Options and taking another step.

In the wake of the company I'm working for filing for bankruptcy, and perhaps my soon to be unemployment, my scope of options "seem" good. I happily spoke with a guy from the Teachers of English to Foreign Languages (TEFL). We had a nice long chat about the places I could work overseas if/when I get this teaching certificate. I could do an online course for 2 months with 20 in class hours...

As much as I fuss about not wanting to teach, I think getting myself in the door is whats most important right now. The nice fellow even offered to put me on a payment plan and seemed to really willing to work with me. I'm guessing my story was compelling enough to get him excited. (I'd like to believe that I have that affect on people. I'm sure its not true.hahahahahaha)

So Plan B...

Get teaching certificate, move to Korea (they pay more it seems; health insurance, living expenses, wages, etc. Still researching and its a ferry ride from Japan), sublet Phoenix Lounge to Eliz for a year (if she finds a job here), decide my next move after that...just to start.

I have a Plan C thru DDD, but no need to go into details. Any comments or suggestions would be greatly appreciated on any or all above.

What Else...

People should get paid to look for a job. I've been staring at the computer for 3 hours now and I've found 5 semi-decent jobs. I had not counted on dealing with unemployment in my YOTB.

Alas, c'est la vie. I'm not unemployed JUST yet, but I was told (along with the entire company) that bankruptcy is imminent. I am looking into independent study programs overseas now and I've sent off my application to a few teaching (ugh) positions in Japan. It will be fine. I need to be more malleable with my choices. No limiting myself!!!!!

I just got back from Dallas visiting the fam. I've acquired two amazing new fBook friends that I'm soooooo happy to have found. My cousins Adrian and her daughter Daphne. I love them so much and have missed so much of their lives. Its ok though...its all about going forward.

We've been communicating nonstop since I left Dallas...so so so so happy.

Somehow I managed to make it to the gym while in that hot state. I'm not sure, but I think I even left without gaining 20 lbs (which is usual)

Sidenote...

So I reach and surpassed my goal of losing more inches before I went to Dallas.

(13 inches to be exact *pats herself on her back*)

I was happy with myself I must say. But little did I know that it would

be broadcasted in the gym on a lil something they called "Wall of Fame".

As proud and motivating as that idea is...why must they put such details on the

wall. I don't have any hangups with it, but come on. Anyway, its there and its a positive reminder of my present body and future body (thanks Leen for that)

I will be pushing my cardio now.

I'm still trying to find the balance, but I've narrowed down my focus to legs and stomach.

Long-term goal, which was brought to my attention that I was missing by my mom, to be a size 10-12.

Getting healthy is the ultimate goal, but I didn't think about narrowing the focus to a point where all I need to do is maintain. Mom you're a genius.

Anyway that's where I am now.

Btw the pic is of my sis and dad staring longingly at the Grand Canyon (it was posed no worries, my sis thinks she's Annie Leibovitz its cool)

I see the light in the tunnel, but its dim....

I just finished eating a large thin slice of pizza. It was very good. The perfect ending to a long day at work, an exhausting workout, and a target trip.

I'm to a point where I feel like I'm making what I'm doing a habit. My goal seems to be almost met...then I looked in a mirror. I don't usually watch myself in the mirror during class. I keep my eyes on the instructor lady. For some reason I watched myself today and thought "man I am fat". I thought maybe it was my boobs, but no. My legs are huge, my arms have wings and the list goes on.

I started deconstructing myself and thinking, "what did I look like before, what did I look like when I moved to Chicago, how did I get like this?" I left class 10mins before it ended and started working on the weights. I somehow found myself really funny. I'm lifting and laughing. I realized at that moment that none of that mattered. I'm the me right now and I'm sticking to "going forward". I like that I can laugh at myself when I take myself too serious.