Not Quite a Failure...Day 18

So this weekend was definitely a test. I'm not too disappointed in myself, but I did have a shot of jack, a slice o' bacon, a bran muffin that I'm pretty sure had eggs, and a sandwich that was on non 100% whole wheat bread with some cheese.

What I lost in discipline, I gained in perspective. I feel like it was important for me to cheat a little. When I get to the end of this hilarious process I won't pig out to the point of being sick. I am thankful for Eliz making me some of my favorite oatmeal with apples/cinnamon sticks within my parameters of the detox AND coming up with a brown rice porridge that I think I can eat everyday because its soooo good.

I still have my energy and am ready to get strict again this week. I'm going to check out Xport fitness with the FREE trial...I love free things.

I'm going to set up (meaning email like crazy) some phone interviews with some home stay families that are looking to host crazy Americans in Seoul and Tokyo. Wish me luck!

I am slowly checking off things on my whitewash board. My action plan steps are taking longer than I'd like, but slow motion is better than no motion.
I also think I'm being more proactive and reasonable about the task at hand.

That's all for now...

-D

Power'd Up!

I can't articulate very well how I feel, but Ms. Aguilera sort of explains it here...
(imagine me punching the air or something)

...'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter...

Not really sure whom I'm thanking, but the energy from this song seemed most appropriate for expressing how great I feel.

Its day 13!! I got up this morning, excuse me, popped out of bed w/o an alarm at 5am.
Did Jillian Micheals 30 day Shed DVD, ate some fruit, got ready for work.

I HAVE NEVER HAD THIS MUCH ENERGY IN THE AM... IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

Progress thus far with detox/diet...

I've lost 6lbs, found the so called "energy" on day 12, have gained a new respect for my friends and how/why they put up with me and my absurdness. (i.e. delicious special dinners being cooked for me in the name of my diet)

I've surprisingly not gotten sick of the food yet. Mainly because there are so many options and alternatives. People don't realize the combinations of things that really work well together. I'm down to drinking half a cup of coffee and lots of herbal teas. HUGE FEAT OF STRENGTH!

My challenge will be this weekend since I'm going out of town. I'd like to call it "DETOX: HITS THE ROAD". I must convince Eliz and Nat Cat that veggies are our friends...It won't be too hard. Eliz likes to brag about her hummus (which she should) and random healthy creative meals she puts together.
No drinking still...I can do this asa meshi mae (piece of cake)!

I can't thank the folks enough that are encouraging me on this hilarious, yet rewarding (I swear I'm not being sarcastic) venture I've decided to take on. I'm terribly spoiled by my friends and loved ones. I'm always being humored in some way or fashion.

So thank you, thank you, thank you!


I'm not one to promote diets and crap, and I won't push this either.
Like they (who ever the hell they are) say "I can show you better, then I can tell ya"

Watch me!


-Dfo

*please enjoy the ridiculous pic

Day 6...is rough

I'm pretty sure that the weather is making me feel miserable and not this detox thing. No complaining now, because I usually have a migraine at this point.I'm not a fan of being crabby, but I definitely was today. I don't care what anyone says, kicking coffee has to be along the lines of quitting crack. I'm drinking it once a day either straight or with ricemilk when I do drink it. I drank lots of tea today though. I do enjoy the fact there is an office tea time since I make large pots throughout the day. Someone mentioned crumpets with the tea. I laughed and said "If I can figure how to make it on this detox, most certainly". Offices are dangerous breeding ground for absurdness.

I don't have much of an appetite, but I am eating. I've strangely lost 3 lbs. Not sure if that's the 2 hour workout sessions or this "clean" eating. Its only been 6 days.My next order of fruits and veggies will have lots of leafy greens in it. I'm looking for to getting my cooking mojo back. I've quickly grown accustom to prepackaged meals and snacks. Thinking creatively and ahead.

22 days to go. I think I will really want either eggs or string cheese by the 10th or 15th day. I know I could use a stiff drink after work, my goodness they drive me crazy.

On the moving front...

I spoke with Lando today, somehow caught him in between Kardashian takes or something. He's doing some networking for me. A few maybes in Seoul for job leads, and a few in the Korea countryside. I guess I'm willing to be in the countryside for a little while just to get my feet wet. Not shutting any doors or being close minded about any options.

That's all for now.

As for the pics...bottom one is from 2007 with Raquel, me by myself in the green is September 2009, and the on far left is Vikki and I in November 2009. I see a small
difference, but not much. I look more moisturized if anything hahahhaha.

later

Day 1...

I'm not sure how I feel about the look of this blog, but its a work in progress.
It keeps me coming back to "fix it" and post, so I guess that's what I wanted.

My first day of the Engine2 "Diet" (I will call it a cleanse from this point on) seemed harmless. I find that when I have to write down what I eat, its easier not to eat hahahahaha. Completely absurd and totally misses the point of eating right, I know. I am sore from 90 min boot camp that I've found and insist on punishing myself with. The real pain comes tomorrow...Hot Yoga save me!

Ok thats all I got for now. I will work on being more insightful next post.

Please enjoy the random photo I don't recall taking NYE...

Dfo

Leaving alot of BS behind in 09, and will not do it again in 2010...

So its been a year since I started down this path of "self improvement". I've made progress but it feels like an up hill battle at this point. My resolve is unwavering and determination seems even stronger. I'm so thankful for everyone that helped me last year with words of encouragement and support. I look forward to having the continued support and guidance this year as well.

After 1 year of serious workout, these are my results...

I've lost 25 lbs, about 30 inches total all round, gone down 3 sizes.
It doesn't seem like much, but its something. I've been told at the gym by ladies that haven't seen me in awhile that I look like I've lost a lot. That's encouraging because I feel like these small strides are not enough. Especially since I've become obsessed with getting rid of my thighs.
I tried on a size 12 dress and nearly cried in the dressing room, because I could wear it. (I'm becoming an overly emotional girl. NOOOOOO!!!!)

Although the "marathon" is still going and I've not reached the end, my choices and behavior with getting healthier, working out and being aware of the things around me have become 2nd nature. Which was my ultimate goal. I'm somehow still employed for the time being, but still in search of other options for employment. I'm aiming to start the English teaching certification in a month. Focus now it savings, and deciding exactly where to teach English.

I'm doing a detox/diet for the next 28 days with some coworkers. I'm not expecting to lose weight, but to eat "cleaner". No processed foods, meats, diary, oils. It sounds impossible, but I will manage somehow.

2010 focus "... Taking the Next Steps"
Its necessary to have Plan B thru Z, but I'm ready to jump feet first if need be. (within reason anyway)My obstacles are not problems, but opportunities for me to see what I'm made of.

I have to remember not to mistake life's caution signs for stop signs. I must look both ways and keep going.


Dfo

YOTB coming to a close

So I've not posted updates mainly because there are none.

I'm still excercising and pushing myself. Maybe I'm around a size 12 or 14 now. I've sworn off measuring... I mean it this time.

Not much progress, but not giving up or being too obsessed about it.

My attention is focused on preparing to go overseas now. Passport in mail (it would be nice if they'd hurry up and process the damn thing)

I've met someone to practice Japanese with. Two days a week and I feel like I've got lots of work to do. The challenges I decide to take on seem like huge upheavals.

Getting healthy, moving far from friends and family with NO money or real understanding of how this is actually going to work...

I think I've recently realized how lonesome it can be without the ex and frustrating not being able to talk to someone about everything. I feel like I have to go to 4 different people to talk about specific things and still feel like I'm at a lost sometimes. I'm still figuring it out. I don't miss my ex, but we had a lot more in common than I realized. Oh well.

Maybe I'm still adjusting to the idea of "its all up to you by yourself". I have no qualms with doing this, but its tiring.

Enough of the pity party. Moving on.

I'm getting ready for the fall and Kim plans. I've got hockey games to go to, some symphonys to see, some bingo tango to participate in and overseas moving to plan!!!!

I'm looking forward to some Thanksgiving with K/V in NYC!!!

Well I'm hoping to post again before next year...

I'm thinking YOTB II-->The Remix (Getting From Here to There) as a title for the next blog!?!?!

Anyway I'm out.....

*BTW enjoy my pic at the Art Institute. Devin loves to call me up and go to museums randomly.

Patience...is a virtue?

Ok. No whiny post this time....

Just simple statements:

Goal 20 inches lost by Dec!!!
Not sure how or by what miracle, but I will do this.

I think 20 inches will put me somewhere around a size 10 for my shape.
So in actuality a 12.

I skipped the gym today. But I am doing the super hero's workout at home.
Breaking a sweat isn't hard, the pushing myself part is.

I have to not get discouraged and frustrated...

KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON

A guy at work has this posted on his cubicle and I laugh at it, but in reality I need that reminder when I'm at my wits end.

I seem to be in limbo with work. Its fine, it will be fine.
As I get older, I understand very cliches sayings more and more
"Don't sweat the small stuff".
Its that simple...don't sweat it. If its out of your control, you can't control it.

Why are simple things made complex so often.

Cause we are all crazy.

This Marathon Sucks...but I'm Not Giving Up

As I sit at work wondering how much more UMLER fixing I can take, I'm debating whether or not to go to the gym twice today or not. I was down for the count and extremely sore yesterday because of Wednesdays PiYo class. I'm sure its great and all that I'm pushing myself, but how much pain does one take to gain.

I am patiently waiting to hear about the demise of my company. Its a strange and numb feeling to wait for your walking papers. I'm a little anxious for this to be swift kick in the butt that I need. I have so many plans and things I want to "when I become unemployed". I'm counting my chicken before they hatch and I'm ok with it.

I do thank everyone thats supporting and encouraging me on this roller coaster ride.

Options and taking another step.

In the wake of the company I'm working for filing for bankruptcy, and perhaps my soon to be unemployment, my scope of options "seem" good. I happily spoke with a guy from the Teachers of English to Foreign Languages (TEFL). We had a nice long chat about the places I could work overseas if/when I get this teaching certificate. I could do an online course for 2 months with 20 in class hours...

As much as I fuss about not wanting to teach, I think getting myself in the door is whats most important right now. The nice fellow even offered to put me on a payment plan and seemed to really willing to work with me. I'm guessing my story was compelling enough to get him excited. (I'd like to believe that I have that affect on people. I'm sure its not true.hahahahahaha)

So Plan B...

Get teaching certificate, move to Korea (they pay more it seems; health insurance, living expenses, wages, etc. Still researching and its a ferry ride from Japan), sublet Phoenix Lounge to Eliz for a year (if she finds a job here), decide my next move after that...just to start.

I have a Plan C thru DDD, but no need to go into details. Any comments or suggestions would be greatly appreciated on any or all above.

What Else...

People should get paid to look for a job. I've been staring at the computer for 3 hours now and I've found 5 semi-decent jobs. I had not counted on dealing with unemployment in my YOTB.

Alas, c'est la vie. I'm not unemployed JUST yet, but I was told (along with the entire company) that bankruptcy is imminent. I am looking into independent study programs overseas now and I've sent off my application to a few teaching (ugh) positions in Japan. It will be fine. I need to be more malleable with my choices. No limiting myself!!!!!

I just got back from Dallas visiting the fam. I've acquired two amazing new fBook friends that I'm soooooo happy to have found. My cousins Adrian and her daughter Daphne. I love them so much and have missed so much of their lives. Its ok though...its all about going forward.

We've been communicating nonstop since I left Dallas...so so so so happy.

Somehow I managed to make it to the gym while in that hot state. I'm not sure, but I think I even left without gaining 20 lbs (which is usual)

Sidenote...

So I reach and surpassed my goal of losing more inches before I went to Dallas.

(13 inches to be exact *pats herself on her back*)

I was happy with myself I must say. But little did I know that it would

be broadcasted in the gym on a lil something they called "Wall of Fame".

As proud and motivating as that idea is...why must they put such details on the

wall. I don't have any hangups with it, but come on. Anyway, its there and its a positive reminder of my present body and future body (thanks Leen for that)

I will be pushing my cardio now.

I'm still trying to find the balance, but I've narrowed down my focus to legs and stomach.

Long-term goal, which was brought to my attention that I was missing by my mom, to be a size 10-12.

Getting healthy is the ultimate goal, but I didn't think about narrowing the focus to a point where all I need to do is maintain. Mom you're a genius.

Anyway that's where I am now.

Btw the pic is of my sis and dad staring longingly at the Grand Canyon (it was posed no worries, my sis thinks she's Annie Leibovitz its cool)

I see the light in the tunnel, but its dim....

I just finished eating a large thin slice of pizza. It was very good. The perfect ending to a long day at work, an exhausting workout, and a target trip.

I'm to a point where I feel like I'm making what I'm doing a habit. My goal seems to be almost met...then I looked in a mirror. I don't usually watch myself in the mirror during class. I keep my eyes on the instructor lady. For some reason I watched myself today and thought "man I am fat". I thought maybe it was my boobs, but no. My legs are huge, my arms have wings and the list goes on.

I started deconstructing myself and thinking, "what did I look like before, what did I look like when I moved to Chicago, how did I get like this?" I left class 10mins before it ended and started working on the weights. I somehow found myself really funny. I'm lifting and laughing. I realized at that moment that none of that mattered. I'm the me right now and I'm sticking to "going forward". I like that I can laugh at myself when I take myself too serious.

My Gut Feelings...

I'm feeling that my gut is trying to tell me that this move overseas isn't for me...right now.
I think shortening my departure time frame has put me in a panic.
Job searching had become the bane of my existence. As selfish as it may sounds, I don't want to teach.
I wouldn't mind voluteering for a few years somewhere, but I think my health needs to be a lot better than it is in order to save the world (><)

I'm not throwing in the towel just yet damn it!!!!! I refuse to be the person that didn't seek out opportunities and missed out on amazing things.

Updates...
Most of the test results I took last doctor visit were good. No cancer (she had to give me a 2nd test, 1st was inconclusive), no diabetes, no high blood pressure.
Flip side...slightly calcium deficient, protein deficient, low blood sugar, side effects of meds are starting to rear their ugly heads...

My workouts had calmed down, but of course I panicked and now I've become experimental and all over the place. Maybe 150 lunges and squat is a bit excessive. I really do hate pushing my body to immobility...fuckin' defeats the purpose of working out. I've been sprinting and walking on the treadmill these days. I actually enjoy running that way. Why must trial and error be the only way to figure this out? I've decided to not be stagnate with my exercise. I like mixing it up...keeping my body guessing it the goal YOTB!

I'm feeling trapped and not having much of an outlet. Thinking too much has become problematic, so I'm going to start yoga and meditation on the weekends. If Mandy teaches classes in my apt. I will definitely have no excuse for missing it.

I should just publish my book and sell it and live off that...enoughs enough!!!!

Nope Not the Wig

Oh so amusing!!!

Got my hair cut today. Feeling good about it. Maintenance should be minimal, but we'll see. I like that I have bangs and they're not weird. I'm not sure why I feel invincible right now, but I do!!!

I'm going to wake up early tomorrow, get to work at a decent time, do a zumba class and piyo sometime between meetings and phone calls. YOTB meeting on Sunday. I'm curious what we will talk about. I've been wondering how the others are fairing with meeting their goals for YOTB.

This has been an off week. I'm not sure why it was so hard to get up AND go to work, but I'll have more motivation next week. My plan is to use as many free pass for yoga all over the city in the next few months. Its a fun challenge that I'm sure my cheerleading friends will partake in...

Cause I'm invincible right now!!!!

Keep on keeping on!

Well, where to start? I've lost 4 and quarter more inches. I got measured Friday. I'm happy that there is some measurable progress in the right direction. So that's a total of approx.14 inches. My goal is to lose 8 inches by my next measuring. I need to run. Come hell or high water, I need to run.
I'm thinking of going outside now to go for a run around the block or at the school playground across the street. I did Zumba today and broke a mad sweat. I feel good when I sweat during my workout.

Clothes were fitting better, now they're not really fitting so great. Maybe too big now. No complaining!!! All part of the process. I'm going to Bikhram with Kim and Leen tomorrow. I really like the hot yoga. So relaxing, hard, but relaxing. The apt is coming along...slowly, but surely.

We've not had a YOTB meeting in awhile. Everyone is busy and preoccupied. This is sort of defeating MY own purpose for this "movement". Having it become part of your life not squeezing it in. I guess at this point, to each his own. As long as everyone is happily reaching their goals, no need to complain.

I'm getting antsy about moving. I need to get a solid action plan together. I'm thinking visiting some places might be necessary. Japan seems to be my focus right now. I'm reading about people with allergies...I need to consider all angles, seriously.

Now off to fiddle with my book about temping...absurd. There is endless material. Just need to put it down.

Clothes and Life, what the Hell

I didn't think I would get to this where I feel such disdain for shopping. Clearing and organizing
the life has become a chore instead of the 2nd nature behavior I wanted to somehow "just happen".
I own too many things and am sad that I have to get more things, because my clothes are not fitting properly. This should be a good thing but seems to be counter-productive. I find I think about things too much. Constantly over thinking gets you no where.

This weekend, I'm going to put out at least 6 chapters of my book and narrow my move (location) some more. I'm really looking forward to going to Dallas. Just thinking about how my visits there will be numbered if I move overseas has suddenly begin to trouble me. I know I have my families support in whatever I decide, but moving across country alone is another world from moving across a body of water.

I need to find a job with a good fit for me. I might be unrealistic with the economy like it is, but I'm going to do this somehow.

Now back to listening to some Leehom. He's going to sing me into being super motivated and positive...