I made arrangements with Agnes (secretly), she would meet me in Paris and Alisha gave me her information if Agnes couldn't help. Hairong took a train to Paris THE DAY BEFORE I WAS SUPPOSE TO LEAVE AND DID NOT TELL ME. (meaning I needed to stay and watch the children) Alisha said that she wanted to go buy ANOTHER house in Paris and she would return late that night (4hour train ride to Paris, buy house and do some shopping, return on 4hour train to the house at midnight) So Alisha, Solange, and Hairong rode the train together. When Alisha got to Paris she call me and said that that was the longest train ride she'd ever had. Alisha agreed to take Pierre with her to Beijing but ONLY UNDER CERTAIN CONDITIONS
1. You cannot interfere with the choices I make for Pierre from this point on
2. You cannot change Jaques school. If he can work hard with Danielle for a good year he will be able to go to the Swiss school with Solange
3. You need to keep Danielle. You won't find someone like her. EVER (I have become more of a counselor for him than a tutor. Alisha thinks that is what he needs right now)
Hairong said she would agree to all terms. I told Alisha "we'll see. she is a very good actress". Alisha was convinced that she was serious because she was thanking her while crying and admitted she didn't know how to educate children and kept saying she doesn't know what to do with her children (blah blah blah I don't believe any of it) Alisha said if she does not follow the terms, she would tell her husband to stop all business with her. I thought, "oh the irony here". I thanked Alisha and told her she was a saint. She said she wish she could take Jacques too but thats a lot to handle. I told her "well you CHOSE to have have 1 child. She selfishly and stupidly had 2 and adopted another. Seriously there are limits to what you can do." She asked me if I would continue to help Jacques. I told her that I would seriously need to think about it. This was the most ridiculous summer I've ever had. My view of Hairong has changed 180. I still feel sorry for her, but I don't respect her much. I don't usually waste my time with stupid people. Its a crazy habit I've developed. Alisha talks to Jacques to make sure he understands why she is taking Pierre and not him. She tells me that Hairong said she would pay for my hotel and train ticket back to Paris so everything should go somewhat smoothly now...
Hairong returns to the house at midnight and tells me that she will call Agnes to see if she will let me stay with her. In her words "you can't trust thqt viper, but we'll ask anyway". I thought to myself "I would rather be with the viper at this point than a crazy fire breathing dragon" I talked to Agnes with Hairong. Agnes told me on the phone "lets keep this comedy up, so she thinks this was her idea and she THINKS she is rescuing you by ALLOWING you to stay with me." I laugh to myself and just go along with it. I tell Hairong that the train ticket to Paris was 90Euro. She says "oh, thats cheaper than mine were today" and nothing else.
Side story: When I went to Marseille to take care of my visa (which Hairong and Alain swore they would help me with and didn't) I saw that train tickets to Paris were 40Euro. I told Alain that I would buy my ticket back to Paris now since its so cheap. He tells me "no, no Hairong has taken care of your train ticket. That was part of the agreement. So don't buy another." I asked a few more times "ARE YOU SURE"...I regret not going with my gut feeling. Whatever
She tells me that we will meet in Paris. (I'm thinking...why?)That she will take Agnes and I to dinner (we should be gracious for her kindness) before we all leave for Shanghai and she will take any excess baggage for me so that I'm not over weight (right after this she says "maybe you shouldn't do any shopping") I look at her and blankly and say ok and good night. This might be the first time in my life I did not thank someone for all the good THEY THINK they are doing. She suggested I take a taxi because my train was very early, without offering taxi money (about 30euro). I told her "I will be fine on the bus so goodnight"
I wake up at 5am the next morning and gather ALL of my heavy crap. Take the bus, then the train. I arrive in Paris and meet Agnes. She asked "did Hairong pay for the train?" I tell her no. She replies "she is such a bitch. its ok now you can rest"
I slept for 6 straight hours. I had not slept that well in months...Agnes makes me some coffee and says "you don't have to talk if you don't want, but know that I understand". I felt like a weight was lifted and I started telling her the most recent news.
She sat and listened to me this time.
Aug 22, 2011
Countdown to Showdown came faster than expected
After 2 weeks of the kids being productive (not going to hospitals or hurting themselves) and on a decent schedule, Hairong returned. She came back with Alisha and her daughter Solange. Hairong thought she would bring her for a visit to talk to her about business (Alisha's husband builds hotels and Hairong thought she could get the wife on her team to push the husband *rolling eyes*)...NO. Turns out Alisha is a tiger mom that works with her daughter and is INVOLVED with raising her. Alisha wanted to talk education. Alisa is a French/Chinese teacher that values a good solid education. She was not aware of the shit storm she was joining when she came.
Countdown begin
5...Because everyone arrived late to the compound, they all just went to bed. I get up and go to wake up the kids so we can all walk to the market and get bread...I walk in the main house to the kitchen and Charlotte is eating from a newly open jar of Nutella (directly with a spoon) I ask her "what are you doing? are you trying to die?" she replies "mama said its ok" Hairong tells me "its fine, its fine. she's young". Jacques and Pierre look like trucks have run them over. I asked them why do they look so awful. They tell me that their mom kept them up all night talking about how much money she made while waving bricks of cash at them. Also yelling at them that she doesn't want or need kids. I shake my head and tell them "i'm sorry"
4...We sit down to have breakfast, I'm in the process of making coffee. Hairong starts 'selling' her idea of this hotel. Alisha smiles and says, in what I know realize was a condensending tone, "oh, that sounds nice" Alisha turns to me and ask "so how are the children in school". I start explaining to her that their level isn't where it should be and that they will need to work hard in whatever school they're going to. She tells me that Hairong wants to put them into a Swiss and American school. I told her "they would not pass the test to get into any of those school". Hairong said "they need to work hard, you are too soft on them. So about the hotel...needs programs, blah, blah, blah" I half-heartedly chime in with the researched I'd done and explained my "east to west meeting at the sea". Hairong went on for about an hour just talking...I left and said its time for the boys lesson. Hairong said "oh today we're going to beach where President Sarkosy vacations". I say...ummm ok. We swim all day. The kids find a playmate, Solange 13 years old, and they are happy. I'm happy they can play with someone their age. Hairong eventually thinks this becomes problematic because Solange is cute 13 year old girl that speaks Chinese, French, Taiwanese, Italian, English. She has opinions, has seen a lot of the world and her mom doesn't treat her like a prisoner. Hairong doesn't hesitate to tell Alisha that Solange shouldn't be behaving like she is. Alisha smiled and said "this is how 13 years old are".
3...After a day of Hairong antics and yelling fits we return to the compound. Hairong says Alisha and Solange would stay in the house with me. I'm glad because I feel like someone is going to sneak into the house and kill me every single night. Its too damn big. Alisha asked if she could talk to me. I said sure. (my 'please share your thoughts on this situation' sign was brightly lit) We sit down and have tea. She looks at me and says "Are you fucking kidding me?" I almost choke on my tea. She's this little petit Taiwanese lady that speaks great British English/Chinese/French. She begins her story of how she became involved with the family. Hairong sold some helicopters to her husband, but they've not had time to do anymore business ventures. A month ago Hairong TOLD her husband that he can be Jacques godfather and to take him. Alisha's husband said ok, but I need to talk to my wife. Alisha said "I've never met this woman and when I did, I did not like her" Hairong apparently saw how well Solange was doing at school and thought, "ok they can raise kids and they have money..."
Alisha tells me that they (meaning family father, mother, daughter) have worked hard to get Solange where she is now. She says "the boys English, French and Chinese are not very good". I told her they don't have a native tongue. They've changed schools every year or every other year. I'm gotten them tools to work on pronunciation and trying to get them to read more for vocabulary and grammar understanding. I admitted that I'm at a lost because Hairong doesn't agree with my methods (i.e using a computer EVER for ANYTHING) Alisha told me that she is very stubborn. She asked how long I've been with them and how could I stay for so long. I told her that we've gone to a handful of places around France, but she doesn't like taking the kids ANYWHERE. I've taken them out more than their mother has in the past year. Alisha said 'You need to leave. I feel like she's looking for someone to blame for her kids failure". I naively and WAY over optimisticly tell her "its only 7 days left, it will be fine" We talk about the different education systems and I tell her all the countermoves Hairong has given me with every lesson I give the boys...amazing
We talk for 3 hours and she says "we're not staying her a week. we're going back to paris. you should come with us." I thank her and tell her "its ok, I'm a big girl" little did I know.
2...Alisha, Solange, and myself wake up and go for a walk. We come back to yelling and breaking sounds in the house. Hairong found the PSP I help the boys get. (we put a english/chinese/french dictionary on it, because Hairong doesn't think its important to have one around at all times. we put a vocabulary builder with flash cards and pronunciation practice on it, SAT practice quizzes) Hairong saw Pierre with it and went Ape Shit. She threw away their Dell laptop (its about 4 years old and barely worked, thats why I thought the PSP would be better even though their mom has every Apple product under the sun...she doesn't know how to use them), she threw away their itouch, headphones, etc, etc. Anything that was made in this century was taken from them and destroyed. She became satan when they said the PSP was from me (she didn't break it). We came into the house and she ask Alisha, Solange and myself if we could leave them alone for a few minutes. I tell her "I can show you the receipt of the PSP if you like" She rolls her eyes and said "no, just take it. maybe its time for you to go"
1...Hairong then proceeds to ask Charlotte what we did when her and Alain were away. 'SHIT HIT THE FAN' Charlotte story: Danielle forced us to go to mall and made us play games and eat McDonalds. She made us go to the game store to play. Jacque and Pierre didn't study. We had to ride a bus and it was scary. She didn't let me eat sometimes. She was bad to me cause I went to bed hungry. She made me eat cake.
The real damn story:
I took them to the mall because Charlotte said she wanted a Barbie for her birthday and the damn SMURF toy from the happy meal at McDonalds. We went to fnac (book and media store) to get her some ABC, 123 books in french and english FOR CHARLOTTE. While we were there I saw the PSP was really cheap and asked the boys if they knew how to use this as a dictionary blah, blah, blah. Charlotte played the DS 3D and threw a fit when I didn't get it for her. We went to the grocery store so that I could bake a cake for her silly ass because they've 1) never had a birthday party or 2)birthday cake. Its the least I could do considering their parents don't give a shit about them...for serious. We buy the Barbie. I tell the boys that can each get on thing. They get a tshirt and underwear. (they were things their mother wouldn't let them have and I know they were eyeing them for awhile now) We go to McDonalds to get the toy. Charlotte wants to eat there. We eat fish sandwiches and split 2 fries amoung us. I bought some small snacky foods to take to the beach and we walk to the beach. Hangout there a little bit and take the bus back. ...THATS IT.
Hairong says she doesn't want me teaching her children anymore and that we weren't suppose to leave or ride buses...Alisha looks at me and says "What?!?!?!?". I tell Hairong "you seriously believe Charlotte?". She just looks at me and I smile. Oooooh kay. I go back to the house and start packing my things. Alisha says "where are the kids friends? she really wants them to stay on these grounds all summer" I look at her and say "these kids can have no friends and there is no one to rescue them and their mom is crazy. Who the hell listens to a 6 year olds word over an adults...Fuck this I'm out of here" Alisha brought a very good point to my attention. Hairong was brought up during the Cultural Revolution and many of them have no idea about education. Mao Zhedong way of learning was study by sitting alone with a book, pencil and paper. No friends no nothing. Alisha said "I'm strict with Solange, but damn. I've never seen a Chinese mom THIS crazy, selfish, and irrational". She asked what I was going to do. I told her I don't know. She said that her and Solange where leaving the next day and that I should call and let her know that I'm ok...God bless that woman.
I then called Agnes (the 1st ex-wife of Hairong's dead husband that Hairong hates) and said "Hello, this is Danielle". Agnes "Ah, I'm happy to hear your voice. I was expecting your call."
Countdown begin
5...Because everyone arrived late to the compound, they all just went to bed. I get up and go to wake up the kids so we can all walk to the market and get bread...I walk in the main house to the kitchen and Charlotte is eating from a newly open jar of Nutella (directly with a spoon) I ask her "what are you doing? are you trying to die?" she replies "mama said its ok" Hairong tells me "its fine, its fine. she's young". Jacques and Pierre look like trucks have run them over. I asked them why do they look so awful. They tell me that their mom kept them up all night talking about how much money she made while waving bricks of cash at them. Also yelling at them that she doesn't want or need kids. I shake my head and tell them "i'm sorry"
4...We sit down to have breakfast, I'm in the process of making coffee. Hairong starts 'selling' her idea of this hotel. Alisha smiles and says, in what I know realize was a condensending tone, "oh, that sounds nice" Alisha turns to me and ask "so how are the children in school". I start explaining to her that their level isn't where it should be and that they will need to work hard in whatever school they're going to. She tells me that Hairong wants to put them into a Swiss and American school. I told her "they would not pass the test to get into any of those school". Hairong said "they need to work hard, you are too soft on them. So about the hotel...needs programs, blah, blah, blah" I half-heartedly chime in with the researched I'd done and explained my "east to west meeting at the sea". Hairong went on for about an hour just talking...I left and said its time for the boys lesson. Hairong said "oh today we're going to beach where President Sarkosy vacations". I say...ummm ok. We swim all day. The kids find a playmate, Solange 13 years old, and they are happy. I'm happy they can play with someone their age. Hairong eventually thinks this becomes problematic because Solange is cute 13 year old girl that speaks Chinese, French, Taiwanese, Italian, English. She has opinions, has seen a lot of the world and her mom doesn't treat her like a prisoner. Hairong doesn't hesitate to tell Alisha that Solange shouldn't be behaving like she is. Alisha smiled and said "this is how 13 years old are".
3...After a day of Hairong antics and yelling fits we return to the compound. Hairong says Alisha and Solange would stay in the house with me. I'm glad because I feel like someone is going to sneak into the house and kill me every single night. Its too damn big. Alisha asked if she could talk to me. I said sure. (my 'please share your thoughts on this situation' sign was brightly lit) We sit down and have tea. She looks at me and says "Are you fucking kidding me?" I almost choke on my tea. She's this little petit Taiwanese lady that speaks great British English/Chinese/French. She begins her story of how she became involved with the family. Hairong sold some helicopters to her husband, but they've not had time to do anymore business ventures. A month ago Hairong TOLD her husband that he can be Jacques godfather and to take him. Alisha's husband said ok, but I need to talk to my wife. Alisha said "I've never met this woman and when I did, I did not like her" Hairong apparently saw how well Solange was doing at school and thought, "ok they can raise kids and they have money..."
Alisha tells me that they (meaning family father, mother, daughter) have worked hard to get Solange where she is now. She says "the boys English, French and Chinese are not very good". I told her they don't have a native tongue. They've changed schools every year or every other year. I'm gotten them tools to work on pronunciation and trying to get them to read more for vocabulary and grammar understanding. I admitted that I'm at a lost because Hairong doesn't agree with my methods (i.e using a computer EVER for ANYTHING) Alisha told me that she is very stubborn. She asked how long I've been with them and how could I stay for so long. I told her that we've gone to a handful of places around France, but she doesn't like taking the kids ANYWHERE. I've taken them out more than their mother has in the past year. Alisha said 'You need to leave. I feel like she's looking for someone to blame for her kids failure". I naively and WAY over optimisticly tell her "its only 7 days left, it will be fine" We talk about the different education systems and I tell her all the countermoves Hairong has given me with every lesson I give the boys...amazing
We talk for 3 hours and she says "we're not staying her a week. we're going back to paris. you should come with us." I thank her and tell her "its ok, I'm a big girl" little did I know.
2...Alisha, Solange, and myself wake up and go for a walk. We come back to yelling and breaking sounds in the house. Hairong found the PSP I help the boys get. (we put a english/chinese/french dictionary on it, because Hairong doesn't think its important to have one around at all times. we put a vocabulary builder with flash cards and pronunciation practice on it, SAT practice quizzes) Hairong saw Pierre with it and went Ape Shit. She threw away their Dell laptop (its about 4 years old and barely worked, thats why I thought the PSP would be better even though their mom has every Apple product under the sun...she doesn't know how to use them), she threw away their itouch, headphones, etc, etc. Anything that was made in this century was taken from them and destroyed. She became satan when they said the PSP was from me (she didn't break it). We came into the house and she ask Alisha, Solange and myself if we could leave them alone for a few minutes. I tell her "I can show you the receipt of the PSP if you like" She rolls her eyes and said "no, just take it. maybe its time for you to go"
1...Hairong then proceeds to ask Charlotte what we did when her and Alain were away. 'SHIT HIT THE FAN' Charlotte story: Danielle forced us to go to mall and made us play games and eat McDonalds. She made us go to the game store to play. Jacque and Pierre didn't study. We had to ride a bus and it was scary. She didn't let me eat sometimes. She was bad to me cause I went to bed hungry. She made me eat cake.
The real damn story:
I took them to the mall because Charlotte said she wanted a Barbie for her birthday and the damn SMURF toy from the happy meal at McDonalds. We went to fnac (book and media store) to get her some ABC, 123 books in french and english FOR CHARLOTTE. While we were there I saw the PSP was really cheap and asked the boys if they knew how to use this as a dictionary blah, blah, blah. Charlotte played the DS 3D and threw a fit when I didn't get it for her. We went to the grocery store so that I could bake a cake for her silly ass because they've 1) never had a birthday party or 2)birthday cake. Its the least I could do considering their parents don't give a shit about them...for serious. We buy the Barbie. I tell the boys that can each get on thing. They get a tshirt and underwear. (they were things their mother wouldn't let them have and I know they were eyeing them for awhile now) We go to McDonalds to get the toy. Charlotte wants to eat there. We eat fish sandwiches and split 2 fries amoung us. I bought some small snacky foods to take to the beach and we walk to the beach. Hangout there a little bit and take the bus back. ...THATS IT.
Hairong says she doesn't want me teaching her children anymore and that we weren't suppose to leave or ride buses...Alisha looks at me and says "What?!?!?!?". I tell Hairong "you seriously believe Charlotte?". She just looks at me and I smile. Oooooh kay. I go back to the house and start packing my things. Alisha says "where are the kids friends? she really wants them to stay on these grounds all summer" I look at her and say "these kids can have no friends and there is no one to rescue them and their mom is crazy. Who the hell listens to a 6 year olds word over an adults...Fuck this I'm out of here" Alisha brought a very good point to my attention. Hairong was brought up during the Cultural Revolution and many of them have no idea about education. Mao Zhedong way of learning was study by sitting alone with a book, pencil and paper. No friends no nothing. Alisha said "I'm strict with Solange, but damn. I've never seen a Chinese mom THIS crazy, selfish, and irrational". She asked what I was going to do. I told her I don't know. She said that her and Solange where leaving the next day and that I should call and let her know that I'm ok...God bless that woman.
I then called Agnes (the 1st ex-wife of Hairong's dead husband that Hairong hates) and said "Hello, this is Danielle". Agnes "Ah, I'm happy to hear your voice. I was expecting your call."
Aug 14, 2011
I don't understand...
Children or some parents. I just don't. My former BFF now turn anchenemy has begun to test my patience everyday since the departure of her mother. Now tiger dad is gone, she thinks she is running the place. I try to be fair and say "everyone is equal", "let's work together and we'll finish quicker"...none of these are things Charlotte is interested in. I was concerned for her before, but I don't think I realized how far gone she really was. At the ripe age of 6 she feels that she can tell me "I don't have to listen to you. This is my house, and I don't need help with anything". I could seriously reason with a terrorist better than I could with Charlotte. No one has told her that talking to strangers is bad. No one has told her that you shouldn't accept candy from strangers. No one has told her that when someone is responsible for you, YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO THEM.
Before both parents left, I asked them for EMERGENCY contact numbers, where's the hospital, where are the kids IDs and what to do in the event...you know WHEN SHIT GOES DOWN. what are the neighbors info...you know things EVERY PARENT WOULD NORMALLY GIVE YOU WHEN THEY LEAVE THEIR CHILDREN. The response I received is "oh Jacques knows what to do. It will be fine." I asked several more times before they left. I know how stupid kids are, and how they do stupid kid things, because they are...KIDS.
I ask Jacques for details and he says that his mother and tiger dad keep all of their passports and medical information and that he has important phone numbers and I shouldn't worry...I worry
Last night I sent Charlotte to bed without lunch and dinner because she ate her weight in candy and gum and lied about it. She ransacked her brother's room and my room looking for candy (my sore throat cough drops) and anything sweet. Stashed all her newly found booty in her room (family sized jar of Nutella, 2 litters of Lime Schwepps, the list is long) She said that her dad said that she could have them. I have zero tolerance for liers and absolutely disdain for theives. She moved to the top of my SHIT list. She thought I would be like her mom and dad and give in and take her a plate of food or happily accept her apology...ummm NO. I told her that she can have her candy she stole for lunch and dinner. I also told her brothers if they gave her ANYTHING, they would be on the same meal plan as well. We go to bed with no arguments and she cries herself to sleep.
I get up and go to the main house to see the kids. The boys report me that Charlotte got up, ate breakfast, cleaned her room, and was now practicing her alphabet...I'm thinking "we'll see how long this last". Charlotte greets me with a happy bonjour and wants me to look over her work. I oblige her in this 'farce'. I go back to my house to clean up and do yoga...an hour later I hear a scream and Pierre runs to me yelling "Charlotte fell, there's a hole in her head, her eye is bleeding. There is blood!!! There is blood!!!" I quickly go over while thinking "of course there's blood." I'd told her time and time and time again not to play on the veranda in flip flops. The house is on a cliff and is not child friendly or proof by any stretch of the imagination. I get there and can see EXACTLY what happened because blood was everywhere. When I got down to the bottom of the stairs I half expected to see a dead child. I've never seen so much blood in my entire life. How does so much blood come out of a 6 year old!?!??!?! I make sure nothing is broken and try to see what is actually bleeding and I see the hole. I almost pass out because it was like a fountain of blood. I pick her up and take her to the bathroom. She's crying and her brothers are 120% in panick mode and yelling. I tell them to bring me the First aid kit. They tell me "we don't have a first aid kit". I tell them I thought I saw your mom buy it last month when we went shopping. They tell me "oh, she said that wasn't necessary". I roll my eyes say "of course". I start wiping the blood off and see that her eyes are ok and its a slit that 'looks' like a hole and that she probably need stitches or something, but we need to go to see the doctor. I tell Jacques call the neighbors and tell them what happen and they well need to go to the hospital and Pierre to bring me MY little'JOHNSON AND JOHNSON I NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT' FIRST AID KIT. I try to apply pressure with a million little gauzes, but it will not stop bleeding. I ask Jacques for medical information or anything identifying Charlotte so that the hospital will know. He tells me "we don't have anything like that" I look at him and smile and tell him to try and get ahold of tiger mom or dad. He then tells me that Alain is on another flight and its not landed and his mom is in a meeting. Thank God for responsible neighbors. They came and wondered why we can't contact the parents and why they didn't leave the kids information with me...I simply shrug my shoulders and shake my head. We go to a Pharmacy (because you can see a doctor there and tell you what to do) buy some adhesive stips. We then go to another neighbors house(that turned out to be a doctor on vacation) and thought that he could fix Charlotte right up...Nope he couldn't. He did not have his tools. Thats how we ended up in the hospital emergency waiting. The hospital told us that they could not really help or release Charlotte unless a parent called or came to ok her release. Jacques looked at me and said "my mom will never call. she never comes or answers her phone in emergencies". So we wait and wait and wait. Alain, tiger dad, calls and he seems frantic and concerned. He talks to the hospital and sends all the information they needed for Charlotte to get test ran and whatever necessary things you need to do as a parent. 7 hours later tiger mom calls(Jacques said because Alain called her and said that Charlotte has a hole in her head so that was enough of an emergency to call) sounding worried and said that she got a new number (is anyone surprised here?!?!). 9 hours later Charlotte is given instuctions,headache meds, wound cleaners, bandages and all sorts of fun things. We graciously thank the neighbors for all their help. We get back to the house and I carefully throw myself and Charlotte into the bathtub and begin scrubbing all the, now somewhat dried, blood off. I hand wash our blood clothes wishing I had some Tide...because Tide is best known for getting blood out. Still don't know why they advertise that on the box when I was younger, but whatever. Just another Saturday
Before both parents left, I asked them for EMERGENCY contact numbers, where's the hospital, where are the kids IDs and what to do in the event...you know WHEN SHIT GOES DOWN. what are the neighbors info...you know things EVERY PARENT WOULD NORMALLY GIVE YOU WHEN THEY LEAVE THEIR CHILDREN. The response I received is "oh Jacques knows what to do. It will be fine." I asked several more times before they left. I know how stupid kids are, and how they do stupid kid things, because they are...KIDS.
I ask Jacques for details and he says that his mother and tiger dad keep all of their passports and medical information and that he has important phone numbers and I shouldn't worry...I worry
Last night I sent Charlotte to bed without lunch and dinner because she ate her weight in candy and gum and lied about it. She ransacked her brother's room and my room looking for candy (my sore throat cough drops) and anything sweet. Stashed all her newly found booty in her room (family sized jar of Nutella, 2 litters of Lime Schwepps, the list is long) She said that her dad said that she could have them. I have zero tolerance for liers and absolutely disdain for theives. She moved to the top of my SHIT list. She thought I would be like her mom and dad and give in and take her a plate of food or happily accept her apology...ummm NO. I told her that she can have her candy she stole for lunch and dinner. I also told her brothers if they gave her ANYTHING, they would be on the same meal plan as well. We go to bed with no arguments and she cries herself to sleep.
I get up and go to the main house to see the kids. The boys report me that Charlotte got up, ate breakfast, cleaned her room, and was now practicing her alphabet...I'm thinking "we'll see how long this last". Charlotte greets me with a happy bonjour and wants me to look over her work. I oblige her in this 'farce'. I go back to my house to clean up and do yoga...an hour later I hear a scream and Pierre runs to me yelling "Charlotte fell, there's a hole in her head, her eye is bleeding. There is blood!!! There is blood!!!" I quickly go over while thinking "of course there's blood." I'd told her time and time and time again not to play on the veranda in flip flops. The house is on a cliff and is not child friendly or proof by any stretch of the imagination. I get there and can see EXACTLY what happened because blood was everywhere. When I got down to the bottom of the stairs I half expected to see a dead child. I've never seen so much blood in my entire life. How does so much blood come out of a 6 year old!?!??!?! I make sure nothing is broken and try to see what is actually bleeding and I see the hole. I almost pass out because it was like a fountain of blood. I pick her up and take her to the bathroom. She's crying and her brothers are 120% in panick mode and yelling. I tell them to bring me the First aid kit. They tell me "we don't have a first aid kit". I tell them I thought I saw your mom buy it last month when we went shopping. They tell me "oh, she said that wasn't necessary". I roll my eyes say "of course". I start wiping the blood off and see that her eyes are ok and its a slit that 'looks' like a hole and that she probably need stitches or something, but we need to go to see the doctor. I tell Jacques call the neighbors and tell them what happen and they well need to go to the hospital and Pierre to bring me MY little'JOHNSON AND JOHNSON I NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT' FIRST AID KIT. I try to apply pressure with a million little gauzes, but it will not stop bleeding. I ask Jacques for medical information or anything identifying Charlotte so that the hospital will know. He tells me "we don't have anything like that" I look at him and smile and tell him to try and get ahold of tiger mom or dad. He then tells me that Alain is on another flight and its not landed and his mom is in a meeting. Thank God for responsible neighbors. They came and wondered why we can't contact the parents and why they didn't leave the kids information with me...I simply shrug my shoulders and shake my head. We go to a Pharmacy (because you can see a doctor there and tell you what to do) buy some adhesive stips. We then go to another neighbors house(that turned out to be a doctor on vacation) and thought that he could fix Charlotte right up...Nope he couldn't. He did not have his tools. Thats how we ended up in the hospital emergency waiting. The hospital told us that they could not really help or release Charlotte unless a parent called or came to ok her release. Jacques looked at me and said "my mom will never call. she never comes or answers her phone in emergencies". So we wait and wait and wait. Alain, tiger dad, calls and he seems frantic and concerned. He talks to the hospital and sends all the information they needed for Charlotte to get test ran and whatever necessary things you need to do as a parent. 7 hours later tiger mom calls(Jacques said because Alain called her and said that Charlotte has a hole in her head so that was enough of an emergency to call) sounding worried and said that she got a new number (is anyone surprised here?!?!). 9 hours later Charlotte is given instuctions,headache meds, wound cleaners, bandages and all sorts of fun things. We graciously thank the neighbors for all their help. We get back to the house and I carefully throw myself and Charlotte into the bathtub and begin scrubbing all the, now somewhat dried, blood off. I hand wash our blood clothes wishing I had some Tide...because Tide is best known for getting blood out. Still don't know why they advertise that on the box when I was younger, but whatever. Just another Saturday
Aug 10, 2011
So done with Visa procedures and BS
So I got my visa. 3 months, multiple entry...I know ridiculous. I tell Joe and he says "lets get you back to china 1st and we'll figure out the rest when you get here. Keep your calm".Now, I will have to meet Joes "guy" and do what everyone else does and go with the flow when I get back to Shanghai. Joe isn't in Sally Field (Not Without My Daughter) mode so thats a plus.
Reasons I can't keep my calm:
1. I fill out the form and my options
-One entry valid for 3 months from application
-Two entries valid for 3 to 6 months from application
-Multiple entries valid for 6 months from application
-Multiple entries valid for 12 months from application
I of course I chose 12 month...little did I know. I go to the counter and they ask me which one I would like. I point to the one I CHECKED and they say "oh no you can't have that one, you're not a French national". I tell them "ummm ok. I choose door number 3 'Multiple entries valid for 6 months'. He looks at me and says "how about 2 months and 2 entries". I ask him "are we negotiating, do I have that option?" He says the most I can get is 6 months with 2 entries. I tell him "I'll take it". He then tells me "ok, lets try that one" I didn't realize that that discussion was metaphorical. I ended up with 3 months and multiple entries (what wasn't even and option on the application) I swear they make this shit up as they go. Whatever.
I pick up my visa and passport and they don't charge me a processing fee (I didn't ask and I didn't care why. I saved 70Euro in the process)
Another reason I'm not keeping my calm very well...
2. Tiger dad, Alain, tells me that next salary will be less because Hairong deducted the things I bought in Paris from my salary. I told him that the things "I" bought in Paris were paid for BY ME. Alain said that Hairong mention buying me a few clothes and items. I told Alain that she bought those things on her own and how dare...I stopped mid sentence and said "its fine, I will talk to her when she returns to France"(I'm thinking "WTF is wrong with this woman. Did the debt ceiling issue in the State hit her pocket book straight on??!??!!") The nerve of these people. They secretly want me to watch their kids and don't want to compensate for the work I ACTUALLY DO. I'm guessing they're never met anyone from South Dallas, Texas USA. (don't worry, I'm not going to pull the earrings off and go "sista girl" on them yet...I'm keeping my class in tact) I have my visa now so I'm feeling bolder and completely impatient with silly people. Alain gives me this news after Jacques tells me that his mom told him the day before "I really don't want kids.I thought you guys would be able to make me proud, but I was wrong" I thought Jacques was exaggerating but he showed me the email. (mind you in Chinese it sounds 100 times worst then how he simplified it to me in English)
WHO THE HELLS SAYS THIS TO THEIR CHILDREN??!?!?!?
I listen and tell him that maybe she's stressed with work and blah, blah, blah its hard for her too. (I have trouble saying this myself) He looks at me and says "I'm sorry my mom lied to you about many things" I looked at him and gave him a hug and told him he shouldn't apoligize for his mothers behavior. When the hell did my life turn into some Lifetime Original movie? I have no idea what to do with these people.
Tiger dad leaves tomorrow for Germany and he's done with the kids for the summer. Its me and the kids for a few weeks. I've started setting rules for the kids.
*No yelling at each other (no one has tail so don't treat each other like you're animals. Act like a human)
*If you want to eat, you will help (they're in habit of sitting at the table waiting to be served sometimes. I told them "as prince and princess like as you THINK you are, we are all going to work equally"
*Turn the Damn TV off CHARLOTTE (Charlotte is thrown in front of the television whenever tiger mom and dad are too busy or don't care about her performing for them. I told the boys "sit down with her and teach her the alphabet...this is bullshit that she doesn't know that much. I said bullshit so they understood HOW serious I was)
There are about 10 more, but I won't go into too much detail. Most of them are common sense, but they were never taught (especially Miss Charlotte)
“He who teaches children learns more than they do”
-German Proverb
clearly
Reasons I can't keep my calm:
1. I fill out the form and my options
-One entry valid for 3 months from application
-Two entries valid for 3 to 6 months from application
-Multiple entries valid for 6 months from application
-Multiple entries valid for 12 months from application
I of course I chose 12 month...little did I know. I go to the counter and they ask me which one I would like. I point to the one I CHECKED and they say "oh no you can't have that one, you're not a French national". I tell them "ummm ok. I choose door number 3 'Multiple entries valid for 6 months'. He looks at me and says "how about 2 months and 2 entries". I ask him "are we negotiating, do I have that option?" He says the most I can get is 6 months with 2 entries. I tell him "I'll take it". He then tells me "ok, lets try that one" I didn't realize that that discussion was metaphorical. I ended up with 3 months and multiple entries (what wasn't even and option on the application) I swear they make this shit up as they go. Whatever.
I pick up my visa and passport and they don't charge me a processing fee (I didn't ask and I didn't care why. I saved 70Euro in the process)
Another reason I'm not keeping my calm very well...
2. Tiger dad, Alain, tells me that next salary will be less because Hairong deducted the things I bought in Paris from my salary. I told him that the things "I" bought in Paris were paid for BY ME. Alain said that Hairong mention buying me a few clothes and items. I told Alain that she bought those things on her own and how dare...I stopped mid sentence and said "its fine, I will talk to her when she returns to France"(I'm thinking "WTF is wrong with this woman. Did the debt ceiling issue in the State hit her pocket book straight on??!??!!") The nerve of these people. They secretly want me to watch their kids and don't want to compensate for the work I ACTUALLY DO. I'm guessing they're never met anyone from South Dallas, Texas USA. (don't worry, I'm not going to pull the earrings off and go "sista girl" on them yet...I'm keeping my class in tact) I have my visa now so I'm feeling bolder and completely impatient with silly people. Alain gives me this news after Jacques tells me that his mom told him the day before "I really don't want kids.I thought you guys would be able to make me proud, but I was wrong" I thought Jacques was exaggerating but he showed me the email. (mind you in Chinese it sounds 100 times worst then how he simplified it to me in English)
WHO THE HELLS SAYS THIS TO THEIR CHILDREN??!?!?!?
I listen and tell him that maybe she's stressed with work and blah, blah, blah its hard for her too. (I have trouble saying this myself) He looks at me and says "I'm sorry my mom lied to you about many things" I looked at him and gave him a hug and told him he shouldn't apoligize for his mothers behavior. When the hell did my life turn into some Lifetime Original movie? I have no idea what to do with these people.
Tiger dad leaves tomorrow for Germany and he's done with the kids for the summer. Its me and the kids for a few weeks. I've started setting rules for the kids.
*No yelling at each other (no one has tail so don't treat each other like you're animals. Act like a human)
*If you want to eat, you will help (they're in habit of sitting at the table waiting to be served sometimes. I told them "as prince and princess like as you THINK you are, we are all going to work equally"
*Turn the Damn TV off CHARLOTTE (Charlotte is thrown in front of the television whenever tiger mom and dad are too busy or don't care about her performing for them. I told the boys "sit down with her and teach her the alphabet...this is bullshit that she doesn't know that much. I said bullshit so they understood HOW serious I was)
There are about 10 more, but I won't go into too much detail. Most of them are common sense, but they were never taught (especially Miss Charlotte)
“He who teaches children learns more than they do”
-German Proverb
clearly
Aug 5, 2011
“Why is my mom crazy?”
No worries though, I’m still enjoying myself. I’m doing phone interviews (maybe not a good idea) and job/apt searching everyday by the beach. I adjust well to situations and circumstances. It was looking out for number 1 in the beginning and still is.
Aug 3, 2011
UN-BELIEVABLE...or not
I went to the Marseille Chinese consulate and dropped off my 8 page visa application along with, hopefully, EVERY COPY AND LETTER AND ITINIRARY THEY MIGHT NEED. Fingers crossed. Joe thinks it’s all good now, but I will wait til I have it in my hand. I know I’ve said it before, but it is EXTREMELY uncomfortable surrendering your passport to ANYONE. The work hours for this place are T-TH, 9-12. No visa assistance on Thursdays. Also they are not available 11-12 (so you say the hours SHOULD be posted 9 to 11, yeah I agree) I think they consider it lunchtime, but why not go home and eat, SINCE YOU CLOSE AT 12! Whatever. I’m not surprised. The Chinese consulate in Chicago was equally retarded with the ‘work hour’ (literally hour)
Joe called me to tell me that his 9 stitches have been removed and doctors said he’s doing good and “I told you it was nothing” (whatever). He also called to report to me that when he went to pay my phone bill that my balance owed was at 2500RMB (approx 350USD) I laughed (I had Destiny’s Child “Bills, Bills, Bills” in my head all of a sudden. No man has offered to pay my phone bill…EVER) and he asked “what’s funny, I’ve not told you the best part”. He asked me why it was so high. I reminded him that I have a Chinese number that I’m using to call the States and France (seriously not that much or that often) I look at the phone and just THINK about using it and there seems to be a charge. Tiger mom said I can use one of her phones, but I can’t figure out how to dial numbers ANYWHERE (there’s different number combination for dialing every country whether it’s a land line vs. mobile phone, day time rates vs nighttime, what time zone are you in vs the time zone you call. I feel like my dad trying to use the internets. So I gave up. So frustrating.) I asked Joe “you didn’t pay that did you?"He laughs “well, sort of”. He then explains to me how the sales rep at China Unicom told him “that’s too much. Don’t pay that”, after seeing the balance. The rep looks up my account and sees that my SIM card was never registered and Joe tells them my hellish story or trying to send them facsimiles (true damn story) of my information because that was the only way they would register me + my SIM card. The rep asked if I bought it on the street and he told them I had bought it at Best Buy. (thank you Best Buy for leaving China…ugh) The rep laughs and told Joe “since the card was never registered and there are no traces of who the owner is…don’t pay and wait for service to end August 31st. Then get a new SIM card”. I asked Joe if this conversation happened in the back alley and then thought about it “of course, only in China would this happen.” In broad daylight, at the Service Counter of the phone carrier main office. He paid the rep 200RMB (approx 30USD) for the advice (which he happily accept I’m sure). Which turns out was what he thought the phone bill would be.
The private school that I was working hard at to make “international”, contacted me saying “they would love for me to return for the Fall semester teaching when I get MY Visa ISSUE figured out” I could only scream, internally, YOU ARE THE SUPPOSE TO TAKE CARE OF MY VISA ‘ISSUE’. WHAT KIND OF SCHOOL ARE YOU? I did not and will not reply. I got other ‘issue’ to think about.
Unbelievable
News on the home, FRANCE, front:
None. Its been very quiet since Tiger mom left. I’ve not been 100% feeling well, so the kids come to my house when they want to study or bring me their homework. Its like a vacation for us all while mom is away. We’re not on the move NONSTOP. I can rest. I’m trying to get a workout and Chinese lesson daily routine but it seems impossible. Because I am lazy.
Blah.
I need to organize my pics. To show that I was at the Eiffel Tower (I swear this isn't photoshopped...tiger moms camera is crazy) Charlotte likes to give me flowers. We're in a fight and she's calling a truce. Then she took a photo of me with said flower, with extremely chocolatey fingers and proceeds to dropping the camera...Truce off.
~Anne
Joe called me to tell me that his 9 stitches have been removed and doctors said he’s doing good and “I told you it was nothing” (whatever). He also called to report to me that when he went to pay my phone bill that my balance owed was at 2500RMB (approx 350USD) I laughed (I had Destiny’s Child “Bills, Bills, Bills” in my head all of a sudden. No man has offered to pay my phone bill…EVER) and he asked “what’s funny, I’ve not told you the best part”. He asked me why it was so high. I reminded him that I have a Chinese number that I’m using to call the States and France (seriously not that much or that often) I look at the phone and just THINK about using it and there seems to be a charge. Tiger mom said I can use one of her phones, but I can’t figure out how to dial numbers ANYWHERE (there’s different number combination for dialing every country whether it’s a land line vs. mobile phone, day time rates vs nighttime, what time zone are you in vs the time zone you call. I feel like my dad trying to use the internets. So I gave up. So frustrating.) I asked Joe “you didn’t pay that did you?"He laughs “well, sort of”. He then explains to me how the sales rep at China Unicom told him “that’s too much. Don’t pay that”, after seeing the balance. The rep looks up my account and sees that my SIM card was never registered and Joe tells them my hellish story or trying to send them facsimiles (true damn story) of my information because that was the only way they would register me + my SIM card. The rep asked if I bought it on the street and he told them I had bought it at Best Buy. (thank you Best Buy for leaving China…ugh) The rep laughs and told Joe “since the card was never registered and there are no traces of who the owner is…don’t pay and wait for service to end August 31st. Then get a new SIM card”. I asked Joe if this conversation happened in the back alley and then thought about it “of course, only in China would this happen.” In broad daylight, at the Service Counter of the phone carrier main office. He paid the rep 200RMB (approx 30USD) for the advice (which he happily accept I’m sure). Which turns out was what he thought the phone bill would be.
The private school that I was working hard at to make “international”, contacted me saying “they would love for me to return for the Fall semester teaching when I get MY Visa ISSUE figured out” I could only scream, internally, YOU ARE THE SUPPOSE TO TAKE CARE OF MY VISA ‘ISSUE’. WHAT KIND OF SCHOOL ARE YOU? I did not and will not reply. I got other ‘issue’ to think about.
Unbelievable
News on the home, FRANCE, front:
None. Its been very quiet since Tiger mom left. I’ve not been 100% feeling well, so the kids come to my house when they want to study or bring me their homework. Its like a vacation for us all while mom is away. We’re not on the move NONSTOP. I can rest. I’m trying to get a workout and Chinese lesson daily routine but it seems impossible. Because I am lazy.
Blah.
I need to organize my pics. To show that I was at the Eiffel Tower (I swear this isn't photoshopped...tiger moms camera is crazy) Charlotte likes to give me flowers. We're in a fight and she's calling a truce. Then she took a photo of me with said flower, with extremely chocolatey fingers and proceeds to dropping the camera...Truce off.
~Anne
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)