Pretty package

Contrary to popular belief, I'm not the perfectly (you what know what I mean) put together person I thought I was...well according to some folks here anyway. I'm becoming more and more nostalgic of the events that occurred this time last year. Nervous as hell moving to another country, looking for a job, worrying about visas, housing, money...blah, blah, blah. Sound familiar. Well it should, because its “China Headache 2: the Remix” I'm wondering every single day whats the point and I am quickly reminded that this is “a once in a lifetime experience”. I need to take advantage of this chance. That's that.
I just got off the phone with one of the 12 agents that have made it some sort of fun challenge to get the Black American a job. Bradley, is his name, told me that he's sending ME a copy of MY “augmented CV” for me to start using and sending out. He told me he “fixed it” and made it “worth” looking at. He requested I find a picture of myself with some white people to send out. (how I wish I was joking) I should preface this with the fact that Bradley is a midwestern looking white guy from Cincinnati and has been in Asia for over 3 years. So know that FOR SURE, he is my favorite agent helping me look for a job. He knows EXACTLY how ridiculous he sounds to me when he requests ABSURD things from me (i.e. pics with 1 or 2 white people in a classroom type setting) He gets more upset about my rejections, due to skin color issue (if you get my drift) than I do and he seems to be very honest about everything I ask him about. For example, I've called him about job postings I've seen or heard about to see if he could do some re-con on...he replies “I'm on it” or “well the thing about that place is...”
Even if Bradley doesn't find me a job, its good to have someone on my side. He reminds me often, that I CANNOT take this personal. My friends here all seem confident that I will find something because I'm American, but I don't think many of them understand that I am not the pretty packaged “American” that’s wanted sometimes. If I had the funding, I'm sure I could do a very interesting Sociological Experiment/Research on this, but alas no market or real interest for that here. Which has bought me to another realization. Mental hygiene isn't an easy industry to push in China. Attempting to life coach to prideful, arrogant, rich, infallible human beings seems crazy. The more people I see as potential clients for my wonderful life changing idea/program...the more I see attempted murder cases on my hand. You can't change peoples value systems and I would never never want to try. But if you value “winning” and “boasting” about how much power you have and what you HAVE...you are a lost cause from jumpstreet.
I want to help people find ways to get more out of life than the material factors. I want people to see that quality can be more profound than quantity...Bootleg central is not ideal for this little experiment. I need to think more on how I can/will achieve what I want.

Until next time...

always Anne with and 'e'

A more positive post...for crying out loud.

So I've made an appointment with this publisher guy friend of Joe's named Miller. I met him last year and because I'm slow didn't think to consult him or try asking for his assistance or some guidance for book publishing. So we'll see.

I will not have anymore "damn Joe" complaining post. I probably will never understand him so I will stop trying. He's doing outpatient treatment for his stomach and says he's fine. He just keeps saying "you told me to take care of myself and that my condition isn't good...". Who throws words back at people like that. 5 year olds, thats who. I told him "don't complain if I disappear. I will probably be too busy finding myself to bother letting you know" He looks at me like he's disappointed...hilarious. I agree with my friend Sam, I SHOULD BE GETTING PAID FOR THE WORK I do in this relationship. Whatever

I've learned that the queen, chinese french national (God yes I know, another one) of the ifa (fashion school I interviewed with) doesn't like females under 24 or anyone born under the year of the monkey sign. I feel my chances are good. I am 32 and born under the goat sign. Let's pray she's not crazy....

what am I missing

So apparently Anne might not be cut out for relationships...period. Joe is currently in the hospital being watched by a doctor. I've only been back 14 days and Joe came back from a 2daywork trip (which I suggested (told) him not to go because he wasn't looking well) feeling awful. He's visibly loss MORE weight and has zero energy. He goes to a few doctors, they give him medicine and he sort of takes it. Then complains of nothing working. We argue when I tell him that he's not taking care of himself and then he goes missing for 3 days. I got a text message from him, after I've tried calling a few times, saying "I can't use the phone while I'm staying in the hospital. YOU told me that I needed to take better care of myself...so thats what I'm doing". UNBELIEVEABLE...I would almost prefer him cheating. BECAUSE THAT WOULD MAKE MORE SENSE TO ME. Am I missing something? Can guys really be that worried about looking weak? Could something be really wrong and he doesn't want to tell me...ugh. I don't like this. I've been looking at the cost tickets back to the States versus buying a Visa through an agent. No jobs here, definitely no jobs there, its making my head hurt. France truly costed me more than I realized, but I'm trying very hard to look at the bright side. I need to find a gym and sauna...

I have the worst memory

Joe finds me a very good place in Shanghai with a nice Chinese guy named David. He is always out of town. I met him on the 6th day I was back, then he left again. While he was around we chatted about Chicago and his 14 years living there and all over the US. I wonder if Joe knew I needed this little piece of home after the crazy summer I had...

Now I am once again looking for work in the good old PRC (Peoples Republic of China) I've interviewed with a few places and like usual...I just wait. I am putting together the pieces of what might be a book that I was able to put together this summer. We'll see.

France...the conclusion.

Of course I couldn't calmly and quietly leave Paris without just ONE more dinner party and MORE DRAMA. Hairong ask (told) Agnes to inform me that I was expected at a dinner party my last night in France.

*backstory* Hairong boasted and bragged about having a young American companion to some potential business partners earlier this summer and long story short...she couldn't lose face and say "oh that American hates me or she's dead" (I would've been fine with either of those excuses)


Agnes said that I should go and meet some interesting people, maybe get some contacts for...well you never know. Afer some coaxing I thought why not go for a nice free meal and make the best of my last night here. I'm so glad I did. Considering I was in the hole financially from Hairong's manic episode (train ticket back to Paris plus a number of other expenses that she was SUPPOSE to take care of) I thought why not go make her terribly uncomfortable and see the boys one last time. Agnes agrees to go with me so that she could see the boys too. We show up and Hairong is quiet and not very responsive. She looks visibly sad. Jacques comes to me and said that they were visiting graves all day while his mom fought with Alain on the phone. I asked him what happened and I regretted it the moment I asked. Please follow if you can...

Hairong comes to Paris and stays with her ex-fiance Stephan (don't ask me why) or at some 5 star hotel. She doesn't usually take the kids to Paris with her and leave them with Agnes or in Normandy or Toulon. I think she likes to play single, children free lady from time to time...
Hairong's ex-fiance, Stephan, got a call from Alain's ex-wife saying "my son is coming to stay with you and Hairong until its time for all of them to fly back to Shanghai." Alain didn't want to pay for a hotel for HIS son and gave HIS ex-wife Hairong ex-finace's phone number...then turned off ALL 4 of his phones. Hairong flipped out when Alain's son showed up at Stephans front door ready to be boarded and fed. Alain finally turned on one of his phones and the argument begin. Jacques said by the end of the conversation, Alain told Hairong "I'm only with you for you money". Hairong said that he needed to be gone by the time they got back to Shanghai and that he needs to take Charlotte with him. "She's your child". I asked Pierre and Jacques if they were alright, they said its whatever. Apparently Hairong and Alisha got into an argument too because Hairong didn't call to cancel dinner plans they made at some really nice restaurant and they were suppose to take all the kids to see a show. Alisha tol her "don't make plans if you can't follow through". So Pierre's ticket out of that places was burned. I mingle the rest of the night and met some really interesting people that did not JUST talk about themselves. I exchange phone numbers and they insisted that I give them a call next time I'm in France or Italy or wherever the hell they were from. I was very proud of my networking. I did not speak to Hairong once. Agnes and I left the party around midnight with one of the older gentlemen that I think might be interested in her *wink wink* he brought us home and I started to pack for my flight the next day. 2am rolls around and there is a knock at the door. Its Pierre and Jacques. Their mom dropped them off at Agnes' apt. Jacques said he was soh sorry and that thier mom had to take care of some business and didn't want to put them in a hotel. Agnes looks at them and shakes her head and goes to make a bed for them. Their flight was 10 in the morning and they had been dragged around by their mother the last 3 or 4 days. Jacques gave me a bag for my extra luggage his mother gave him and said that their mom would be by to pick them up at 9.

I look at Agnes and say "I'm sorry". She smiles and says "thats how she is and she seems to be getting worst" We all sleep and I make the boys a big breakfast of baked egg,tomato, cheese crossaint sandwiches at 7. Hairong calls Agnes and tells her to BRING the boys to Stephan's place instead, because "she has so much to deal with right now, there isn't enough time to go get the boys" Agnes hangs up and says "I knew that would happen" So all get in Agnes' car and drive over. The boys go up and come back down to tell us that thier mom isn't coming down and that she said bye. I start laughing and I give them big hugs and tell them to email IF THEY can and that I'm sorry I couldn't help them more. Agnes and I drive away and she says "she could've come down to say thank you, damn bitch" All I can do is laugh and laugh. Agnes starts laughing too saying "what ridiculous people"

I spent the day visiting the Lourve and a few other museums, walking around really seeing the city. I don't dislike it as much now for some reason. Agnes took me to the airport that night and told me with a big smile on her face "you know where the key is, come see me and all the friends you made last night again". I told her that I couldn't thank her enough and that I would most certainly come back. I have to get this bad taste/experience of France out of my mouth." We hug and I go to check my bags and find out I'm flying business first class. I laughed at this because I think Hairong forgot to change it when she got pissed off at me. Whatever. I sat next to a really pretty Chinese lady that lives in Paris and spoke an interesting British english with a french/chinese accent. We talked about yoga, government, her life and friends. How she went to Hermes to buy her friend a bag and they told her that its a year long wait for that bag. She explained asked the salesperson "you want me to pay 25,000euro to wait for a bag that will be out of season when I get it?!?! I don't think so" (i really wished she'd follow it up with a homey don't play that) She said that she bought her friend Channel for a year and that she better with happy with that. She bought up everything from the duty free cart on the plane. She told me "its easier to buy in the air, less luggage for you AND they will keep it for you so that you don't have to keep up with it" I laughed at her and agreed.

The flight seemed short and we were suddenly in Shanghai. Joe met me at the airport. He had a very big grin on his face and gave me a big hug and said "Welcome back to Shanghai, it missed you". I smiled and said I missed it too.

Anne's back in China