stepping stones..

I'm seriously just done with talking about moving. I need it to just happen (magically if possible) I'm pretty sure I'm getting rejected/ignored because of my pic that I'm sending with my resume....to be continued

On another note...

I wanted to ignore the fact that Del, my roommate, is not really believing/accepting/understanding of me leaving our great arrangement. Living happily with someone for almost 6 years brings bonds, comfort, and family-like feelings that are immeasurable. I will treasure this time of my life with Del. He was one of the 1st people I met and befriended in Chicago. He knew me before Bill (the ex) and has witnessed me transform into the awesome person I'm slowly becoming.
He's encouraging and lets me have my space on so many levels. I need to thank him.

I did a lot of thinking on my trip to Canada. No real soul search, but just a lot of "what ifs" and "how many contingency plans do I really need" type thoughts. I've decided to take a journey into a far more unfamiliar world then just moving 1400 miles across country, which I did when I moved from Dallas. I have no doubt that I can do it, but I'm really scared.

Luckily I'm not career focused, takes a lot of pressure off of my plans. My ultimate goal in life is to just write, volunteer, work part time somewhere that doesn't involve being a slave to spreadsheets.

Speaking of writing...I was turned down by 2 more publishers. Its fine though. I think I need to have more confidence in my work and give off the "I AM A WRITER" aura. I really can't take myself serious so why the hell should I expect anyone else to. If I were serious I think I would just self publish. I've got things to say (I roll my eyes at myself for how funny this sounds)
Even if people don't agree, its time I put it out there.

Hiatus Over, Listening to the body more...

Lets see...

I'm trying to wrap my head around Visas, like which ones I need to get for touring vs working in China and S.Korea.
My searches have been narrowed to coastal China, Seoul/Busan /Incheon S. Korea.
I figured, with the advice of Jake, that the cultural shock won't be too much if I focus on cities that are known for being expat friendly and I think I could acclimated well in.

So, my wrist has healed and I'm gradually trying to get back into working out on my regular schedule. I cut back quite a bit, understandably being broken and all. I was pretty sure I didn't lose or gain. I'm not eating and white flour, sugar, or processed foods, dairy, or meat.I figured that there wasn't too much damage made by me not working out excessively.

A coworker commented on how "thin" I looked and I didn't think much of it. Someone else said something and I was for sure that they were crazy. So I went and got measured...

I lost 5 freaking inches and 8lbs! The trainer at the gym attributed this to my metabolism "getting up there". This made me happy and also explained why NONE OF MY BRAS ARE FITTING!!!

Yes friends! I'm a 38DD HOLLA (formerly 42DD)!!!!! I seriously thought something was wrong with me and my clothes and bras, but my annoying boobs are going down. They're still too big, but its progress.

I'm heading to Toronto this weekend. I can't explain how excited I am to get away.
Right on schedule with my 31st bday. I need to do some thinking and mind clearing while I'm away.

Thats all she wrote...for now.

~Integration and Transitioning~

I will treat you all to some pics of me doing strange things...



So I've decided to start saying "when I move" instead of "hopefully" or "thinking". This is going to happen.

I'm looking for recruiters (agents and agencies that assist with jobs in foreign lands) and using all my friends to help as well. The lead I had before wants a lot more money than I'm willing to pay. I know I can do this without have to got bankrupt in the process.

It warms my heart to know that so many of my friends have happily rallied up for me. Your help is immeasurealbe and priceless. Leen, Dana, Lando, Jake and everyone in between. I'm so grateful to have the good sense to meet good people and make them my friends. I'm rusty at networking, but its not going to stop or diminish my resolve here.

I will keep you updated on the progress of this. I need to get a better pic of myself to send off with my resume. Maybe pictures that look like mug shots are not really ideal for job applications.

Health is good. I'm integrating the no meat, no dairy, no oils, no processed foods into a more doable and sustainable lifestyle choice. I've got the energy. That natural crack high...gotta love it. My yoga has taken on a life of its own. I've always been flexible, but I'm able to do poses that I've never thought of trying before. This is crazy, but I'm amazing myself with my "feats of strength". (Which is what I call ALL the things I do no matter how great or small. If I don't think highly of myself can't expect anyone else to, right?)

It seems my confidence is not lacking, nor do I hide how awesome I am. hahahahhahaha

Stay tuned for more stuff and things...

A rant...my declaration

*Sorry for the extreme language

Fuck winter for making me feel like shit. I stopped going to hot yoga as often as I was, my workouts have suffered these past few weeks, and I'm just feeling crappy in general. I decided today...no more. I'm tired, sore, and bruised from snowboarding this weekend. I did not let this stop me from going to the gym. I've had it with this funk I'm in.

Dear winter,
I will not stay in and become a vegetable, bump on a log, or any other metaphorical term for hibernating and being lazy.
I will stand in your cold AND I WILL complain.
I will walk in the snow filled sidewalks, because you decided several feet of fluffy goodness is cute.
I will happily don fun hats to keep my head warm when your subzero temperatures get out of hand.
I will wear as many scarves as possible when you're being pissy and insisting on blowing snow and wintry mixes at me.
You will not last much longer, so I'm going to put up with you.

Hear this winter...you will not dictate my feelings anymore.

Sincerely,

Resident of Chicago that just declared war on you


On an up note, I've started back on the E2 diet. I'm not really "on" it. I should stop saying that. I am doing the E2. I want to sustain eating no dairy, no meat, no oils, no processed foods for more than the original 28 days.
5 days on (during the work week) and 2 days (the weekend)not at strict. I might use olive oil or eat fish on the weekends. I'm not going to think too hard about it. I want eating like this to be less of a chore and more of a habit.

Thats all for now.

I got some air and chai and chilled...

I believe my wonder lust is getting the best of me. Being here (in this city, in this job, in this state of mine, etc, etc) is making me so restless and I'm constantly thinking that every move I make, needs to be towards my ultimate goal. Perhaps to the point I think I'm actively sabotaging my own health. I somehow got the idea that I should take excessive vitamins and minerals when I came off the detox in order to get ahead of the game (building immune system up, getting a cold or what not)...that turned out to be a very bad idea.

My, now toxic, blood levels will be normal in a few weeks.

Eggs, cheese, meats, oil hate me now and I can't seem to get use to them, STILL! I'm thinking this might be a good thing considering what the stuff does to your body.

So March 1st, I'm looking forward to permanently eating the plant-based diet.(permanently eating like I did with the 29 day detox I did in January) I'm aiming at 5 days (during the week on) and 2 days (the weekends off). I won't be as strict as before this time around. Hopefully I'll have some more people who want to take on the challenge with me. Lots of people seem to be interested in my "feasts o' strength" hahahaha.

I'm a walking infomerical for this thing!!! Engine2 is FOR YOU!!!!
It still weirds me out that I feel the NEED to eat this way, just so that I can get that natural high again...I do miss it.



More details to follow later...

Discovering and Recovering

I'm trying very hard to get back on the normal food wagon...I'm failing miserably.
So I'm thinking that this diet/detox was great overall, but I failed to have a proper exit strategy.
I underestimated what NOT having certain foods in my body meant after 28 days. Instead of slowly introducing food, I went head first like an idiot and ate things my body immediately rejected. So I am adjusting right now. I will probably eat meat and diary a few times a month. I liked having that energy. Back to keeping it simple.

We had a potluck at work today. I had a plate with 3 tablespoons of things on it that I couldn't finish. It was sad, there were so much good munchies.

Maybe removing oils, dairy, meat, processed foods completely is the lifestyle change I need...

Still figuring it out.

After 28 days

Its done. I'm finished.

Lessons learned from this:

-I can go without meat, dairy, oils, processed foods period

-This is not JUST a detox/diet. Its a lifestyle change that works wonders.

-Cooking properly for yourself has so many rewards.

-To my amazement I have will power, not as much as I would like, but I have it.

-Feeling my best should be top priority. All the time

-Disciplining yourself can change your outlook on life

-Having people around that are just as excited about what you're doing , if not more, keeps you motivated and definitely fuels you.

-I have and should be proud of my accomplishments...


I will probably keep this diet to some extent. Maybe adding oil and cheese every
now and again. From now on I'll be aware of my eating, without being excessively strict. I like having the energy and feeling good. Maintaining is whats important now.

Final Stretch...

I seriously can't wait to eat tater tots. I know people are sick of me talking about and I don't care ;-P

2 days now!

Current Status: I feel incredible! I could run a marathon literally if I wanted to right now. (I have no desire to do such a thing, but you get the point)
I find it really funny that this diet/detox was mostly common sense. Of course you will feel like crap and heavy if you eat lots of dairy. Of course removing unnatural things from your diet will give you the energy that you want and need.

I'm sleeping better (when I'm not fighting sleep to stay up). I am seriously getting up before my alarm. I do some stretching and meditating and I'm off.
I am now a full believer in cooking for yourself.
By controlling what you're putting into your body, you minimize the toxin and bad crap that you come in contact with. This all sounds cheesy and "ummm yeah that's a given", but its so true.

When I started down this path a little over a year ago, I had no real plans to do diets or drastically change myself. I just wanted to feel better mentally, physically, and emotionally. I am genuinely happy with my progress. This sounds really crazy but I'm really liking the person that I'm slowly becoming.

-dfo

Not Quite a Failure...Day 18

So this weekend was definitely a test. I'm not too disappointed in myself, but I did have a shot of jack, a slice o' bacon, a bran muffin that I'm pretty sure had eggs, and a sandwich that was on non 100% whole wheat bread with some cheese.

What I lost in discipline, I gained in perspective. I feel like it was important for me to cheat a little. When I get to the end of this hilarious process I won't pig out to the point of being sick. I am thankful for Eliz making me some of my favorite oatmeal with apples/cinnamon sticks within my parameters of the detox AND coming up with a brown rice porridge that I think I can eat everyday because its soooo good.

I still have my energy and am ready to get strict again this week. I'm going to check out Xport fitness with the FREE trial...I love free things.

I'm going to set up (meaning email like crazy) some phone interviews with some home stay families that are looking to host crazy Americans in Seoul and Tokyo. Wish me luck!

I am slowly checking off things on my whitewash board. My action plan steps are taking longer than I'd like, but slow motion is better than no motion.
I also think I'm being more proactive and reasonable about the task at hand.

That's all for now...

-D

Power'd Up!

I can't articulate very well how I feel, but Ms. Aguilera sort of explains it here...
(imagine me punching the air or something)

...'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter...

Not really sure whom I'm thanking, but the energy from this song seemed most appropriate for expressing how great I feel.

Its day 13!! I got up this morning, excuse me, popped out of bed w/o an alarm at 5am.
Did Jillian Micheals 30 day Shed DVD, ate some fruit, got ready for work.

I HAVE NEVER HAD THIS MUCH ENERGY IN THE AM... IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

Progress thus far with detox/diet...

I've lost 6lbs, found the so called "energy" on day 12, have gained a new respect for my friends and how/why they put up with me and my absurdness. (i.e. delicious special dinners being cooked for me in the name of my diet)

I've surprisingly not gotten sick of the food yet. Mainly because there are so many options and alternatives. People don't realize the combinations of things that really work well together. I'm down to drinking half a cup of coffee and lots of herbal teas. HUGE FEAT OF STRENGTH!

My challenge will be this weekend since I'm going out of town. I'd like to call it "DETOX: HITS THE ROAD". I must convince Eliz and Nat Cat that veggies are our friends...It won't be too hard. Eliz likes to brag about her hummus (which she should) and random healthy creative meals she puts together.
No drinking still...I can do this asa meshi mae (piece of cake)!

I can't thank the folks enough that are encouraging me on this hilarious, yet rewarding (I swear I'm not being sarcastic) venture I've decided to take on. I'm terribly spoiled by my friends and loved ones. I'm always being humored in some way or fashion.

So thank you, thank you, thank you!


I'm not one to promote diets and crap, and I won't push this either.
Like they (who ever the hell they are) say "I can show you better, then I can tell ya"

Watch me!


-Dfo

*please enjoy the ridiculous pic

Day 6...is rough

I'm pretty sure that the weather is making me feel miserable and not this detox thing. No complaining now, because I usually have a migraine at this point.I'm not a fan of being crabby, but I definitely was today. I don't care what anyone says, kicking coffee has to be along the lines of quitting crack. I'm drinking it once a day either straight or with ricemilk when I do drink it. I drank lots of tea today though. I do enjoy the fact there is an office tea time since I make large pots throughout the day. Someone mentioned crumpets with the tea. I laughed and said "If I can figure how to make it on this detox, most certainly". Offices are dangerous breeding ground for absurdness.

I don't have much of an appetite, but I am eating. I've strangely lost 3 lbs. Not sure if that's the 2 hour workout sessions or this "clean" eating. Its only been 6 days.My next order of fruits and veggies will have lots of leafy greens in it. I'm looking for to getting my cooking mojo back. I've quickly grown accustom to prepackaged meals and snacks. Thinking creatively and ahead.

22 days to go. I think I will really want either eggs or string cheese by the 10th or 15th day. I know I could use a stiff drink after work, my goodness they drive me crazy.

On the moving front...

I spoke with Lando today, somehow caught him in between Kardashian takes or something. He's doing some networking for me. A few maybes in Seoul for job leads, and a few in the Korea countryside. I guess I'm willing to be in the countryside for a little while just to get my feet wet. Not shutting any doors or being close minded about any options.

That's all for now.

As for the pics...bottom one is from 2007 with Raquel, me by myself in the green is September 2009, and the on far left is Vikki and I in November 2009. I see a small
difference, but not much. I look more moisturized if anything hahahhaha.

later

Day 1...

I'm not sure how I feel about the look of this blog, but its a work in progress.
It keeps me coming back to "fix it" and post, so I guess that's what I wanted.

My first day of the Engine2 "Diet" (I will call it a cleanse from this point on) seemed harmless. I find that when I have to write down what I eat, its easier not to eat hahahahaha. Completely absurd and totally misses the point of eating right, I know. I am sore from 90 min boot camp that I've found and insist on punishing myself with. The real pain comes tomorrow...Hot Yoga save me!

Ok thats all I got for now. I will work on being more insightful next post.

Please enjoy the random photo I don't recall taking NYE...

Dfo

Leaving alot of BS behind in 09, and will not do it again in 2010...

So its been a year since I started down this path of "self improvement". I've made progress but it feels like an up hill battle at this point. My resolve is unwavering and determination seems even stronger. I'm so thankful for everyone that helped me last year with words of encouragement and support. I look forward to having the continued support and guidance this year as well.

After 1 year of serious workout, these are my results...

I've lost 25 lbs, about 30 inches total all round, gone down 3 sizes.
It doesn't seem like much, but its something. I've been told at the gym by ladies that haven't seen me in awhile that I look like I've lost a lot. That's encouraging because I feel like these small strides are not enough. Especially since I've become obsessed with getting rid of my thighs.
I tried on a size 12 dress and nearly cried in the dressing room, because I could wear it. (I'm becoming an overly emotional girl. NOOOOOO!!!!)

Although the "marathon" is still going and I've not reached the end, my choices and behavior with getting healthier, working out and being aware of the things around me have become 2nd nature. Which was my ultimate goal. I'm somehow still employed for the time being, but still in search of other options for employment. I'm aiming to start the English teaching certification in a month. Focus now it savings, and deciding exactly where to teach English.

I'm doing a detox/diet for the next 28 days with some coworkers. I'm not expecting to lose weight, but to eat "cleaner". No processed foods, meats, diary, oils. It sounds impossible, but I will manage somehow.

2010 focus "... Taking the Next Steps"
Its necessary to have Plan B thru Z, but I'm ready to jump feet first if need be. (within reason anyway)My obstacles are not problems, but opportunities for me to see what I'm made of.

I have to remember not to mistake life's caution signs for stop signs. I must look both ways and keep going.


Dfo

YOTB coming to a close

So I've not posted updates mainly because there are none.

I'm still excercising and pushing myself. Maybe I'm around a size 12 or 14 now. I've sworn off measuring... I mean it this time.

Not much progress, but not giving up or being too obsessed about it.

My attention is focused on preparing to go overseas now. Passport in mail (it would be nice if they'd hurry up and process the damn thing)

I've met someone to practice Japanese with. Two days a week and I feel like I've got lots of work to do. The challenges I decide to take on seem like huge upheavals.

Getting healthy, moving far from friends and family with NO money or real understanding of how this is actually going to work...

I think I've recently realized how lonesome it can be without the ex and frustrating not being able to talk to someone about everything. I feel like I have to go to 4 different people to talk about specific things and still feel like I'm at a lost sometimes. I'm still figuring it out. I don't miss my ex, but we had a lot more in common than I realized. Oh well.

Maybe I'm still adjusting to the idea of "its all up to you by yourself". I have no qualms with doing this, but its tiring.

Enough of the pity party. Moving on.

I'm getting ready for the fall and Kim plans. I've got hockey games to go to, some symphonys to see, some bingo tango to participate in and overseas moving to plan!!!!

I'm looking forward to some Thanksgiving with K/V in NYC!!!

Well I'm hoping to post again before next year...

I'm thinking YOTB II-->The Remix (Getting From Here to There) as a title for the next blog!?!?!

Anyway I'm out.....

*BTW enjoy my pic at the Art Institute. Devin loves to call me up and go to museums randomly.

Patience...is a virtue?

Ok. No whiny post this time....

Just simple statements:

Goal 20 inches lost by Dec!!!
Not sure how or by what miracle, but I will do this.

I think 20 inches will put me somewhere around a size 10 for my shape.
So in actuality a 12.

I skipped the gym today. But I am doing the super hero's workout at home.
Breaking a sweat isn't hard, the pushing myself part is.

I have to not get discouraged and frustrated...

KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON

A guy at work has this posted on his cubicle and I laugh at it, but in reality I need that reminder when I'm at my wits end.

I seem to be in limbo with work. Its fine, it will be fine.
As I get older, I understand very cliches sayings more and more
"Don't sweat the small stuff".
Its that simple...don't sweat it. If its out of your control, you can't control it.

Why are simple things made complex so often.

Cause we are all crazy.