more charity work for the "not as good looking" public.

My Chinese isn't progressing as quickly as I would like. I'm having trouble with a set schedule with my tutors, because of my random interviews. 11am or 6pm or 8am. These people are crazy with their "work hours". whatever. I'm learning phrases from the mafia aunties in the sauna. (I swear the ladies in the women's area of the gym are straight out of OZ. I'm not talking about Dorothy and some red slippers. I mean shanks and shivs HBO style) The women are rough around the edges and somehow I'm the helpless lamb that needs protecting (the aunties love talking about me and what I should do with my life. a bunch of Chinese life coaches great) Its all innocent so I don't care. I've been frequenting another location recently in Peoples Square. More straight eye candy there and the dance classes are better. I'm amazed, still, at some of the things I see here. I watched a girl do a "sexy jazz" class in tall furry ugg boots. I was so impressed by the end of the class. Oh and wearing jeans to the gym and happily running on the treadmill...I don't get it. whatever works for them I guess.

I've become besties with a DROP DEAD GORGEOUS Brazilian girl named Mavaleen(no clue how to spell that) we talk about her Russian husband and she tells me of all the best brunch places and clubs to go to. She let me know about salsa night at 4 different places thats really cheap. I stop her often and tell her "oh yeah I'm unemployed still so that pie in the sky sounds great" she laughs and says "oh Vladamir will treat" (side note: Vladamir is not her husbands name, but i can neither pronounce or pretend to spell his name. so for all intents and purposes lets call him Vladamir)
we laugh it off and it hit me recently, after watching sex and the city, that this girl reminded me of carries crazy Italian friend with all the luvers!!!! It became full circle and weird for me. I started watching sex and the city because SOMEONE HERE in shanghai at wagas coffee shop, told me that I reminded them of f'n CARRIE BRADSHAW. Since this was the 4th damn time, I decided to sit down and watch the show...I be damn if I don't have my own latin beauty giving me advice on how to live life. C'est la vie.

...more to come


*for you fbookers that have missed my posting of foods, a treat for you. Me cooking veggies (garlic,cilantro,bok choy, jimica, spinach, cabbage, daikon) that I put on a bed of brown rice with green chili peppers. oh and yes it was good!

too much internalizing

Now at the beginning of my 6th week here. After 9 interviews and no real solid ANYTHING, I'm feeling especially frustrated. I noticed my boiling frustration when a Shanghainese lady in her pajamas (cause low class Shanghainese people freaking walk around in their pajamas with some nice church shoes, most ridiculous thing ever) visibly scowls and scoffs at me saying "something, something Laowi". I looked at her and shook my head. All I could think was "can you seriously be judging me while you're in the state you're in". I bit my tongue and came home. I, unnecessarily, imagined all the people I'd interviewed with having the fucking nerve to look down on me.

My confidence won't be shaken, but I need to remember that I can't take this personal. Pretty sure its like teaching 20 four year olds (not strangling or killing them) for an hour and then being told by a somewhat dicey principal that they "want a male teacher". You have to be fucking kidding me. Its not like I could do a sex change mid lesson. You knew very well from the beginning whether you wanted male or female, please come up with a less bullshit excuse. That on top of the practices of the people in charge at the Scholastic office. The Shanghai division of Scholastic is a not ideal for me apparently. I've decided to write the Scholastic US main office and let them know that there is a poor representation of the tried and true Scholastic of the States. Not because I'm bitter, but because its true. (ok maybe 75% bitterness and not like they'll read it anyway) If I wanted to work in disorganized mess, I would've stayed at CIT...ugh.

I'm well aware that China is full of incompetent schools and people. Just know I've turned on my bullshit meter and I've worked for ridiculous people and companies that have had me honing my "calling bullshit" skills.

Come on Monday whatcha got...

I BELIEVE THE CHILDREN ARE OUR....whatever

This pass week, I've had to convince many people that I love and adore children. Those of you that know me, know that that involved some Academy Award winning performing. I don't hate children, I'm just not their biggest fans. Well it turns out teaching kids is lucrative here in China and the kids tend not be snotty ass brats like you find VERY often in the States.

I have a demo class tomorrow with some 4 year old. I have to impress the principal who will be giving me thumbs up or down and perhaps not kill the children. I'm a little nervous. I want to work for Scholastics (yes that's Scholastics!!!)

Any and everyone is looking for English teachers. My other interviews(5)were "quick and dirty" as Jake says. They ask you 8 questions and you're done. This is not a merit based society for sure. They like you or they don't for whatever rational/irrational reasons. We'll see if any of them call me back...

I'm still keeping all of my options open, sort of.
For example, I went to an interview today with a huge expat company Austen Morris Wealth Management Firm. 100% non Chinese, they don't hire Chinese of any kind. I'm sure some money laundering is happening with the "handling of off shore accounts and managing wealthy clients". Considering I'm looking for teaching jobs, I did not go into this interview with my A game. They were looking for a Business Development Director and somehow ended up with my resume. Whatever. Mr Very Large British White Guy whose name escapes me, was selling (interviewing) me on the position. I humored him...for about 15 minutes. I then asked him if this position involved "cold calling". He said yes and that you can make a lot of money here, because its commission based. I smiled and said "I hate to say it, but I'm not a good fit for this position." He graciously thanks me for my honesty and proceeds to go down some strange memory lane about "when I first moved to China...blah blah...now I'm making real...blah blah..." I kept thinking that I might as well hang around, not like I have a job to get to or anything to do today. The reception was keeping the lattes coming, so I couldn't really complain. He was an interesting fellow and the lattes were delicious. He ask me again if I was sure about the position because "you are very personable". I laugh and said like an asshole, "of course I am, but not over the phone. I don't do call centers". Mr Very Large British White Guy apologizes to me for taking up my valuable time and thanks me for coming. He begrudging walks me to the elevator, gives me a handshake and his card. I thought he was going to try and hug me because I listened and talked with him. (I'm not even kidding)I told him that I will add it to my Rolodex (do people still use those?) and that it was nice meeting him. I get on the elevator and started laughing loudly at how ridiculous I was for coming to Shanghai and having the balls to turn down (not like they really offered it to me) that job.

I will not have any regrets because "I believe the children are our future...blah blah blah"

Jake's gone to the States...lots of time to do some thinking on my own. oh boy

This is not China…

Almost a month in and it’s just becoming more and more entertaining. As I sit in the café recovering from dancing til 4AM and setting up job interviews for various Language Schools, it hits me that Shanghai is the Hollywood representation of China. Shanghai is not China. I think Chinatown in LA and Chicago are more Chinesey than Shanghai. Sarah, yes I’m on a first name basis with the employees at the café, just brought me my latte that I didn't ask for yet. I’ve become freaking Norm from Cheers. Not sure how I feel about this…good grief.
My cell contacts have increased to 10. To go from 200+ phone numbers to 0 to 10, is hilarious. Not being attached to my phone has been a life changing thing. I wish I was kidding. If you know me, you know that my phone was my right arm, boyfriend, child, soul. It’s embarrassing to admit, but whatever.
I’ve been “socializing” the past week. Going out and dancing like my life depended on it and meeting people. One of Jake’s school mate said “you really can dance and wasn’t lying about liking it”. HAHAAHHAHAHA, they don’t know. They will pffft.
It’s definitely a place that “its not what you know, it’s who you know”. I’ve not spent a dime going out, these people are crazy. A friend of a friend visiting here from DC told me that I’m working on my “Gwin qi”. This is why he’s in Shanghai. “Gwin qi” is the idea of meeting people and establishing and developing your worth with them. Scratch my back, scratch your back type of thing…
*(I apologize Marilla for all the idioms in this post, but that’s exactly how it is here)
My first mandarin lesson involved a lamented pinyin chart (thanks Jake for having that done!) Thomas, the teacher that’s in medical school and wants to work on his already good English, and myself desperate trying to mouthed and speak strange sounds. The pinyin chart looks like the Periodic Table of Elements…I’m not exaggerating or bullshitting you. Look here. Moving here is nowhere near as challenging as learning this language. I told Jeff that I would have a child (I don’t want to bear a child EVER!) and give it up to learn this language…that’s where my determination and/or craziness lies.


*pictures are from a day at century park with Thomas and Jake. It was a great fall day for walking around the park