I really want to exit stage left (Chicago) as if I were never on the stage. (I laugh at myself for imaging I'm some sort of celebrity taking a curtain call...I am ridiculous) Its going to be so hard to leave. I seriously didn't realize how much I rooted myself here. Its amazing how significant each and every encounters become when you know they're numbered. *soak it up*
I keep jokingly saying that I'm about to jump off a bridge without a chord and am seriously praying that there is water or something below. That's exactly what it feels like. I'm not prepared enough, but who ever is. I've not posted in my blog because it makes the events that are about to happen more real than I could ever have imagined. *soak it up*
I'm dumbfounded at the support of people motivating and cheering me on. I'm doubting myself every step of the way, but am somehow keeping my determination.
Until I am willing to disclose all the details. I will leave you with "cold war" by Janelle Monae. This song is speaking to me RIGHT NOW...*soak it up*
So you think I'm alone
But being alone's the only way to be
When you step outside
You spend life fighting for your sanity
This is a cold war
you better know what you're fighting for
This is a cold war
Do you know what you're fighting for
If you wanna be free
Below the ground's the only place to be
Cause in this life
You spend time running from depravity
This is a cold War
You better know what you're fighting for
When wings of the weak can
Bring grace to the strong
Make all evil stumble
As it flies in the world
All the tribes come
And the mighty will crumble
We must brave this night
And have faith in love
I'm trying to find my peace
I was made to believe there's something wrong with me
And it hurt's my heart
Lord have mercy ain't it plain to see
This is a cold war
you better know what you're fighting for
This is a cold war
Do you know what you're fighting for
I can do this.
~soak it up is what i told people before i left dallas about 10 years ago. it wasn't for them, but a reminder for me to remember these times and treat the memories as a sponge...soak it up~
