Leaving alot of BS behind in 09, and will not do it again in 2010...

So its been a year since I started down this path of "self improvement". I've made progress but it feels like an up hill battle at this point. My resolve is unwavering and determination seems even stronger. I'm so thankful for everyone that helped me last year with words of encouragement and support. I look forward to having the continued support and guidance this year as well.

After 1 year of serious workout, these are my results...

I've lost 25 lbs, about 30 inches total all round, gone down 3 sizes.
It doesn't seem like much, but its something. I've been told at the gym by ladies that haven't seen me in awhile that I look like I've lost a lot. That's encouraging because I feel like these small strides are not enough. Especially since I've become obsessed with getting rid of my thighs.
I tried on a size 12 dress and nearly cried in the dressing room, because I could wear it. (I'm becoming an overly emotional girl. NOOOOOO!!!!)

Although the "marathon" is still going and I've not reached the end, my choices and behavior with getting healthier, working out and being aware of the things around me have become 2nd nature. Which was my ultimate goal. I'm somehow still employed for the time being, but still in search of other options for employment. I'm aiming to start the English teaching certification in a month. Focus now it savings, and deciding exactly where to teach English.

I'm doing a detox/diet for the next 28 days with some coworkers. I'm not expecting to lose weight, but to eat "cleaner". No processed foods, meats, diary, oils. It sounds impossible, but I will manage somehow.

2010 focus "... Taking the Next Steps"
Its necessary to have Plan B thru Z, but I'm ready to jump feet first if need be. (within reason anyway)My obstacles are not problems, but opportunities for me to see what I'm made of.

I have to remember not to mistake life's caution signs for stop signs. I must look both ways and keep going.


Dfo

YOTB coming to a close

So I've not posted updates mainly because there are none.

I'm still excercising and pushing myself. Maybe I'm around a size 12 or 14 now. I've sworn off measuring... I mean it this time.

Not much progress, but not giving up or being too obsessed about it.

My attention is focused on preparing to go overseas now. Passport in mail (it would be nice if they'd hurry up and process the damn thing)

I've met someone to practice Japanese with. Two days a week and I feel like I've got lots of work to do. The challenges I decide to take on seem like huge upheavals.

Getting healthy, moving far from friends and family with NO money or real understanding of how this is actually going to work...

I think I've recently realized how lonesome it can be without the ex and frustrating not being able to talk to someone about everything. I feel like I have to go to 4 different people to talk about specific things and still feel like I'm at a lost sometimes. I'm still figuring it out. I don't miss my ex, but we had a lot more in common than I realized. Oh well.

Maybe I'm still adjusting to the idea of "its all up to you by yourself". I have no qualms with doing this, but its tiring.

Enough of the pity party. Moving on.

I'm getting ready for the fall and Kim plans. I've got hockey games to go to, some symphonys to see, some bingo tango to participate in and overseas moving to plan!!!!

I'm looking forward to some Thanksgiving with K/V in NYC!!!

Well I'm hoping to post again before next year...

I'm thinking YOTB II-->The Remix (Getting From Here to There) as a title for the next blog!?!?!

Anyway I'm out.....

*BTW enjoy my pic at the Art Institute. Devin loves to call me up and go to museums randomly.

Patience...is a virtue?

Ok. No whiny post this time....

Just simple statements:

Goal 20 inches lost by Dec!!!
Not sure how or by what miracle, but I will do this.

I think 20 inches will put me somewhere around a size 10 for my shape.
So in actuality a 12.

I skipped the gym today. But I am doing the super hero's workout at home.
Breaking a sweat isn't hard, the pushing myself part is.

I have to not get discouraged and frustrated...

KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON

A guy at work has this posted on his cubicle and I laugh at it, but in reality I need that reminder when I'm at my wits end.

I seem to be in limbo with work. Its fine, it will be fine.
As I get older, I understand very cliches sayings more and more
"Don't sweat the small stuff".
Its that simple...don't sweat it. If its out of your control, you can't control it.

Why are simple things made complex so often.

Cause we are all crazy.

This Marathon Sucks...but I'm Not Giving Up

As I sit at work wondering how much more UMLER fixing I can take, I'm debating whether or not to go to the gym twice today or not. I was down for the count and extremely sore yesterday because of Wednesdays PiYo class. I'm sure its great and all that I'm pushing myself, but how much pain does one take to gain.

I am patiently waiting to hear about the demise of my company. Its a strange and numb feeling to wait for your walking papers. I'm a little anxious for this to be swift kick in the butt that I need. I have so many plans and things I want to "when I become unemployed". I'm counting my chicken before they hatch and I'm ok with it.

I do thank everyone thats supporting and encouraging me on this roller coaster ride.

Options and taking another step.

In the wake of the company I'm working for filing for bankruptcy, and perhaps my soon to be unemployment, my scope of options "seem" good. I happily spoke with a guy from the Teachers of English to Foreign Languages (TEFL). We had a nice long chat about the places I could work overseas if/when I get this teaching certificate. I could do an online course for 2 months with 20 in class hours...

As much as I fuss about not wanting to teach, I think getting myself in the door is whats most important right now. The nice fellow even offered to put me on a payment plan and seemed to really willing to work with me. I'm guessing my story was compelling enough to get him excited. (I'd like to believe that I have that affect on people. I'm sure its not true.hahahahahaha)

So Plan B...

Get teaching certificate, move to Korea (they pay more it seems; health insurance, living expenses, wages, etc. Still researching and its a ferry ride from Japan), sublet Phoenix Lounge to Eliz for a year (if she finds a job here), decide my next move after that...just to start.

I have a Plan C thru DDD, but no need to go into details. Any comments or suggestions would be greatly appreciated on any or all above.

What Else...

People should get paid to look for a job. I've been staring at the computer for 3 hours now and I've found 5 semi-decent jobs. I had not counted on dealing with unemployment in my YOTB.

Alas, c'est la vie. I'm not unemployed JUST yet, but I was told (along with the entire company) that bankruptcy is imminent. I am looking into independent study programs overseas now and I've sent off my application to a few teaching (ugh) positions in Japan. It will be fine. I need to be more malleable with my choices. No limiting myself!!!!!

I just got back from Dallas visiting the fam. I've acquired two amazing new fBook friends that I'm soooooo happy to have found. My cousins Adrian and her daughter Daphne. I love them so much and have missed so much of their lives. Its ok though...its all about going forward.

We've been communicating nonstop since I left Dallas...so so so so happy.

Somehow I managed to make it to the gym while in that hot state. I'm not sure, but I think I even left without gaining 20 lbs (which is usual)

Sidenote...

So I reach and surpassed my goal of losing more inches before I went to Dallas.

(13 inches to be exact *pats herself on her back*)

I was happy with myself I must say. But little did I know that it would

be broadcasted in the gym on a lil something they called "Wall of Fame".

As proud and motivating as that idea is...why must they put such details on the

wall. I don't have any hangups with it, but come on. Anyway, its there and its a positive reminder of my present body and future body (thanks Leen for that)

I will be pushing my cardio now.

I'm still trying to find the balance, but I've narrowed down my focus to legs and stomach.

Long-term goal, which was brought to my attention that I was missing by my mom, to be a size 10-12.

Getting healthy is the ultimate goal, but I didn't think about narrowing the focus to a point where all I need to do is maintain. Mom you're a genius.

Anyway that's where I am now.

Btw the pic is of my sis and dad staring longingly at the Grand Canyon (it was posed no worries, my sis thinks she's Annie Leibovitz its cool)

I see the light in the tunnel, but its dim....

I just finished eating a large thin slice of pizza. It was very good. The perfect ending to a long day at work, an exhausting workout, and a target trip.

I'm to a point where I feel like I'm making what I'm doing a habit. My goal seems to be almost met...then I looked in a mirror. I don't usually watch myself in the mirror during class. I keep my eyes on the instructor lady. For some reason I watched myself today and thought "man I am fat". I thought maybe it was my boobs, but no. My legs are huge, my arms have wings and the list goes on.

I started deconstructing myself and thinking, "what did I look like before, what did I look like when I moved to Chicago, how did I get like this?" I left class 10mins before it ended and started working on the weights. I somehow found myself really funny. I'm lifting and laughing. I realized at that moment that none of that mattered. I'm the me right now and I'm sticking to "going forward". I like that I can laugh at myself when I take myself too serious.

My Gut Feelings...

I'm feeling that my gut is trying to tell me that this move overseas isn't for me...right now.
I think shortening my departure time frame has put me in a panic.
Job searching had become the bane of my existence. As selfish as it may sounds, I don't want to teach.
I wouldn't mind voluteering for a few years somewhere, but I think my health needs to be a lot better than it is in order to save the world (><)

I'm not throwing in the towel just yet damn it!!!!! I refuse to be the person that didn't seek out opportunities and missed out on amazing things.

Updates...
Most of the test results I took last doctor visit were good. No cancer (she had to give me a 2nd test, 1st was inconclusive), no diabetes, no high blood pressure.
Flip side...slightly calcium deficient, protein deficient, low blood sugar, side effects of meds are starting to rear their ugly heads...

My workouts had calmed down, but of course I panicked and now I've become experimental and all over the place. Maybe 150 lunges and squat is a bit excessive. I really do hate pushing my body to immobility...fuckin' defeats the purpose of working out. I've been sprinting and walking on the treadmill these days. I actually enjoy running that way. Why must trial and error be the only way to figure this out? I've decided to not be stagnate with my exercise. I like mixing it up...keeping my body guessing it the goal YOTB!

I'm feeling trapped and not having much of an outlet. Thinking too much has become problematic, so I'm going to start yoga and meditation on the weekends. If Mandy teaches classes in my apt. I will definitely have no excuse for missing it.

I should just publish my book and sell it and live off that...enoughs enough!!!!

Nope Not the Wig

Oh so amusing!!!

Got my hair cut today. Feeling good about it. Maintenance should be minimal, but we'll see. I like that I have bangs and they're not weird. I'm not sure why I feel invincible right now, but I do!!!

I'm going to wake up early tomorrow, get to work at a decent time, do a zumba class and piyo sometime between meetings and phone calls. YOTB meeting on Sunday. I'm curious what we will talk about. I've been wondering how the others are fairing with meeting their goals for YOTB.

This has been an off week. I'm not sure why it was so hard to get up AND go to work, but I'll have more motivation next week. My plan is to use as many free pass for yoga all over the city in the next few months. Its a fun challenge that I'm sure my cheerleading friends will partake in...

Cause I'm invincible right now!!!!

Keep on keeping on!

Well, where to start? I've lost 4 and quarter more inches. I got measured Friday. I'm happy that there is some measurable progress in the right direction. So that's a total of approx.14 inches. My goal is to lose 8 inches by my next measuring. I need to run. Come hell or high water, I need to run.
I'm thinking of going outside now to go for a run around the block or at the school playground across the street. I did Zumba today and broke a mad sweat. I feel good when I sweat during my workout.

Clothes were fitting better, now they're not really fitting so great. Maybe too big now. No complaining!!! All part of the process. I'm going to Bikhram with Kim and Leen tomorrow. I really like the hot yoga. So relaxing, hard, but relaxing. The apt is coming along...slowly, but surely.

We've not had a YOTB meeting in awhile. Everyone is busy and preoccupied. This is sort of defeating MY own purpose for this "movement". Having it become part of your life not squeezing it in. I guess at this point, to each his own. As long as everyone is happily reaching their goals, no need to complain.

I'm getting antsy about moving. I need to get a solid action plan together. I'm thinking visiting some places might be necessary. Japan seems to be my focus right now. I'm reading about people with allergies...I need to consider all angles, seriously.

Now off to fiddle with my book about temping...absurd. There is endless material. Just need to put it down.

Clothes and Life, what the Hell

I didn't think I would get to this where I feel such disdain for shopping. Clearing and organizing
the life has become a chore instead of the 2nd nature behavior I wanted to somehow "just happen".
I own too many things and am sad that I have to get more things, because my clothes are not fitting properly. This should be a good thing but seems to be counter-productive. I find I think about things too much. Constantly over thinking gets you no where.

This weekend, I'm going to put out at least 6 chapters of my book and narrow my move (location) some more. I'm really looking forward to going to Dallas. Just thinking about how my visits there will be numbered if I move overseas has suddenly begin to trouble me. I know I have my families support in whatever I decide, but moving across country alone is another world from moving across a body of water.

I need to find a job with a good fit for me. I might be unrealistic with the economy like it is, but I'm going to do this somehow.

Now back to listening to some Leehom. He's going to sing me into being super motivated and positive...

The hourglass that is my life

I'm not sure who turned my hourglass over, but I feel like the flood gates have been open and the sand is rapidly falling to the bottom. I feel freaking rushed again. I was on the treadmill today thinking (while looking in the mirror) "WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!"
I'm not where I feel I should be. I've slacked on the working out so that I'm not a crazy loon, but at the same time forgot that I need to get results.
I won't go crazy, I won't go crazy, I won't go crazy...to late.

Ugh. Its fine. My ultimate goal 2-1-A. Moving away!!!!!
With 2 bags, 1 bike, A dream...I can do this.

Work on teaching certifications, finding jobs, getting healthy!!!!
Staying positive is the key.

Maybe a strict schedule is what I need. Not sure who will call me on my shit,
but discipline would be a little something I could throw into the mix of my life
right now. Also time to cut back on the food I'm eating...maybe my bread intake.

Gym Pimp...

I've got another lady at work on board with the working out bandwagon.

A few have fallen off, but it's all good. I'm taking one day at a time and trying not to stress myself out. Some more potential newcomers are taking a class with us tomorrow. I'm really excited about people being apart of the group exercising.

I may not see the progress I want as fast as I want, but I'm having a hell of a good

time getting there. Ups and downs are a given. I feel as if its still new and exciting.

I can dance while working out and have a great time. I'm overwhelmed with sharing

this feeling. Honestly think I JUST realized this while typing just now...

As scared as I am to get measured again, I'm terribly curious about the results since

the last time I have my measurements taken. I feel like I've been working hard, but that's not really a reasonable way to see progress. When I get the verdict (cause I feel like I'm on trial and waiting for the jury to condemn me for not working out enough or properly) I have 2 choices

I could a) become depressed with not meeting my goal or b) take whatever it is and use it as a stepping stone (listening to lots of Duffy) to go to the next level.

I'm opting for b. Whatever level it is, I have to see it as positive in order to go forward.

Looking Up and Ahead

I took pictures of myself in my 2 piece swimsuit. I think I will feel that I'm making progress if I see visuals. Plus everyone and their mom have these ridiculous before and after shots. I pray to God I don't have before and before pictures. HAHAHAHA

So I've eased up on my workout. I only went once a day last week. I needed a break maybe.
I turned 30 Sunday and I feel like I need to get it in gear. You think I had one foot in the grave at the rate my mind is planning. Even if 30 is suppose to be a turning point, I feel like I had an awakening long before. I like to think I'm ahead of the game. (whatever game that might be)

I'm feeling exhausted, might be the vitamins. I just realized I ran out last week.
Why do they make a difference...damn it!?!!?!?

Oh I can't wait for Spring. I want to wear dresses more this Spring and Summer.
Not sure why, but it seems a lot easier.

Upping the cardio and varying the muscle strength routine. Not really sure whats happening, but I feel my body changing for sure. I'm nervous about getting measured again in a few weeks. I want to really see if using free weight is something I should be doing or am doing correctly.

We'll see...

Btw, while in Ann Arbor, I went to the YMCA with Eliz and Josh. Saturday and Sunday.
So awesome.

Superhero...

I thought maybe I was burned out with exercising. This is not the case.
I needed more variety.
I love the classes. Yasmin is the best instructor. Only because she is 19 and entertaining as hell.
Zumba is amazingly fun with Yasmin. I feel so good and so worked out by the end of class.
I think Jessica and I have gotten Turbo Kick down....finally!
Of course they will change the music and routine now that we've finally got what the heck is going on.
My workouts with Victoria are definitely pushing me like I want. We've been doing it for 2 weeks now. I'm going to give it another 3 weeks before I measure myself. I am extremely nervous that my hard work will not give me the results I want.

Its just impatience. It will pass. It usually does.

I have no energy when I get home. I seriously wonder how long I can keep up

with going to the gym twice a day. Last week. I didn't workout or look at a gym for 3 whole days!!! Today was the 1st day in 4 days I walk/ran on the treadmill. I've been doing other cardio and didn't realize that "oh yeah you were trying to do the running thing". Time to get back on that wagon for sure.

I'm going to Michigan this weekend. Fingers-crossed I get to do some yoga with Eliz and the AnnArbs crew. I need this get away.

I have a restless feeling that I'm sure I can nap away in Ann Arbor!!!!

Progress?

I feel that I can't really update the blog unless I've made some progress. The idea of just discussing what I'm "going to do" is getting old to me. I will simply go over what I am "doing".

1. I've started, what we've coined "superhero's workout". Victoria is a hard-ass so its a good opportunity to take my working out to another level. Plus I'm a project for her. (I think I humor her more then anything)

2. I'm not guilt ridden (as much) when I don't workout.

3. I've purchased some furniture. Swatches and paint are next. The home cleansing is right on track.

Must remember patience, patience, patience.

I'm excited that my sister is moving back to the states. She will get to see me and my place a lot more often.

Spring is so close I can taste it!!!! Maybe I will work hard enough to wear a 2 piece and not have to wear a sarong over it...You never know!

Dfo out

Simmering Down...

So I didn't workout yesterday. I'm ok
I did yoga today. Its not working out, but its ok

Small strides, patient with progress, stay positive.

I am looking forward to working with weights this week again.
Maybe I'll be a lot smarter and not push myself too hard.
I really should start learning from my mistakes.
Enoughs enough.

My YOYB is on track...it really is.

Thanks you guys

I did not workout nor go to the gym today. I'm ok with this.

Ok maybe so I'm not, but I need to be. I am still sore from doing the free weights on freakin MONDAY! I walk/ran on Tuesday. PiYo on Wednesday.

Today nothing...

Kim told me that taking a class is still considered going to the gym.

How sad is it that I'm not putting those 2 things together. Its a strange feeling

when I think that its necessary to spend so much time at the gym.

I am being realistic. I really want this to work and need it to work faster.

So that part is unrealistic...

Glad I have my friends to remind me of my absurdness...

So I got measured a few days ago and apparently I've lost and 9 inches. An inch in my arms, my boobs, my waist, my torso, my hips, my butt, and my thighs.
I'm hearing that its good and I'm on track, but I'm not convinced. I can and will do more. I have to. I got some good running shoes!!!! I can run for more than 5 mins on the treadmill at 4.9 speed. I'm excited about that. I want get to a point where I can run for 30 mins.
I really need and want to do this.

I have lots of people supporting me.

I can do this.

I can do this.

So I already feel like I'm 2 months behind with the YOTB. I have loss a few inches, but I'm not feeling real progress has been made. I need to get cracking on the finances and the apartment aspect of my goals.

Not sure why I feel so rushed, but I do know that I need to reassess. I will work on some minor adjustments.

RUNNIN, RUNNIN, RUNNIN

So this is day 6 of me doing this run/walk thing.

With a combination of classes I'm taking, my body is a tad pissed at me.

Not sure if i will see any changes as Victoria suggested. ('cause in just 2 weeks, Victoria was getting compliments on how slim she looked)

A bit laughable if I had those expectations. I just want to get physically and mentally healthy.

Other people noticing is not how I want to go about this.

I am setting how I want to measure myself.

(Without measurements!!!!)

I am focused. I feelin' good about myself and the things around me.

My goal is to run on the treadmill for 30mins straight without stopping.

Bad knees, bad back, and all!!!

Small motivators

I ran for the 1st time in years yesterday. My knees are still
aching almost 24 hours later, but its ok. I am doing a class after
work with Jessica!!
She is exhausted from work, and I am tired from everything...but she said
"we can do this".

So we will do this!!!!

Just Rambling Some Facts...

This is the monkey on my back that I imagine when I workout. Cause I need to be shot if I get any bigger or any more unhealthy!!!

Exhausted...

Went to the gym yesterday. I can't believe I am still sore. I know its a ridiculous goal to workout 7 days a week. I really feel to get to where I want to be, this might be my only option.

I'm reasonable enough to know that I need to work up to that. I'm staying positive.

My true test this weekend was going out and not partying too much. I didn't drink too much at the hockey game Friday. Kudos to me! Now an extended weekend with Eliz and her AArbs group. I won't go crazy. I am going to go workout now...

The point of the PowerPoint...

This is to give you an idea of my focus for YOTB!

Everyone on the same page

Understanding each other

Ultimate outline

Double Trouble...ugh

So Jessica and I found out today that 2 classes is pushing it!
PiYo is A WORKOUT!!!
We got a little too excited and attempted to to Turbo Kick class immediately afterwards.
That was a poor choice considering we were both aching from PiYo.
This is ok though. Trial and error. This week is a lithmus test for working out at WWW. (Whens the best time to go and do what at different times of the day...) I am enjoying the energy we are feeding off of each other. This working out with people is a new phenomenon for me.
I'm going to ride the wave and hope and pray the novelty doesn't wear off.
I'm going to try my hardest to stay motivated

Also as much as I keep saying that pacing yourself is the way to go, I am finding that I'm sprinting recklessly toward my goals.
I don't mind pushing myself when I workout, but I need to be aware of my limits so that I don't get burned out to quickly.

Kim and Vikki are on target and YOTB is in full affect!

So the calorie counter is fine, but I think might have forgotten to put some things on the list a few times. Not sure if I can be that much of a stickler. But the site is pretty informative.
The health articles are interesting and encourage.
I think that just keeping track of what I'm eating would be best for me.
I joined another gym of Friday. Very random and funny. Me and some ladies from work all did a tour of the new Womens Workout World. I can now go workout before, after, or during work. This makes me very happy!
Sadly no more Y for me. For now anyway. I seem to always go back...

Just some more thinking...

I can honestly say this is the first time that I've counter calories or done anything that has even come close to a diet. Minus my love for bacon and french fries. I don't think I eat that bad. Still not very clear as to what the right things to do and eat are yet, but I feel like I am getting closer. So I am still positive and going to try and stick with the hilarious counter online. I did not eat out all week. I am very proud of myself. Not only am I saving money but I am making my lunch which I've always thought was healthier.

Pretty amazed at myself

Not that I have doubts about me being serious with this YOB, but I realized something today.
I've been going to the gym in the rain, sleet, and snow. I am strangely proud of myself.
Just thought I should put it out there...

Nothing much...

I've started to seriously take note of what I'm eating....or not eating. I spend 3 hours in the grocery store yesterday. I looked at every ingredient on everything I picked up. If it had
high fructrose corn syrup (which I'm good about avoiding) or any type of nitrates, nitrites (food preservatitives) I quickly disregarded it. After 3 hours of heavy reading, I came out with one bag and spend $20. Oatmeal (the not descript with no flavor), cinninmon (to add to non descript oatmeal), grapefruit and apples, Kashi cereal and Kashi snack bars. I eat like this anyway, but I usually have lots of frozen meals or precoook dinners also. Now there is no processed food in my life!!! This is going to be an uphill battle to find food I can eat.

I can do this...

Welcome 2009

Day 1 of the new year. Nothing to report, just lots of thinking. I do believe I'm on to something. I'm sensing lots of positive things to come.