Never thought in this lifetime

I would ever have the conversations and encounters I've had.


For example, Jo told me a few days ago "I'm not dating you for your passport. I don't need or want to go to America." I would give you context of this, but there is none. Out of the blue he says this as if he just remembered and I needed to know immediately. Me confused, looked at him and I said "Good, no one invited you. So no worries". It occurs to me later that Western women could have the same issue as the men here. So its commonly known that men are often used (some are ok with it) for their passports. I never thought for a second that I would be considered a high commodity. Some Chinese friends tell me to be careful all the time about who I meet. I now see that they are genuinely worried about me being swindled into marrying someone and BOOM! they're American. The idea of it is just funny to me. I dare someone to try to "use" me for my damn passport.

I never thought in my lifetime would I have to explain to someone how and why I'm not rich. Why I'm Black and not African and/or do I sell drugs. This falls under cultural shock I believe. This has become a huge motivator for me to learn Chinese. I really need to explain some shit to people properly. I was laughing at these encounters at first, but I'm seeing that people just don't know. How would they? I'm not sure how to tell someone that yes I'm American and yes I've made more money in a year than some of you will probably make in a lifetime, but no I'm not rich. Its not easy to understand this.

A very interesting exchange I often have with some Chinese people I work with is when they ask me if something is considered rude. I will tell them "yes, where I'm from thats extremely impolite and/or rude". They get honestly upset because I've not told them before hand. I tell them that there is no way I can tell a billion of you people(yes I say you people, because this is how you explain things here) that sharing other peoples salary information, eating while talking, pushing, telling someone they've gained weigh, etc, etc is not how we roll in the US. I tell them that they were doing this stuff before I got here and will keep doing it. No point in me trying to change it. The amazing counter response I get time and time again..."We want to do it just like Americans". I then realize that its not about manners but how one "should" act when imitating someone else. I've met some Chinese people that can rival my American-ness, so they think (the idea of brand names and celebrity news = knowing all about America)I can't remind them enough that whats on TV and the movies isn't how ALL OF AMERICA is. I ask them if they've heard of a little thing called public radio...I get silence (I'm an asshole and I know it)

Yes the Earthquake was the icing...

On the cake of my experiences in China.

So I've not updated due to the fact that I'm stupid busy trying to get use to working in a private school, while juggling the private students that I've successfully STOLEN from the pimp school that I sometimes work with, dating a Nigerian guy named Jo and trying to find a good internet connect is impossible!!!!

Ok here we go, a summary of the past month.

The private school:
1st, is it hilarious.I have been there about 5 weeks now. The students are comfortable enough to call me fat and beautiful at the same time. My Chinese teacher assistant jumps in to reprimand them (me being initially happy and surprised then immediately awkward) and quickly tells them that "Teacher D is not fat, she is sexy. Right Teacher D?". This was not in my lesson plan to teach, so I uncomfortable smile and prayed that the Chinese assistant wouldn't come to my rescue again. 2nd, they treat English class like gym class. Once I realized that I am was hired to give the school more of an "international appearance", my frustration with teaching 13 forty minute classes of 36 students of varying ages (6 to 12) and English levels (they can say hi or tell me the fruit and things they like and dislike) subsided. My sole purpose for these kids is to just teach them how to SPEAK English. I don't care what!!!! 3rd, the paperwork and stamping that's involved in ANYTHING done here is mind blowing. Because my work visa paperwork isn't complete, I get the pleasure of going to HK again. My indifference and/or mild frustration is duly noted by the headmaster. (mainly because I told him and told him that compensation was necessary for my unnecessary troubles)

The pimp "school":
I have started to put my foot down with them and refusing people I don't want. They might not know the word, but I'm showing them what AUDACITY means. I let them know "bu qing" (it ain't happening) most of the time now. They think they're taking advantage of me, but I'm letting them know that I'm not going to make money for them so easily anymore.

The guy:
Jo is funny, former physicist - now he does distribution of pharmaceutical equipment between China and anywhere you name it, extremely good looking, great to hangout with, and might be a keeper. Who knows, I'm enjoying myself and taking one day at a time.

The earthquake/tsunami/radiation:
The last earthquake was felt in Beijing yesterday (today is Thursday). We are told not to eat seafood and stay indoors as much as possible. Few people are panicking about the radiation, but everyone seems on alert. I'm not too worried myself, especially after the nuclear fusion lesson I got from Jo and worst case scenario possibilities. Because the proximity is close, our biggest fear is wind. Heading west for a few weeks might be doable, but we'll see. I'm hoping that the layer of pollution over China can prove to be a good sheilding force field. (I've watched too much Star Trek sorry) Radiation levels are being monitored in all major cities. We seem to be ok for now.

I will try and keep everyone posted and updated as much as I can. In the meanwhile enjoy looking at my hair do :)

love, love from east

anne with an 'e'

CNY Spring Festival...catching my breath

*pictures courtesy of Jake and Kozen, because I couldn't be held responsible for documenting good times and having them simultaneously...

more to come soon

Please make that communist check out to "wo de" (me)

The motorcycle riding interview proved lucrative. I signed the contract today. Go figure. They want me to be apart of their absurdly large, extremely communist private school (this is the school, google translate and enjoy some good old fashion communist reading ;) Its part time so I can keep most of the private students I have and continue my "stealing clients" misison (mwahhahahaha) I work 30 hours a week, they will pay for Chinese lessons (woot woot) they help get the work visa, and contract is til Feb 2012. Looks like I'm going to hang around for a bit here. I'm looking into FREE non degree language programs that Papa Obama says he will give to Americans wanting to learn Chinese abroad. If you're not into politics you should be at least reading how China is growing and progressing at a phenomenal rate. I know I keep saying this, but watching a country progress at this speed is really astonishing. I am so desperate to learn Chinese just so that I can be better prepared for whatever the hell is coming next.
just saying.

Anyway, today I also picked up my 6 outfits from the fabric market that I had made last week for about 500RMB ($75USD)-found a magazine and pulled out pictures, picked out some fabric and showed the lady, she measured me and then made them - Have I not said my life is pretty ridiculous already. I will post pics somewhere when I wear the clothes.

The injured German fellow (his name is Erik)is doing a little better and might not need surgery. I'm going over for some bath tub soaking and brownie baking this weekend. I will be checking up on him as well. Gil would not be happy if I were not kind to strangers ;)

I finished my taxes after almost having a nervous breakdown and going postal. I've gained 5 kilos and I'm avoiding meat like the plague. Fun times as usual in Shanghai.

More to follow...soon. CNY is on the horizon (Chinese new year)

100+ days in but whose counting

I've been trying to update this damn thing for the past week. China firewall and Vista hate me. So out of boredom I pulled the wigs out (Jake, Kozen (Jake's bf) and myself)...so for your enjoyment: Pic of me in wig revisited... you're welcome hahahahha

I made it safely back from Hong Kong and felt motivated to start another mission. As I complained to Jake about my teaching gig (the whoring job), it came to me that I could just start taking the students from this ridiculous "school" and being a private tutor for them on my own terms. The students pay WAY too much and I don't get paid enough (btw they paid me!!! hallelujah!!! they also took a pimping fee. bastards) I've happily taken 3 students from them. One of which is teaching me Chinese in a very strict fashion (powerpoint, dry erase board, worksheets)her name is Angela and she's awesome. Another is Watson, some real estate big deal fella (meaning he's absurdly rich) that wants to get better with his english so that he can go to yoga class and improve his listening. I go to his office and home and we basically do yoga. I think he will be my connection to teaching fitness in China. Lots of "guanxi" from that man. The 3rd is a college girl name Marieanne thats studying for her GRE and dislikes the language "school" as well. I sense a mutiny in order and I'm ok with leading the angry mob...

On a more positive note. One of the guys that asked me out during one of the million interviews I went on, gave me a call about a private school needing a full time and/or part time teacher. Pay was from 6,000 to 14,000RMB per month. Since my indifference toward job interviews is at an all time high, I accepted. I was running late for the interview because stupid language "school" got some classes mixed up (per usual)and messed up my schedule. I couldn't find a taxi so I had to hop on a motorcycle taxi (big group of guys that hangout by some subway exits with their motorbikes trying to make an extra buck). I hailed one of the biker guys, I somehow saddled the bike in my interview dress and show him the address in Chinese from my phone and said "Zhèlǐ qǐng" (here please) I was happy to have the moral support of the pack of other bikers that cheered me on as I, without realizing, flashed them while we drove off. whatever. My life is so stupid. I get to the school, interview goes well and they offer me the position for teaching their primary school. They're not sure about whether they want me full time or part time (story of my life). I have to wait til after chinese new year to figure out the contract in order to sign and get details. I'm not holding my breath but it would be nice to make 14,000RMB...for realz.

As far as the guys go, not a lot in rotation. I'm down to a solid 5. My French Chinese guy likes to buy me coffee and work on his English. You know how I am about free, so this is fine. One of the German fellows that I met when I first got here, has been in and out Shanghai for work. He's recently hurt his back (herniated disk)and lives close by, so I've been helping him by taking him fruit and milk and whatever little things he needs. In return I use his BIG ASS KITCHEN AND BATH!!!! Yes folks, I found someone that will let me use them for their amenities. He complains to me about his chinese girlfriends how that only like him for his money and I happily listen and watch his big ass tv and bake and hangout in his mansion...I've already said my life is stupid. I've started checking in on him a few times a week between gym and tutoring. I'm doing my part for mankind. DO NOT WORRY people. The extremely smart Australian fellow is out of town for work, the other 2 are in Beijing so they don't really count. The Croat will be here on the 25th. I am honestly nervous, but whatever. I think that just about sums it up.

So much money can and is being made here. Everyone in China seems to be trying to get a piece of the money pie. I think I will start looking into getting my bite too.
Why not? Hell I'm here.

Sorry this was so damn long...

love

Anne with an 'e'

pics from hong kong and shenzhen

I borrowed Toni's camera for a few pictures...so the fancy pics are from her camera and the boring plain ones are from my cellphone camera...blah. Her camera was too fancy anyway!!!! The construction is amazing and everywhere. They are so serious about advancing, that they might be missing some important factors, like the people and who can actually afford to live in these expensive places...The random botanical gardens through Shenhen was nice, but the weather was sooo glib.
Anyway sorry for the lack of good pics. You've seen one city, you've seen them all. No I'm not jaded, I just don't think its really important to take pictures of a bunch of buildings plus it I was on a mission.

Anne with an E meets "Toni with an I"

How can I summarize 5 days of absurd people, places, and things? I will just talk about the ones that stood out. Little did I know I only touched the tip of the iceburg with the people I met at the hostel. A Chinese American New Yorker that thought everyone was jealous of her (she spoke Chinese and was young and naive). A young Chinaman from Hubei looking for an accounting job in Shenzhen. A few other oddballs as well. The one that stood out the most and insisted I go with her on most of her outings was Toni. The picture is "Toni with an i" and Yaoyao. Toni with an i (I will keep referring to her as this because EVERYONE we met, she introduced herself as such and also informed people that they needed to write it down and remember it) If you've ever seen Kat and Kim (Aussie version, not the lame ass US version) mixed with AbFab...then you'll understand this woman. Her story: She's 48, owned and ran a gallery in Wales, had a daughter (that she can't stand), had a nervous breakdown (might have been institutionalize at some point. I didn't want to push the subject), sold all her stuff and started traveling 3 years ago. Lived in India the past year, thought she should write a travel book about art and artist in the East starting with China. Sounds pretty simple right...no. She also has an alterior motive. Change the minds of as many Chinese people she can. Every night we had a different Chinese girl in our room. Same conversation happened every night. Toni with an i asking: "are you happy here in China? what the hell is your government doing? where the bloody hell is the art and personality in this country? how many bloody fucking trees are they going to chop down before they make every city concrete?"
After night 2 I started chiming in, because I'm A. stupid and B. I found this interesting. I tried to explain to Toni with an i that you can't miss what you've never had...for example having to form your own opinion about the environment and how rapid your city is growing commercially. Toni, addressing the poor confused Chinese girl, "there are a billion of you people, you could over throw the government. What the bloody hell". Sadly Toni with an i never got what she wanted out of the Chinese girls until the last two young students roomed with us. I told her that of course they understand what she's saying because they're a new generation of Chinese thats more aware. Yaoyao, 21 year old student studying painting, said she wants to go to Germany - for the beer festival and Holland - because lesbians can get married. (Toni and I both later laughed at this and agreed that someone was a closet lesbo and it was really cool) Yaoyao was our tour guide for a few days. Local museums, gardens in Shenzhen, and really interesting spots. AJ was the last girl we had as a roommate. She was so inspired and fired up by Toni with an I, that she was talking of quitting school to start a movement with fellow classmates. I know times have changed a bit and I would never joke about this, but did we forget about a certain "Tiananmen Square" incident...I'm just saying

I believe Toni with an i understood more when we crossed the border to Hong Kong and how our lovely Chinese guides couldn't join us when we crossed back and forth. I felt like a ass for all the times I've taken my freedom for granted. China mainland people can't cross with such ease. Eye opening experience for sure. It took 10 to 15 mins to get my stamp and get through customs...insanely fast. Immigration freaks me out ALL the time. I always feel like I look guilty. Anyway Hong Kong was nice. EXPENSIVE AS HELL!!! Toni with an i and myself visited 4 museums, met with her friend Patty from London (she called her "short ass") popped across the border to Shenzhen for a cheap lunch and popped back to Hong Kong to do more free sightseeing.
FYI it was gloomy, rainy, crappy weather the entire time I was there. So the pictures suck. I will find some decent ones to post. I felt I was dragged around the city, willingly, looking for the "under belly" as Toni with an i says. She likes finding where the prostitutes, brothels, and gambling is happening around China. I found this hilarious, so why not, right? We found them and no comment.

We returned to the hostel in Shenzhen and the owner of the hostel told me that the police informed them that my 90 days expired. I slightly panicked and said "POLICE"!!! I forgot to show them my stamped passport after the 1st time I went to Hong Kong and the police check the hotels and hostel every few days to make sure everyone is registered...ugh. So all is good.

I left Toni with an i and AJ at the hostel and told them to keep me posted on the travel book about art and the student Movement. It was fun. I will keep in contact with them for sure.

I was very happy to get back to Shanghai. Something about being around "familiar" settings. Just knowing where shit is...is so nice.

Thats about it.

Pics to follow soon.

In Shenzhen

Let's see where to start...
I took a taxi to the bus, which took me to the airport in Shanghai. From the airport in Shenzhen, I took local bus to the subway. From the subway, I rode 2 stops and thought "if I'm lucky, there will be a mule or horse waiting for me". Alas, I only had to walk a few blocks and there was my lovely hostel. Because I am poor I got the pleasure of sharing a room with 2 other ladies. One big slumber party...WEEEEE
A 20 something year old Chinese business girl and a 40 something year old British lady finding herself. So it was necessary I was roomed with these 2, I was the missing piece for sure.

My first day here was not exciting. I slept ALL day. I was still recovering from New Years Eve and no real sleep. Its fine. I've met a handful of people in the hostel. I've gotten roped into doing some local activities (free because they're all hippies and poor). Visiting places off the beaten path, museums, and local parks. The 1st order of business was to buy some food (oatmeal,eggs, bread) and eating utensils at the market across the street ~NO EATING OUT~ (please see above picture, 50 cent was spent on a cup and kiddie bowl and monkey spoon...yes I SCORED)

Today I explored Shenzhen a little via dietie (subway). I found all the malls. *rolls eyes*
I'm ok with easing into the China lifestyle (meaning not going to the really dirty China just yet), but seriously. These cities are crazy. Big building and malls everywhere. I step off the plane in Shenzhen and thought this is freakin' Miami. Why are there palm trees in China? Bright Yellow and Pink are not colors for buildings...EVER!!! There is no need.

I'm going to head across the border tomorrow (the HK) and will try to remember to take pictures. I keep forgetting, but this doesn't seem like a vacation nor do I feel moved to take pictures. So we'll see.

Hope everyone had a happy new year!!!

What the hell am I doing?????

Dear Marilla,

This is what I've taken to saying to myself EVERY SINGLE day. I'm currently scurrying to find plane/train/mule/motorcycle tickets to Hong Kong because my 90 day stay is up and I don't have any visa sponsorship...(no worries found cheap airline tickets across Hong Kong border in Shenzhen. I get there and take the subway over the water and cross the border into Hong Kong for a few few days, then fly back to Shanghai. Piece of cake...right?!?!)
Anyway...

I have 13 - 15 students that are as irregular as they can come with cancelling and rescheduling our class sessions weekly/daily/hourly. So my time going to the "head pimp" for more students is not necessary. I can't budget to save my life here. First, I've not been paid for hundreds of minutes of works (getting paid by every 100 minute is by far the most ass backward system I've encountered...whatever) Secondly, getting paid once a month IS INSANE. Thirdly, I'm too busy teaching folks English to stop and crack down on MY mandarin...ARGHH!!!! So frustrating.

I apparently need some niche or unique selling point in order to do anything in the fitness industry here. I'm not trying to pull some Billy Blanks marketing shit, so I need something low key AND I enjoy...I'm working on that now as well. For some reason many here seem to think that being a Black American means "you can dj at any random club", "you can find a job anywhere"...ummm yeah NO

The places I've interview with must realize that I just want to do yoga all day and not much else. Still trying to figure out how I've sent out my resume to over 100 places and had 19 interviews and nothing. Yes I've turned down jobs for middle of China, Indonesia, and some other 3rd world places. Because I'm not ready for that and its not what I want to do right now. (The pay sucked too. I have USD bills to pay still and making something equivalent to $400USD a month is not what I want to subscribe to...sorry)

Which brings me to a new fact that I've found out about myself: my standards of living ARE pretty f'n high. Yes I've decided to live in the freaking NYC of China and YES I am unemployed and YES I should be more compromising with my living standards...BUT I AM NOT. While chatting with another english teaching working "whore", we talked about our expectations of living in Shanghai (what we will put up with and WILL NOT) We agreed "the american" comes out at times and we proudly become the asshole Laowai (foreigners) when we have certain expectations on hygiene, common courtesies, and human behaviors that should be "understood" as wrong are being displayed toward us. I'm a reasonable person, most of the time. I'm respectful of culture, but I draw the line when simple things are over looked. If I'm paying over 40RMB for a meal, I will need you to wash your hands.(I know, but $6 IS a lot here don't judge) No ifs, ands, or buts about this. I've strangely found my patriotism while being here...hilarious.

*Steps down from high horse*

So the hot fellas that were coming out of the wood works are all out of town for the holidays, so my networking mojo is a no go. Which is fine because I need to focus on not getting shipped back to the US and go to Hong Kong. No one should be jealous of my absurd life...seriously.

Sorry this post is so long, but I've not posted as often as I wanted this month. I will post pictures soon of stuff and things. Btw I didn't mention Xmas because I worked and was sick. Plus I'm indifferent toward it anyway so it doesn't really matter. Hope you all had a wonderful holiday. I'm told celebrations here are from December til February (Chinese New Year). Gives me plenty of time to join in on some festive activities...blah

love, love, love from shanghai to all.

signed,

Anne Shirley running to the border :)

a different type of whoring around

Yes Marilla, I said it. I've been ho-ing around. I've become apart of the English teaching prostitution game here in Shanghai. By way of one of the fellas I've met (lets call him pimp for consistency sake) Since I've not been able to find a full time job, I've taken on part time work at a few language schools/centers...thus my journey into the dark side of English teaching has begun.

I get a text message anytime from 3pm to 10pm that guy X and girl B need a tutor at Y time that day or next day. The location is sent to me in Chinese and I'm to show the cab driver and they will take me to whatever god forsaken place I'm being ask to go to...(its been mainly millionaire families that have money to throw away and around to give their precious child EXTRA lessons. I'm not complaining)
The students/parents pay for the cab and I get paid, hopefully in a month (200RMB per hour and you get paid once a month. I'm still in my 1st month, ugh...i thank my fairy godmother for the recent help in my money issue that i can't begin to calmly go into) If I don't get a text, I'm suppose to call or go by the language center/school, along with the rest of the "English teaching whores" and find out where my next "john" (student) will be. Its a little competitive, but I'm not trying to "choke a bitch" over some teaching job...no ma'am. Nothing but class over here.

I've acquired 5 regular students (customers). A 3yro girl, 6yro boy, 9yro girl, 17yro guy, 27 yro married mother. There are others that are on my regular schedule that are thrown in from time to time, but these are my staple private students. I'm in the process of figuring out proper lesson plans to guide them. This is challenging and what I needed. The married mother only wants to talk about makeup and "how is it you don't wear any?" The 9 year old girl has full on ADD and refuses to speak English. 6 year old boy just wants to read to me (less work for me). the 17year old high schooler is being forced by his dad to study so its complicated (having to tell him to do his homework so we can go over it)

The 3 year old scares me to death. Not because she's a kid (I might be over that lil problem), but because English is her 3rd language and she's smart as hell. She was born in the UK (nice loophole to get around the 1 child thing here in China apparently) and her family lived in Germany. So she speaks Chinese, German, and English. Did I mention she's 3 damn years old. She laughs at my weak attempts at speaking Chinese to her to explain English words, while singing "the wheels on the bus go round 'n round"...Her name is Happy. She's the sweetest and cutest thing ever. We have discussions on Winnie the Pooh and how Eeyore should be more prevalent in the stories. She's going to be a force to recon with one day. I asked her "do you know what world domination is Happy?"...she looks at me with her big 3 year old eyes "what is a dommimation, we look it up". I pat her on the head and tell her "you'll find out soon enough when you're running things"

thus my whoring continues...

Still unemployed, but not taking it personal anymore...

To my dearest Prince Edward Island family (meaning anyone reading this),

Its been too long I know, but I only wanted to report positive things...then I read my last not so uplifting post, oh well. I will try to stay upbeat or at least less homicidal. Let's see updates...

No job still and its ok (I think, that's what I keep telling myself). My requirements seem to be ridiculously high for these schools and/or they just don't want me. I've become indifferent with both instances. I've realized that I've not been taking full advantage of my contacts here in China so, I've started and they seem more than happy to give me very detailed pointers and helping me focus more. Another avenue I've somehow decided to take is dating...

I know, right! No judging (Anne Shirley would've definitely taken advantage of this er,ummm networking opportunity) As some of you already know the details, I'm getting to know a few fellas(5 guys of varying orgins and accents to be exact) I feel like I needed to get on board the "its not what you know, its who you know" train. A few of them have suggested some places and/or offered to pass my resume to someone. I'm shameless and I don't care. Plus the guys are hot so it really doesn't matter. Good looking people need to do more charity work for the "not as good looking" public.

My Chinese isn't progressing as quickly as I would like. I'm having trouble with a set schedule with my tutors, because of my random interviews. 11am or 6pm or 8am. These people are crazy with their "work hours". whatever. I'm learning phrases from the mafia aunties in the sauna. (I swear the ladies in the women's area of the gym are straight out of OZ. I'm not talking about Dorothy and some red slippers. I mean shanks and shivs HBO style) The women are rough around the edges and somehow I'm the helpless lamb that needs protecting (the aunties love talking about me and what I should do with my life. a bunch of Chinese life coaches great) Its all innocent so I don't care. I've been frequenting another location recently in Peoples Square. More straight eye candy there and the dance classes are better. I'm amazed, still, at some of the things I see here. I watched a girl do a "sexy jazz" class in tall furry ugg boots. I was so impressed by the end of the class. Oh and wearing jeans to the gym and happily running on the treadmill...I don't get it. whatever works for them I guess.

I've become besties with a DROP DEAD GORGEOUS Brazilian girl named Mavaleen(no clue how to spell that) we talk about her Russian husband and she tells me of all the best brunch places and clubs to go to. She let me know about salsa night at 4 different places thats really cheap. I stop her often and tell her "oh yeah I'm unemployed still so that pie in the sky sounds great" she laughs and says "oh Vladamir will treat" (side note: Vladamir is not her husbands name, but i can neither pronounce or pretend to spell his name. so for all intents and purposes lets call him Vladamir)
we laugh it off and it hit me recently, after watching sex and the city, that this girl reminded me of carries crazy Italian friend with all the luvers!!!! It became full circle and weird for me. I started watching sex and the city because SOMEONE HERE in shanghai at wagas coffee shop, told me that I reminded them of f'n CARRIE BRADSHAW. Since this was the 4th damn time, I decided to sit down and watch the show...I be damn if I don't have my own latin beauty giving me advice on how to live life. C'est la vie.

...more to come


*for you fbookers that have missed my posting of foods, a treat for you. Me cooking veggies (garlic,cilantro,bok choy, jimica, spinach, cabbage, daikon) that I put on a bed of brown rice with green chili peppers. oh and yes it was good!

too much internalizing

Now at the beginning of my 6th week here. After 9 interviews and no real solid ANYTHING, I'm feeling especially frustrated. I noticed my boiling frustration when a Shanghainese lady in her pajamas (cause low class Shanghainese people freaking walk around in their pajamas with some nice church shoes, most ridiculous thing ever) visibly scowls and scoffs at me saying "something, something Laowi". I looked at her and shook my head. All I could think was "can you seriously be judging me while you're in the state you're in". I bit my tongue and came home. I, unnecessarily, imagined all the people I'd interviewed with having the fucking nerve to look down on me.

My confidence won't be shaken, but I need to remember that I can't take this personal. Pretty sure its like teaching 20 four year olds (not strangling or killing them) for an hour and then being told by a somewhat dicey principal that they "want a male teacher". You have to be fucking kidding me. Its not like I could do a sex change mid lesson. You knew very well from the beginning whether you wanted male or female, please come up with a less bullshit excuse. That on top of the practices of the people in charge at the Scholastic office. The Shanghai division of Scholastic is a not ideal for me apparently. I've decided to write the Scholastic US main office and let them know that there is a poor representation of the tried and true Scholastic of the States. Not because I'm bitter, but because its true. (ok maybe 75% bitterness and not like they'll read it anyway) If I wanted to work in disorganized mess, I would've stayed at CIT...ugh.

I'm well aware that China is full of incompetent schools and people. Just know I've turned on my bullshit meter and I've worked for ridiculous people and companies that have had me honing my "calling bullshit" skills.

Come on Monday whatcha got...

I BELIEVE THE CHILDREN ARE OUR....whatever

This pass week, I've had to convince many people that I love and adore children. Those of you that know me, know that that involved some Academy Award winning performing. I don't hate children, I'm just not their biggest fans. Well it turns out teaching kids is lucrative here in China and the kids tend not be snotty ass brats like you find VERY often in the States.

I have a demo class tomorrow with some 4 year old. I have to impress the principal who will be giving me thumbs up or down and perhaps not kill the children. I'm a little nervous. I want to work for Scholastics (yes that's Scholastics!!!)

Any and everyone is looking for English teachers. My other interviews(5)were "quick and dirty" as Jake says. They ask you 8 questions and you're done. This is not a merit based society for sure. They like you or they don't for whatever rational/irrational reasons. We'll see if any of them call me back...

I'm still keeping all of my options open, sort of.
For example, I went to an interview today with a huge expat company Austen Morris Wealth Management Firm. 100% non Chinese, they don't hire Chinese of any kind. I'm sure some money laundering is happening with the "handling of off shore accounts and managing wealthy clients". Considering I'm looking for teaching jobs, I did not go into this interview with my A game. They were looking for a Business Development Director and somehow ended up with my resume. Whatever. Mr Very Large British White Guy whose name escapes me, was selling (interviewing) me on the position. I humored him...for about 15 minutes. I then asked him if this position involved "cold calling". He said yes and that you can make a lot of money here, because its commission based. I smiled and said "I hate to say it, but I'm not a good fit for this position." He graciously thanks me for my honesty and proceeds to go down some strange memory lane about "when I first moved to China...blah blah...now I'm making real...blah blah..." I kept thinking that I might as well hang around, not like I have a job to get to or anything to do today. The reception was keeping the lattes coming, so I couldn't really complain. He was an interesting fellow and the lattes were delicious. He ask me again if I was sure about the position because "you are very personable". I laugh and said like an asshole, "of course I am, but not over the phone. I don't do call centers". Mr Very Large British White Guy apologizes to me for taking up my valuable time and thanks me for coming. He begrudging walks me to the elevator, gives me a handshake and his card. I thought he was going to try and hug me because I listened and talked with him. (I'm not even kidding)I told him that I will add it to my Rolodex (do people still use those?) and that it was nice meeting him. I get on the elevator and started laughing loudly at how ridiculous I was for coming to Shanghai and having the balls to turn down (not like they really offered it to me) that job.

I will not have any regrets because "I believe the children are our future...blah blah blah"

Jake's gone to the States...lots of time to do some thinking on my own. oh boy

This is not China…

Almost a month in and it’s just becoming more and more entertaining. As I sit in the café recovering from dancing til 4AM and setting up job interviews for various Language Schools, it hits me that Shanghai is the Hollywood representation of China. Shanghai is not China. I think Chinatown in LA and Chicago are more Chinesey than Shanghai. Sarah, yes I’m on a first name basis with the employees at the café, just brought me my latte that I didn't ask for yet. I’ve become freaking Norm from Cheers. Not sure how I feel about this…good grief.
My cell contacts have increased to 10. To go from 200+ phone numbers to 0 to 10, is hilarious. Not being attached to my phone has been a life changing thing. I wish I was kidding. If you know me, you know that my phone was my right arm, boyfriend, child, soul. It’s embarrassing to admit, but whatever.
I’ve been “socializing” the past week. Going out and dancing like my life depended on it and meeting people. One of Jake’s school mate said “you really can dance and wasn’t lying about liking it”. HAHAAHHAHAHA, they don’t know. They will pffft.
It’s definitely a place that “its not what you know, it’s who you know”. I’ve not spent a dime going out, these people are crazy. A friend of a friend visiting here from DC told me that I’m working on my “Gwin qi”. This is why he’s in Shanghai. “Gwin qi” is the idea of meeting people and establishing and developing your worth with them. Scratch my back, scratch your back type of thing…
*(I apologize Marilla for all the idioms in this post, but that’s exactly how it is here)
My first mandarin lesson involved a lamented pinyin chart (thanks Jake for having that done!) Thomas, the teacher that’s in medical school and wants to work on his already good English, and myself desperate trying to mouthed and speak strange sounds. The pinyin chart looks like the Periodic Table of Elements…I’m not exaggerating or bullshitting you. Look here. Moving here is nowhere near as challenging as learning this language. I told Jeff that I would have a child (I don’t want to bear a child EVER!) and give it up to learn this language…that’s where my determination and/or craziness lies.


*pictures are from a day at century park with Thomas and Jake. It was a great fall day for walking around the park