Its been a week since Anne has returned and it doesn't seem real. Joe calls/skypes/txt msgs me to stay positive and tells me to take my time figuring out my next step. Thats nice and all but...
Before I left Shanghai I got my yearly day planner, organized what I would do when I touched down in the States, and made all these wonderful plans to conquer the world and be awesome and great and blah, blah, blah.
Its come to my attention, in the last few days, that there were factors I did not calculate in my "coming home to regroup" plan.
1. I've not lived in Dallas in over 11 years.
2. Chicago feels more home to me than Texas.
3. I hate being in a city where you HAVE to drive and rely 85% on your car and be in traffic
4. I left Dallas for reason, I must have forgotten
5. Losing motivation and wanting to hide in the house (no car, no money, no job) is all I feel like doing.
6. I cannot fast forward to the part where I've figured everything out.
I've slowly started feeling more comfortable about being social and attempting to see people. I saw some of my favorite cousins that I've not seen in awhile and that made me very happy. I've gone to the movies with my sister ran errands with my dad.
I believe this adjusting thing is taking longer than I expected.
My favorite reaction from the few people I've met up with is "What are you doing back here?". I laughed it off the first few times. But after Vanessa asked me the same question, I started thinking "what AM I DOING BACK HERE?" Then a rush of my past year and half come rolling back and I am quickly reminded that "oh, I needed a damn break from China"...
So I'm just taking it slowly now. Slow motion is better than no motion, but I won't confuse my direction with my pace. I am going forward.
Jan 28, 2012
Jan 17, 2012
Change of Pace and Bidet heaven
Headed to Tokyo for a very small blitz. It was full of extremely helpful and kind organized people. I stayed at a manga internet cafe for manga reading, free beverage drinking, shower and a little sleep. I kept getting lost on the subway and random people pointed me in the right direction countless times. 3 temples,
Shinjuku (Champs-Elysees meets SOHO), Akihabaraa (Times Square NY on crack), Harujuku (speakless), Kabukicho (most interesting redlight district...EVER) real ramen (OMG), sushi.
I sadly didn't get to meet up with anyone I wanted to, due to my lack of a telephone and my lack of having a sense of direction...ugh
Basically a big sampler...I definitely will come back with a bigger budget and more time
Just as everyone suspected I LOVE TOKYO (what little I saw) I love how clean and organized and pleasant it was.
Now to San Fran.
Shinjuku (Champs-Elysees meets SOHO), Akihabaraa (Times Square NY on crack), Harujuku (speakless), Kabukicho (most interesting redlight district...EVER) real ramen (OMG), sushi.
I sadly didn't get to meet up with anyone I wanted to, due to my lack of a telephone and my lack of having a sense of direction...ugh
Basically a big sampler...I definitely will come back with a bigger budget and more time
Just as everyone suspected I LOVE TOKYO (what little I saw) I love how clean and organized and pleasant it was.
Now to San Fran.
Jan 15, 2012
Bye bye
After 16 days of reading in my room, meeting unusual/special/interesting people in the hostel, Joe came and picked me up. He said “I got an apt in Shanghai (he'd moved to a “suburb” of Shanghai because of work) and "we can spend your last week together". I was just fine with this because I have seriously checked out of China and just want some relief or a break from it. Anne is tired.
He cooked, I zoned out and happily accepted the princess treatment and sadly counted the days til I leave this guy and China. All of a sudden it was time to leave. At the airport Joe told me he missed me already, that this isn't good-bye because he's just sending me ahead. He was proud of me for not crying. (apparently he was ready with tissues for me to make a scene...does he even now me. good grief)
Anne's heading home
He cooked, I zoned out and happily accepted the princess treatment and sadly counted the days til I leave this guy and China. All of a sudden it was time to leave. At the airport Joe told me he missed me already, that this isn't good-bye because he's just sending me ahead. He was proud of me for not crying. (apparently he was ready with tissues for me to make a scene...does he even now me. good grief)
Anne's heading home
Jan 7, 2012
“I like you perm”
An ayi on the street told me this when I was having a big curly hair day. China weather is not ideal for my hair most of the time and I couldn't begin to explain to this woman that this was in no way, shape or form a perm on my head...good grief.
Day 10 in hilarious hostel...
The front desk people now bring me sugar for my coffee without me asking, know my first name, and ask when my boyfriend will visit again because they like that he can speak Chinese and they think he's handsome (seriously grown Chinese men blush when they see Joe. I don't understand it. I tell him not to get use to that...). Joe pops into town from work every few days or so to make sure I am fed and packing and have not killed anyone.
This is my life.
I've watched many people come into the hostel bright-eyed and naive about moving to China and wanting to live here and excited and completely unaware of how things work here. I wondered if I looked like this to anyone when I arrived...probably. People ask me what I'm doing here and I just say, “stuff and things”. I don't want to start telling my “ridiculous china story”. I'll just recommend they buy the book and do just the opposite of what I did.
One of the many roommates that have passed through the hostel asked me how old I was. I told her I was 33. I later stopped and did the math and realized that I'm 32. There is no reason for me to push things along and when did I become so bad at math. I don't even have hangups with my age. It seems the older I get the less interested I am about my age. Its very strange to think that “I'm in my 30s”.
So at the lovely age of 32, I will finally see Japan (albeit a very little of it with a 24hr layover). I will be blitzing through Tokyo on a budget of $0. Much like my China move, I will play it by ear. After that, its off to Dallas. Only place, for now, that I can actually go decompress, work on books AND be poor AND be unemployed for a minute.
Since I've mentally checked out of China, I go to the local cafes and look for jobs online and think of ways to do business. I'm not even trying to upload or work on my book here anymore. I go to upload somewhere or download some software for editing...Boom, crash. Something goes wrong. Its not in the stars for me to finish it up here. I will probably have better luck on the plane back to the States or something. I will not stress about it.
Currently I have 4 students that are pretty consistent about canceling, rescheduling, or no showing for classes. Whatever. I still enjoy my Balluff VP business English student. In our last class we discussed how he read research about how all humans originated from Africa by a Japanese scientist. (the fact the he is reading and really respects a Japanese scientist speaks volumes about him, because so many Chinese HATE Japanese people)
It was a very interesting conversation. Our many conversations have opened my eyes to the a more promising positive China that 'could be'. I asked him if he's very popular with his friends and he replies “no, not when I speak of these subjects and how “民主“ min zhu (democracy) will be the only way China can be prosperous”. I grin at him uncomfortably thinking, “easy tiger, lets wait til I leave before you start an uprising. Am not trying to step on government toes”
Even if this is one mans opinion, I think its representative of many here. This is a super capitalist country that is exploding with growth due to the fact that they are running before they can walk as far as development goes. In my honest opinion.
Current goals are packing and leaving. (packing seems to be the hardest thing EVER)
Motto this year “Realistic goal setting and step taking”
Day 10 in hilarious hostel...
The front desk people now bring me sugar for my coffee without me asking, know my first name, and ask when my boyfriend will visit again because they like that he can speak Chinese and they think he's handsome (seriously grown Chinese men blush when they see Joe. I don't understand it. I tell him not to get use to that...). Joe pops into town from work every few days or so to make sure I am fed and packing and have not killed anyone.
This is my life.
I've watched many people come into the hostel bright-eyed and naive about moving to China and wanting to live here and excited and completely unaware of how things work here. I wondered if I looked like this to anyone when I arrived...probably. People ask me what I'm doing here and I just say, “stuff and things”. I don't want to start telling my “ridiculous china story”. I'll just recommend they buy the book and do just the opposite of what I did.
One of the many roommates that have passed through the hostel asked me how old I was. I told her I was 33. I later stopped and did the math and realized that I'm 32. There is no reason for me to push things along and when did I become so bad at math. I don't even have hangups with my age. It seems the older I get the less interested I am about my age. Its very strange to think that “I'm in my 30s”.
So at the lovely age of 32, I will finally see Japan (albeit a very little of it with a 24hr layover). I will be blitzing through Tokyo on a budget of $0. Much like my China move, I will play it by ear. After that, its off to Dallas. Only place, for now, that I can actually go decompress, work on books AND be poor AND be unemployed for a minute.
Since I've mentally checked out of China, I go to the local cafes and look for jobs online and think of ways to do business. I'm not even trying to upload or work on my book here anymore. I go to upload somewhere or download some software for editing...Boom, crash. Something goes wrong. Its not in the stars for me to finish it up here. I will probably have better luck on the plane back to the States or something. I will not stress about it.
Currently I have 4 students that are pretty consistent about canceling, rescheduling, or no showing for classes. Whatever. I still enjoy my Balluff VP business English student. In our last class we discussed how he read research about how all humans originated from Africa by a Japanese scientist. (the fact the he is reading and really respects a Japanese scientist speaks volumes about him, because so many Chinese HATE Japanese people)
It was a very interesting conversation. Our many conversations have opened my eyes to the a more promising positive China that 'could be'. I asked him if he's very popular with his friends and he replies “no, not when I speak of these subjects and how “民主“ min zhu (democracy) will be the only way China can be prosperous”. I grin at him uncomfortably thinking, “easy tiger, lets wait til I leave before you start an uprising. Am not trying to step on government toes”
Even if this is one mans opinion, I think its representative of many here. This is a super capitalist country that is exploding with growth due to the fact that they are running before they can walk as far as development goes. In my honest opinion.
Current goals are packing and leaving. (packing seems to be the hardest thing EVER)
Motto this year “Realistic goal setting and step taking”
Jan 1, 2012
Last post of the 2011
Although I had planned to be very diligent about posting and updating, there just wasn't much to say. I've moved into a hostel in Shanghai. I don't want to stay in a slumlord type place where I can't really use the restroom or feel like I'm in a closet (plus the sublet was up and finding short term seemed impossible) I like the hostel and its hot rooms and nice and clean duvets, it makes me feel like I'm on holiday. The characters are special and unique per usual in the ladies dorm. Many chinese come to hostels from other cities to stay during the week and go home on the weekends. Very interesting dynamic.
There is an older lady (52 but looks 30 of course) that has "family problems" and is staying in the hostel for a month. Everyone wants to know her story, but none of use can get any info from her. There was a German girl thats here just to get away from everything in Germany, some girls that are illegally teaching in Beijing and looking to come to Shanghai to work. They are blonde hair and blue eyed and love kids. I told them that they would not have any trouble for sure. We've gone to breakfast and hungout a little. I realize how old I am when I hang around 20 somethings...MY GOD. I feel ancient around these creatures.
They wanted me to go out with them for NYE and I had to decline. They took 4 hours to decide what to wear, 2 hours to get ready. They looked great and I somehow ended up helping them get ready (hair pinning, blush applying, accessory and accent decision making (i.e. "is the tiara too much?", "yes, honey") I think this is what its like to send your kids to prom or something. I took their pictures and sent them off. I made some tea and pulled out my laptop. This is better than loud bar, crowed place, spending money I don't have.
Joe is in West China for a week...boo hoo so few students to teach (now the girl that let me use her room has returned) I will miss Benz and a few others. So all my work in Dec will probably all go to a flight home...
We shall see.
I'm attempting to work with a German couple that makes and sells fitness apparel and want to do business in China. I'm not telling them I'm leaving Shanghai and will try to use contacts here (Joe) to help make some money. We'll see. So much money can be made here it just take A LOT of patience. I'm accepting the fact that I'm starting from scratch when I return to Dallas, but I've got many ideas of things I want to do.
So long dangerous ill-mannered pushing crowds, so long strange life prioritizing people, so long inefficient way of doing EVERYTHING, good bye to the yelling, good bye to squatting toliets (I still have not mastered how to use them while wearing pants)...the list goes on
Lets see what next in 2012
There is an older lady (52 but looks 30 of course) that has "family problems" and is staying in the hostel for a month. Everyone wants to know her story, but none of use can get any info from her. There was a German girl thats here just to get away from everything in Germany, some girls that are illegally teaching in Beijing and looking to come to Shanghai to work. They are blonde hair and blue eyed and love kids. I told them that they would not have any trouble for sure. We've gone to breakfast and hungout a little. I realize how old I am when I hang around 20 somethings...MY GOD. I feel ancient around these creatures.
They wanted me to go out with them for NYE and I had to decline. They took 4 hours to decide what to wear, 2 hours to get ready. They looked great and I somehow ended up helping them get ready (hair pinning, blush applying, accessory and accent decision making (i.e. "is the tiara too much?", "yes, honey") I think this is what its like to send your kids to prom or something. I took their pictures and sent them off. I made some tea and pulled out my laptop. This is better than loud bar, crowed place, spending money I don't have.
Joe is in West China for a week...boo hoo so few students to teach (now the girl that let me use her room has returned) I will miss Benz and a few others. So all my work in Dec will probably all go to a flight home...
We shall see.
I'm attempting to work with a German couple that makes and sells fitness apparel and want to do business in China. I'm not telling them I'm leaving Shanghai and will try to use contacts here (Joe) to help make some money. We'll see. So much money can be made here it just take A LOT of patience. I'm accepting the fact that I'm starting from scratch when I return to Dallas, but I've got many ideas of things I want to do.
So long dangerous ill-mannered pushing crowds, so long strange life prioritizing people, so long inefficient way of doing EVERYTHING, good bye to the yelling, good bye to squatting toliets (I still have not mastered how to use them while wearing pants)...the list goes on
Lets see what next in 2012
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