The weight of realizing my extremely small existence here in PRC seems to be affecting my decisions and clouding my perspective. I am annoyed with myself for sounding melodramatic and whiny about not being able to go forward or move in any direction. I have a long list of "GREAT ideas that would prove amazing, IF someone gave me a chance to prove it"...they seem useless right now. I'm not so naive and idealistic that believing who you know isn't the key to success. But in China, who you know is the ONLY way to get anything done.
Although Tiger mom would have been a great contact for business, I would rather call INTERPOL on her ass and have to go into witness protection (I’m sure her and her shady crew of millionaire misfits would be after me), before I would ask her for help.*
*life lesson: there are some bridges that you MUST burn down
Joe tells that doing business and being successful in China won't be easy for me because I'm 'all or nothing' and 'tell it like it is' (apparently these are not good characteristics if you want to be taken serious). He explains to me that in China 1 + 2 does not equal 3. Rational, sensible, logical thinking have to be removed before the business equations can be solved sometimes. Had I not been here for as long as I have (it does not take long to see how hilarious things are), I would have told him "Puhleeeze" Considering the things I've witnessed and been first hand apart of...nothing is impossible. Everything moves slow, rules change daily, brand name (anything) rules.
As much as I would like to be an “Agent of Change”, its complicated. I'm not even a fish in the ocean, I'm a micro-organism at the bottom of the sea. Common sense can't be taken for granted, whats right isn't right and things are done differently and as inefficient as possible. Can I really do business in such a place? Would I really want to try and convince ANYONE here that their quality of life could be improved. I really need to consider these things.
I sit in cafes listening to dreamy foreigners and their ideas of what they want/will do in Asia and how they CAN and WILL change things (overly optimistic and insensitive jerks if you ask me). I read forums about people taking their 'journey' and finding themselves here. I'm guessing many of them didn't take the Shanghai route. Maybe that makes my 'trip' a little unique (I'd like to think I'm somewhat special...its really all in my head) My adventure is taking shape by way of “trying to live in a developed and growing” China instead of 'an ancient and traditional country'. I've been thinking that trying to find where I fit in could be the source of my problems. I should probably turn my attention and focus to finding how China might “fit” into MY plans.
I like this idea a lot more.
Oct 28, 2011
Oct 23, 2011
A year later, lessons learned, looking for Scottie to beam me up and out
This past year has proven to be one of the most challenging for me. Every single day I doubt this decision and then I am immediately reminded, by strangers or friends, that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I still don't know the right answers AND there is a ridiculous learning curve.
As I went jump roping in the park (turns out its the cure for many things, such as zero motivation to deal with life or people) I watch the old people do Tai Chi. There are 2 old men that attempted to teach me and I'm sure they're silently judging me and I my jump rope skills. Whatever, this jump rope got me out the apt. The past 3 days I have been in my apt watching 24. I have heard of this show. I might have seen a few partial episodes, but I never watched religiously. After finishing season 7 (yes 7 damn seasons) I realized that at this point I was falling into some sort of depression. Somehow jump rope was the answer. Also calls from Erick* who sees something is wrong with me and calls me out for walks around the city.
*please recall the injured German whose bathtub I used
I am on my way to Hong Kong...again. I hope to return, a refreshed Anne.
There have been no updates here, because there has been nothing new. I am dealing with the same headaches everyday. Interview for many jobs, one job offer, job sounds promising, take job, get screwed, I'm shocked at outcome...moving on. This last one did pay me (40% less than agreed) so I shouldn't complain...right.
So I've possibly come to the conclusion of "What Would Anne of Green Gables do In China"...she wouldn't fucking come. Bottomline. Anne is crazy but she's a lot smarter than this.
With that said, I'm here and I'm going to stay as long as I can. I don't want to leave here with a bitter taste in my mouth of disdain and frustration. I want to give people and this place a chance. Now to seriously look for other avenues.
Game face back ON.
As I went jump roping in the park (turns out its the cure for many things, such as zero motivation to deal with life or people) I watch the old people do Tai Chi. There are 2 old men that attempted to teach me and I'm sure they're silently judging me and I my jump rope skills. Whatever, this jump rope got me out the apt. The past 3 days I have been in my apt watching 24. I have heard of this show. I might have seen a few partial episodes, but I never watched religiously. After finishing season 7 (yes 7 damn seasons) I realized that at this point I was falling into some sort of depression. Somehow jump rope was the answer. Also calls from Erick* who sees something is wrong with me and calls me out for walks around the city.
*please recall the injured German whose bathtub I used
I am on my way to Hong Kong...again. I hope to return, a refreshed Anne.
There have been no updates here, because there has been nothing new. I am dealing with the same headaches everyday. Interview for many jobs, one job offer, job sounds promising, take job, get screwed, I'm shocked at outcome...moving on. This last one did pay me (40% less than agreed) so I shouldn't complain...right.
So I've possibly come to the conclusion of "What Would Anne of Green Gables do In China"...she wouldn't fucking come. Bottomline. Anne is crazy but she's a lot smarter than this.
With that said, I'm here and I'm going to stay as long as I can. I don't want to leave here with a bitter taste in my mouth of disdain and frustration. I want to give people and this place a chance. Now to seriously look for other avenues.
Game face back ON.
Oct 3, 2011
Yup, thats about right
So I signed a contract with a new English training kids “school/center/business” in Shanghai. They said they will “get me a visa” and “take care” of important paper work for me. The guy that recruited me promised many things(i.e. 20-30hrs per week, flexible schedule, visa, housing allowance, blah, blah, blah)
I get to the school:
*No kids
*The “other english teachers” don't speak english very well or AT ALL
*I am the only English speaker/teacher with any experience
*My 1st schedule...I work 9 days straight. About a 40 hour week (Did I mention the no kids part?)
Apparently I'm not only responsible for teaching the kids (whenever they come), teachers and other staff at this 'New' school, but I am also in charge of convincing the parents and kid that “THIS TRAINING SCHOOL/BUSINESS IS THE BEST AND YOU SHOULD STUDY/BUY CLASSES HERE”
Hilarious...I know.
We have 'public classes', 20 to 25min sample classes for potential students. I've designed many short demos for varying ages and English levels with the other “english tutors”. I've tried explaining flexibility to them and how we won't know what age or level the kids will be, we should be ready for ANYTHING. I tell them that THEY need to speak English themselves and create a comfortable atmosphere for the kids to WANT to learn. I realized after day 3 that my work and aspirations were futile. When the few kids that DID come to the 'public classes' spoke better english than the tutors here, I lost most of my motivation to even try. They hired young college students to come “tutor” English to little kids. I'm not sure what to make of this situation.
This motivated me to go on a job interview at Shanghai Call Center. They're looking for a Corporate Business Trainer. Basically teaching Chinese adults to sound American or extremely fluent in English. This sounded right up my alley, so I jumped at it.
The interview seemed good. They liked me (they always do, but you never know here) so we'll see. I have to wait to hear from them after Chinese National Holiday. If they want me I will RUN, not walk, to that job.
For now I'm trying not to go too crazy with the kids “school”.
The “principal/business owner” told us, in one of our many meetings that she wanted this to be the best school in Shanghai. I smiled at her determination and spirit. She followed that up with “I want us to be better than Disney English!!!!” (one of the top english training programs/company IN THE WORLD) I smiled and thought to myself “of course you do”. My days are made up of settling arguments with the tutors and other workers in the school over whose pronunciation is best/worst. Its interesting that most of them think their fluency is almost native level (they think they sound exactly like me or British) I think its good they have the confidence, but I happily correct them when necessary. Meanwhile,t he paint is still drying, 3 “tutors” have quit and the principal has taken a new approach to the “public classes”. I now sit in the office and work on future lesson plans and quietly sit around looking mysterious and peak the interest of visitors. (I now know how zoo animals feel when being watched)
And thats that...for now.
Love always
Anne with an 'e'
I get to the school:
*No kids
*The “other english teachers” don't speak english very well or AT ALL
*I am the only English speaker/teacher with any experience
*My 1st schedule...I work 9 days straight. About a 40 hour week (Did I mention the no kids part?)
Apparently I'm not only responsible for teaching the kids (whenever they come), teachers and other staff at this 'New' school, but I am also in charge of convincing the parents and kid that “THIS TRAINING SCHOOL/BUSINESS IS THE BEST AND YOU SHOULD STUDY/BUY CLASSES HERE”
Hilarious...I know.
We have 'public classes', 20 to 25min sample classes for potential students. I've designed many short demos for varying ages and English levels with the other “english tutors”. I've tried explaining flexibility to them and how we won't know what age or level the kids will be, we should be ready for ANYTHING. I tell them that THEY need to speak English themselves and create a comfortable atmosphere for the kids to WANT to learn. I realized after day 3 that my work and aspirations were futile. When the few kids that DID come to the 'public classes' spoke better english than the tutors here, I lost most of my motivation to even try. They hired young college students to come “tutor” English to little kids. I'm not sure what to make of this situation.
This motivated me to go on a job interview at Shanghai Call Center. They're looking for a Corporate Business Trainer. Basically teaching Chinese adults to sound American or extremely fluent in English. This sounded right up my alley, so I jumped at it.
The interview seemed good. They liked me (they always do, but you never know here) so we'll see. I have to wait to hear from them after Chinese National Holiday. If they want me I will RUN, not walk, to that job.
For now I'm trying not to go too crazy with the kids “school”.
The “principal/business owner” told us, in one of our many meetings that she wanted this to be the best school in Shanghai. I smiled at her determination and spirit. She followed that up with “I want us to be better than Disney English!!!!” (one of the top english training programs/company IN THE WORLD) I smiled and thought to myself “of course you do”. My days are made up of settling arguments with the tutors and other workers in the school over whose pronunciation is best/worst. Its interesting that most of them think their fluency is almost native level (they think they sound exactly like me or British) I think its good they have the confidence, but I happily correct them when necessary. Meanwhile,t he paint is still drying, 3 “tutors” have quit and the principal has taken a new approach to the “public classes”. I now sit in the office and work on future lesson plans and quietly sit around looking mysterious and peak the interest of visitors. (I now know how zoo animals feel when being watched)
And thats that...for now.
Love always
Anne with an 'e'
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