More Characters in this drama called "China"

A few of my most prized adult students.

The princess...

Her name is Mia. She has crazy artsy hippie rich parents.
She owns a horse...in Shanghai. No one owns horses in Shanghai. She works for a French luxury brand doing business development. (This basically means she meets people and have dinner and tell them to buy her company's brand because its popular and its the "in" thing to do). She has a friend that collects (yes like baseball cards and coins for normal folks) 1000+ year old houses all over China, disassembles them and meticulously puts them back together with a team of people on her huge plot of land that she is currently hiding from the Chinese government...

Mia is married to a guy that agrees with them living apart (she lives in shanghai and he lives in Wuhan that is 5 hours away). Next year she wants to have a kid, because she is bored with life and a kid would give her something to do (not joking her words). She is currently looking into going into the television industry, because she thinks its as easy as saying it and she knows people...


The sort of Canadian...Branda

She's a 46 year old  property developer in Shanghai with a husband (works for a Japanese company in Vancouver. Which means she doesn't really need to work but because she needs something to do, she flies back and forth from Canada and China) and 16 year old daughter. Because she wants to get a job in Canada,  and her English isn't very good, she started having lessons with me. Her and her family  emigrated to Vancouver  5 years ago. Because her daughter and husband make her feel bad about her English level she  is now seriously trying to improve her oral English. She keeps asking me to help her with her driving. I tell her NO! She has failed the the Canadian drivers test 8 times in 4 different cities all over Canada, yet she drives in Shanghai...that should tell you something for sure about the driving standards here in China.

Boston bombs, N. Korean missiles, China bird flu....

I keep listening to NPR hourly updates on everything and its depressed me.

I would have thought this was strange 4 years ago...

I arrived back to my apartment after  being away for a few days, to a bed being burned in from of my door. A chalk circle had been draw around the perimeter of the bed. A large  tarp tent had been erected with many people sitting at several dining room tables outside. Now I had been on and off a bus tour and walking under the sun for the past 48 hours but I didn't think I was delusional.

I have had enough sense to know this was some sort of ritual but I did not know what/how/why it was happening. I just wanted to get pass it and go into my apartment. I also didn't want to be cursed by stepping in on or around the crop circle.  While I'm trying to figure out how to possibly scale the walls to my room on the 3rd floor, my roommate messages me "oh yeah 1 of our neighbors died (because I live in a retirement community surrounded by 80 and 90 year old) and their doing the bed burning and memorial ceremony in front of our apartment."
I said "WHAT BED BURNING AND MEMORIAL CEREMONY????!!!" Albeit I do not personally know super old Chinese that have died nor am I familiar with the routine after they die. I asked my roommate HOW DO I GET INTO THE APARTMENT without pissing off the remaining old people? She text "you will have to walk through the chalk circle"...you’ll be fine she says. So I walk though the crowd with the 1 finger church disrupting pose saying 不好意思(bu hao yisi) meaning, pardon my rudeness. I’m still not sure what happened...

Where am I?

Oh its China, thats right.

This is no April Fools joke...

So I had the flu. No no, not a little stomach bug or tiny fever. I was in bed for a week. Visited the hospital, got IV,  blood work, western/eastern cocktail of meds. I had fevered dreams of dragons, me doing stage performances (wonderfully I might add), and running from children asking questions about life. I am feeling better now. I haven't gotten my voice back completely and I can only keep down soup. This happen because:
a)I stopped taking vitamins and minerals (got busy and forgot to replace)
b) around kids
c) have the weakest immune system EVER
d) chose China

So no complaining from me. I learn and live with my decisions. As I'm about to turn 34, I am seeing changes in myself. Not because I'm turning 34 but because I'm a repeat offender. I am noticing how I am faced with familiar problems and its up to me to make the right decision THIS time. Hindsight gets on my nerves, but its reality.

I have known for a very long time that I don't want to get married...ever. I talk to a long time friend, Lindsey, that reminded me of this. She said she found a letter I wrote her in 2002, that had a picture stamp on it of me and my ex (so dumb and cheesy). I apparently said in the letter that I would probably marry that guy. We see how that turned out. I've been saying I will probably marry Joe. People who want to get marry don't say probably or act indifferent. I was thinking of marrying so that we could travel around together easily and that was about it.
 Joe was not thinking like this (his thoughts building a future with wife and kids and getting a passport on his own with me...whatever). This is all fine and good. I just realized Joe was a distraction for me. I was concentrating so hard on trying to make it work that I forgot about MY plans. No harm no foul.

Distraction #2...smacked me back to reality. I've been collecting private students left and right, doing favors for so and so just really being too nice. I get a phone call from the Xuhui Police Bureau asking me to come into the station. I ask Officer Wang Son (not even making this name up. I have a card) how he got my number and why they needed to see me. He said that we could talk about this more at the station. I asked if I needed a lawyer, he said no. They just had some questions about a company they think hasn't been paying taxes. I say ok. I hang up the phone, look at which flights would be the quickest/cheapest route home. Give copies of my passport to my roommate and my German friend and let them know if they don't hear from me, they need to look for me. If you learn nothing else here, you learn how to make/have an exit plan. I get to the police station Mr. Wang Son and one of the agents I get private students from, Cathy, are waiting for me. Cathy looks at me and nervously smiles and grabs my hand saying everything is fine. Probably because I had a look on my face (a few weeks ago, when I started getting sick and felt horrible wearing my mask) like I would burn this fucking place down and calmly walk over to the US consulate 4 blocks away to let them them know what I did. Mr Wang Son's English was great which made me more comfortable. If I was going to be accused of something, Imma need you to to explain this BS in my native tongue. He asked me how I got my students and I said friends of friends, not a company. He said that my friends work for companies and that don't pay taxes and we have to see how much money they're made so we can fine them. I looked over at Cathy with eyes saying "I'm here because you guys didn't pay your bribe on time?" I low balled all the figures they asked about because I honestly couldn't remember how much I've made from any of them. Officer Wang Son said that this didn't effect my visa nor my record. I said ok and he showed me the transcript of the conversation and questions and answers. I was thinking this is like an affidavit, but just wanted to get out of there. Cathy and I left and she said kept apologizing to me in the taxi and said that they would  pay the fine and that this wouldn't happen again. She said a disgruntled student* reported them to the police and everyone was being called in. *some rich guy I met with once and said ummm nope don't want to teach. he thought differently and was insisting that Cathy "make" me be his teacher cause he's paying. I met him again with Cathy and told him "You have confused me with your ayi (maid). I pick my students they don't pick me. Please find a more suitable teacher for YOUR needs." So now I'm guessing he didn't like this...damn. Yesterday Officer Wang Son calls me again saying that the investigation was complete and that they've been waiting for me to come in and sign. I have no voice and squeak to him "ok fine". I thought "damn that was an affidavit". I go in and ask if the company will be closed down and how much is the fine. Officer Wang Son says in the most condescending tones "unlike your country, we are very forgiving. In your country the people would get in trouble and that would be the end of them." In the same breathe he tells me its illegal for foreigners to have part time jobs. I ask him do I need another visa or another over stamped bureaucratic piece or paper (I'm being an ass at this point) to do part time work, because EVERY foreigner does part time work. He said no. Its just illegal. I start signing papers and ask him again "so the company that hires foreigners for part time work stays open to keep hiring foreigners illegally?" He looks at me like I gave him a magic eye puzzle to solve. I continue signing all these BS papers squeaking (no voice) "well in my country its pretty black and white in this area. you get caught you get busted. The end. Oh and we save trees too." I was signing copies of copies of copies of copies of the same 5 pages of conversation that happened  a few weeks ago.  I thanked him for his time and Officer Wang Son asked if I wanted to go have coffee. He said he found me "Charming". I said, sorry but I am still sick, maybe another time. (are  you kidding me????)

I'm cutting back on the number of private students now. I will not be doing extra favors for anyone for awhile.

Slowly removing insane distractions.

Anne with an "e" is on track.