My core is very important...

Going back to the gym has reminded me that (not sure how I forgot) my balance and sanity are in my health. Mental and physical health are directly connected to how I treat myself. Now that I’ve apologized to my body, moped around a little in self pity, laughed off the negative, I can now smile and properly prepare for whats next.
I’ve moved into a hilarious 8brm converted from a 2brm (lord knows how many people per room) 2bathroom (I don’t step foot in either, hence the gym membership I use a minimum of twice a day) no kitchen or living room…yes its very interesting.
One of the pluses(working on being positive) of getting this temporary sublet piece of slumlord heaven was also acquiring some temporary adult students (cha-ching$$$). I’ve been working everyday since being kicked out of the last place. Work, gym, sleep. (not having a working computer...again really helps this lifestyle)
One of the new temporary students is a manager for Mercedes Benz. His views of life in China are very interesting. He’s never been abroad and he extremely familiar with western life (internets are amazing). I’ve not met many straight Chinese men my age that happily talk so openly about anything (most are shy or too busy trying not to lose face and embarrass themselves). He’s very smart and funny. His views of the social climate in China are from a perspective I honestly didn’t know existed. He tells me stories of how a simple trip to the hospital becomes an Olympic Event. You wait/pay before you see the doctor/wait/see doctor for 4 mins/wait/pay for meds/wait/see pharmacist…
Some people slip the doctor some cash (I’m apparently guilty of this when Joe took me to the hospital earlier this year, little did I know) to cut in front of “anyone” (old people, burn victims, bloody and injured alike). He admits that he can pay to cut, but he “SHOULDN’T HAVE TO.” He understands how ridiculous things are here but “sometimes you have to play the game to survive”. I asked him if his company offered to relocate him to Germany or the States would he go. He says “this sounds crazy but I wouldn’t. China is my home, but I am certainly shipping my daughter off somewhere [outside China] when she’s in her teens so she can see that this [life in China] is not how it has to be”. Mr. Benz (I call him this because we meet 3 times a week and he has a different color Benz shirt/sweater vest/jacket on. I’ve not seen him in the same thing 2 twice…hilarious) got me thinking as I desperately look for flights home, “that this might be what being homesick feels like”. Joe bought me some really good pancakes and hash browns the other day because he thinks I’m homesick, but really just wants me to shut the hell up about biscuits…man if he knew Arghhhh!!!!! If he only knew!!!!!!!!!!
I might be in denial still, but I’m having dreams of coming home now.

While missing Thanksgiving dinner...

As I walk around like a zombie trying to figure out and over calculate every move I make now, I find myself making silly mistakes. Sending the wrong resume out, not taking the time difference into account when trying to Skype people for interviews...etc, etc.
Poor choices: Trying to apply for jobs after 2 hours sleep (I've become a crazy person trying to edit, write and organize) 3 to 4 hours of oral English lessons including but not limited to power point presentations and practice (one of my 1 on 1 business English students is a VP for Balluff China. He genuinely loves how interested I am in his company and my ppt ideas for different presentations he's had with his German and American heads and coworkers...ok, you're caught now). After 60+ slides I want to kill myself, but am extremely surprised how much I've learned and how my knowledge from the rail industry has prove somehow useful in automation/machine tools/sensors...blah, blah, blah I won't bore you.

So in order to come home to the good ole US of A without being a complete peasant, I will try and make a few dollars (thats literal...a very few USD) before I return home (i.e. teaching private lessons) Meanwhile buying time for flight prices to go down and visa to expire :)

My day to day activities include staring/reviewing my writings and hating them and being emotional and frustrated and basically thinking too much. I get up today and while showering my electricity suddenly stopped. I went to call my roommate and asked him “Ummm whats up?”. I immediately remembered that he is in Germany or Japan or somewhere NOT IN SHANGHAI. I told Joe and he asked if he David paid the electricity and I told him “I think so”. I realized at this point that I've become, what seems like to me at the moment, some helpless character in this strange story I've been living in for over a year now. Common sense would tell one “check” the circuit and flip the switch” or “get the maintenance guy to check on things”...but no

Joe is looking at old electric bills to calculate the most I (meaning him)would need to take to the company to pay to get everything back on (while quietly cursing my roommate for being incompetent and himself for finding such a roommate.) He stops and realizes that I don't seem the least bit worried about the cold (*sidenote: he's from Africa where 70 degrees warrants dressing like an Alaskan...its not cold, about 50F) temperatures that have hit Shanghai and not having electricity = no heat. He tells me that he's going to talk to the building guy and see what the problem is. 20 minutes later, crazy doorman guy comes up, flips the fuse (just to be fair, I had no idea where the fuse box was located) and everything was fine. Joe looks at me saying, extremely relieved,“thank god it was a quick fix because you would've froze to death”. (death Joe, really?)I told him “I can't wait to see you in a REAL crisis situation”

So that's me, some damsel in distress minus the distress...

Happy Thanksgiving

love

~Anne~

After further review

I'm happy to inform that I've been getting many job offers. Albeit from remote and rural areas of China, but what seems like genuine job offers. For example the above photo with the Enron logo. Its a school 2 hours outside of Shanghai that wanted to give me a 2 month trial to see if "I was any good" then they "might" see about a visa. I would have to find a new place in the middle of no where and hope and pray they liked me in 2 months and get paid. I don't really like gambling. So, no thank you.

I decided that going back to the States would be the best strategy. After much internal fighting and endless headaches, this would be a good idea. I could use the break (a dryer, biscuits, fresh air, seeing friends and family) . Joe's 2 years remaining in China could buy me time to reset things. I need a clear palette. I can't imagine getting married with my head in the clouds right now. So basically Joe and I thought me going home and startng a game plan would be best. He finally got me to discuss future talks with him. Short and long term goals list, etc, etc. What I want to do with my life and how I will get it done.

Step one...stable job with income in the US
Step two...take chinese lessons and get back to yoga/fitness 100%
Step three...start planning how to do business


I'm going to use my visa until the end (it was a pain in the ass to get) I will definitely be here until the end of December. I'm guessing February the latest. We'll see where dallas, LA, Chicago.

Send good thoughts and feelings my way.



Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one.
- Dolly Parton

Failure does not exist. Failure is simply someone else's opinion of how a certain act should have been completed. Once you believe that no act must be performed in any specific other-directed way, then failing becomes impossible.
- Wayne Dyer

Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible;
and suddenly you are doing the impossible.
- St. Francis of Assisi

Strange things often do happen to me

Dear Marilla,

Its happened, Joe asked me to marry him. To be exact while watching a football game "would you like to spend the rest of your days with me as husband and wife"...my reply "what...".
He then ask again and says "we have a bumpy road ahead, but I'm willing to do it with you.
Me: Bumpy? Are you trying to talk me out of this before I can even answer or think about it?"
Joe: No, but I DO NOT see you living in Nigeria and you are not ready to go back to the States. By bumpy I mean we will have to figure this part out, because China doesn't want you here (him trying to be funny) and my plans are not living here forever. What do you think about Dubai or Canada?
Me: Dubai? What's in Dubai?
Joe: What was in China when you came...?
Me: Good point. Let me think about this.
Joe: So is that a yes.
Me: You realize I am a broke American with no job in China.
Joe: I like challenges. It makes it more interesting.
Me: Ok then, lets figure this out.

For some reason it seems right.*

*I've consulted our star signs (Aries woman and Sagittarius man)
they tell a funny story.

Saving my “face”...my game face

The weight of realizing my extremely small existence here in PRC seems to be affecting my decisions and clouding my perspective. I am annoyed with myself for sounding melodramatic and whiny about not being able to go forward or move in any direction. I have a long list of "GREAT ideas that would prove amazing, IF someone gave me a chance to prove it"...they seem useless right now. I'm not so naive and idealistic that believing who you know isn't the key to success. But in China, who you know is the ONLY way to get anything done.
Although Tiger mom would have been a great contact for business, I would rather call INTERPOL on her ass and have to go into witness protection (I’m sure her and her shady crew of millionaire misfits would be after me), before I would ask her for help.*

*life lesson: there are some bridges that you MUST burn down

Joe tells that doing business and being successful in China won't be easy for me because I'm 'all or nothing' and 'tell it like it is' (apparently these are not good characteristics if you want to be taken serious). He explains to me that in China 1 + 2 does not equal 3. Rational, sensible, logical thinking have to be removed before the business equations can be solved sometimes. Had I not been here for as long as I have (it does not take long to see how hilarious things are), I would have told him "Puhleeeze" Considering the things I've witnessed and been first hand apart of...nothing is impossible. Everything moves slow, rules change daily, brand name (anything) rules.
As much as I would like to be an “Agent of Change”, its complicated. I'm not even a fish in the ocean, I'm a micro-organism at the bottom of the sea. Common sense can't be taken for granted, whats right isn't right and things are done differently and as inefficient as possible. Can I really do business in such a place? Would I really want to try and convince ANYONE here that their quality of life could be improved. I really need to consider these things.
I sit in cafes listening to dreamy foreigners and their ideas of what they want/will do in Asia and how they CAN and WILL change things (overly optimistic and insensitive jerks if you ask me). I read forums about people taking their 'journey' and finding themselves here. I'm guessing many of them didn't take the Shanghai route. Maybe that makes my 'trip' a little unique (I'd like to think I'm somewhat special...its really all in my head) My adventure is taking shape by way of “trying to live in a developed and growing” China instead of 'an ancient and traditional country'. I've been thinking that trying to find where I fit in could be the source of my problems. I should probably turn my attention and focus to finding how China might “fit” into MY plans.


I like this idea a lot more.

A year later, lessons learned, looking for Scottie to beam me up and out

This past year has proven to be one of the most challenging for me. Every single day I doubt this decision and then I am immediately reminded, by strangers or friends, that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I still don't know the right answers AND there is a ridiculous learning curve.

As I went jump roping in the park (turns out its the cure for many things, such as zero motivation to deal with life or people) I watch the old people do Tai Chi. There are 2 old men that attempted to teach me and I'm sure they're silently judging me and I my jump rope skills. Whatever, this jump rope got me out the apt. The past 3 days I have been in my apt watching 24. I have heard of this show. I might have seen a few partial episodes, but I never watched religiously. After finishing season 7 (yes 7 damn seasons) I realized that at this point I was falling into some sort of depression. Somehow jump rope was the answer. Also calls from Erick* who sees something is wrong with me and calls me out for walks around the city.

*please recall the injured German whose bathtub I used

I am on my way to Hong Kong...again. I hope to return, a refreshed Anne.
There have been no updates here, because there has been nothing new. I am dealing with the same headaches everyday. Interview for many jobs, one job offer, job sounds promising, take job, get screwed, I'm shocked at outcome...moving on. This last one did pay me (40% less than agreed) so I shouldn't complain...right.

So I've possibly come to the conclusion of "What Would Anne of Green Gables do In China"...she wouldn't fucking come. Bottomline. Anne is crazy but she's a lot smarter than this.

With that said, I'm here and I'm going to stay as long as I can. I don't want to leave here with a bitter taste in my mouth of disdain and frustration. I want to give people and this place a chance. Now to seriously look for other avenues.

Game face back ON.

Yup, thats about right

So I signed a contract with a new English training kids “school/center/business” in Shanghai. They said they will “get me a visa” and “take care” of important paper work for me. The guy that recruited me promised many things(i.e. 20-30hrs per week, flexible schedule, visa, housing allowance, blah, blah, blah)
I get to the school:
*No kids
*The “other english teachers” don't speak english very well or AT ALL
*I am the only English speaker/teacher with any experience
*My 1st schedule...I work 9 days straight. About a 40 hour week (Did I mention the no kids part?)

Apparently I'm not only responsible for teaching the kids (whenever they come), teachers and other staff at this 'New' school, but I am also in charge of convincing the parents and kid that “THIS TRAINING SCHOOL/BUSINESS IS THE BEST AND YOU SHOULD STUDY/BUY CLASSES HERE”
Hilarious...I know.

We have 'public classes', 20 to 25min sample classes for potential students. I've designed many short demos for varying ages and English levels with the other “english tutors”. I've tried explaining flexibility to them and how we won't know what age or level the kids will be, we should be ready for ANYTHING. I tell them that THEY need to speak English themselves and create a comfortable atmosphere for the kids to WANT to learn. I realized after day 3 that my work and aspirations were futile. When the few kids that DID come to the 'public classes' spoke better english than the tutors here, I lost most of my motivation to even try. They hired young college students to come “tutor” English to little kids. I'm not sure what to make of this situation.

This motivated me to go on a job interview at Shanghai Call Center. They're looking for a Corporate Business Trainer. Basically teaching Chinese adults to sound American or extremely fluent in English. This sounded right up my alley, so I jumped at it.
The interview seemed good. They liked me (they always do, but you never know here) so we'll see. I have to wait to hear from them after Chinese National Holiday. If they want me I will RUN, not walk, to that job.
For now I'm trying not to go too crazy with the kids “school”.

The “principal/business owner” told us, in one of our many meetings that she wanted this to be the best school in Shanghai. I smiled at her determination and spirit. She followed that up with “I want us to be better than Disney English!!!!” (one of the top english training programs/company IN THE WORLD) I smiled and thought to myself “of course you do”. My days are made up of settling arguments with the tutors and other workers in the school over whose pronunciation is best/worst. Its interesting that most of them think their fluency is almost native level (they think they sound exactly like me or British) I think its good they have the confidence, but I happily correct them when necessary. Meanwhile,t he paint is still drying, 3 “tutors” have quit and the principal has taken a new approach to the “public classes”. I now sit in the office and work on future lesson plans and quietly sit around looking mysterious and peak the interest of visitors. (I now know how zoo animals feel when being watched)

And thats that...for now.

Love always

Anne with an 'e'

Pretty package

Contrary to popular belief, I'm not the perfectly (you what know what I mean) put together person I thought I was...well according to some folks here anyway. I'm becoming more and more nostalgic of the events that occurred this time last year. Nervous as hell moving to another country, looking for a job, worrying about visas, housing, money...blah, blah, blah. Sound familiar. Well it should, because its “China Headache 2: the Remix” I'm wondering every single day whats the point and I am quickly reminded that this is “a once in a lifetime experience”. I need to take advantage of this chance. That's that.
I just got off the phone with one of the 12 agents that have made it some sort of fun challenge to get the Black American a job. Bradley, is his name, told me that he's sending ME a copy of MY “augmented CV” for me to start using and sending out. He told me he “fixed it” and made it “worth” looking at. He requested I find a picture of myself with some white people to send out. (how I wish I was joking) I should preface this with the fact that Bradley is a midwestern looking white guy from Cincinnati and has been in Asia for over 3 years. So know that FOR SURE, he is my favorite agent helping me look for a job. He knows EXACTLY how ridiculous he sounds to me when he requests ABSURD things from me (i.e. pics with 1 or 2 white people in a classroom type setting) He gets more upset about my rejections, due to skin color issue (if you get my drift) than I do and he seems to be very honest about everything I ask him about. For example, I've called him about job postings I've seen or heard about to see if he could do some re-con on...he replies “I'm on it” or “well the thing about that place is...”
Even if Bradley doesn't find me a job, its good to have someone on my side. He reminds me often, that I CANNOT take this personal. My friends here all seem confident that I will find something because I'm American, but I don't think many of them understand that I am not the pretty packaged “American” that’s wanted sometimes. If I had the funding, I'm sure I could do a very interesting Sociological Experiment/Research on this, but alas no market or real interest for that here. Which has bought me to another realization. Mental hygiene isn't an easy industry to push in China. Attempting to life coach to prideful, arrogant, rich, infallible human beings seems crazy. The more people I see as potential clients for my wonderful life changing idea/program...the more I see attempted murder cases on my hand. You can't change peoples value systems and I would never never want to try. But if you value “winning” and “boasting” about how much power you have and what you HAVE...you are a lost cause from jumpstreet.
I want to help people find ways to get more out of life than the material factors. I want people to see that quality can be more profound than quantity...Bootleg central is not ideal for this little experiment. I need to think more on how I can/will achieve what I want.

Until next time...

always Anne with and 'e'

A more positive post...for crying out loud.

So I've made an appointment with this publisher guy friend of Joe's named Miller. I met him last year and because I'm slow didn't think to consult him or try asking for his assistance or some guidance for book publishing. So we'll see.

I will not have anymore "damn Joe" complaining post. I probably will never understand him so I will stop trying. He's doing outpatient treatment for his stomach and says he's fine. He just keeps saying "you told me to take care of myself and that my condition isn't good...". Who throws words back at people like that. 5 year olds, thats who. I told him "don't complain if I disappear. I will probably be too busy finding myself to bother letting you know" He looks at me like he's disappointed...hilarious. I agree with my friend Sam, I SHOULD BE GETTING PAID FOR THE WORK I do in this relationship. Whatever

I've learned that the queen, chinese french national (God yes I know, another one) of the ifa (fashion school I interviewed with) doesn't like females under 24 or anyone born under the year of the monkey sign. I feel my chances are good. I am 32 and born under the goat sign. Let's pray she's not crazy....

what am I missing

So apparently Anne might not be cut out for relationships...period. Joe is currently in the hospital being watched by a doctor. I've only been back 14 days and Joe came back from a 2daywork trip (which I suggested (told) him not to go because he wasn't looking well) feeling awful. He's visibly loss MORE weight and has zero energy. He goes to a few doctors, they give him medicine and he sort of takes it. Then complains of nothing working. We argue when I tell him that he's not taking care of himself and then he goes missing for 3 days. I got a text message from him, after I've tried calling a few times, saying "I can't use the phone while I'm staying in the hospital. YOU told me that I needed to take better care of myself...so thats what I'm doing". UNBELIEVEABLE...I would almost prefer him cheating. BECAUSE THAT WOULD MAKE MORE SENSE TO ME. Am I missing something? Can guys really be that worried about looking weak? Could something be really wrong and he doesn't want to tell me...ugh. I don't like this. I've been looking at the cost tickets back to the States versus buying a Visa through an agent. No jobs here, definitely no jobs there, its making my head hurt. France truly costed me more than I realized, but I'm trying very hard to look at the bright side. I need to find a gym and sauna...

I have the worst memory

Joe finds me a very good place in Shanghai with a nice Chinese guy named David. He is always out of town. I met him on the 6th day I was back, then he left again. While he was around we chatted about Chicago and his 14 years living there and all over the US. I wonder if Joe knew I needed this little piece of home after the crazy summer I had...

Now I am once again looking for work in the good old PRC (Peoples Republic of China) I've interviewed with a few places and like usual...I just wait. I am putting together the pieces of what might be a book that I was able to put together this summer. We'll see.

France...the conclusion.

Of course I couldn't calmly and quietly leave Paris without just ONE more dinner party and MORE DRAMA. Hairong ask (told) Agnes to inform me that I was expected at a dinner party my last night in France.

*backstory* Hairong boasted and bragged about having a young American companion to some potential business partners earlier this summer and long story short...she couldn't lose face and say "oh that American hates me or she's dead" (I would've been fine with either of those excuses)


Agnes said that I should go and meet some interesting people, maybe get some contacts for...well you never know. Afer some coaxing I thought why not go for a nice free meal and make the best of my last night here. I'm so glad I did. Considering I was in the hole financially from Hairong's manic episode (train ticket back to Paris plus a number of other expenses that she was SUPPOSE to take care of) I thought why not go make her terribly uncomfortable and see the boys one last time. Agnes agrees to go with me so that she could see the boys too. We show up and Hairong is quiet and not very responsive. She looks visibly sad. Jacques comes to me and said that they were visiting graves all day while his mom fought with Alain on the phone. I asked him what happened and I regretted it the moment I asked. Please follow if you can...

Hairong comes to Paris and stays with her ex-fiance Stephan (don't ask me why) or at some 5 star hotel. She doesn't usually take the kids to Paris with her and leave them with Agnes or in Normandy or Toulon. I think she likes to play single, children free lady from time to time...
Hairong's ex-fiance, Stephan, got a call from Alain's ex-wife saying "my son is coming to stay with you and Hairong until its time for all of them to fly back to Shanghai." Alain didn't want to pay for a hotel for HIS son and gave HIS ex-wife Hairong ex-finace's phone number...then turned off ALL 4 of his phones. Hairong flipped out when Alain's son showed up at Stephans front door ready to be boarded and fed. Alain finally turned on one of his phones and the argument begin. Jacques said by the end of the conversation, Alain told Hairong "I'm only with you for you money". Hairong said that he needed to be gone by the time they got back to Shanghai and that he needs to take Charlotte with him. "She's your child". I asked Pierre and Jacques if they were alright, they said its whatever. Apparently Hairong and Alisha got into an argument too because Hairong didn't call to cancel dinner plans they made at some really nice restaurant and they were suppose to take all the kids to see a show. Alisha tol her "don't make plans if you can't follow through". So Pierre's ticket out of that places was burned. I mingle the rest of the night and met some really interesting people that did not JUST talk about themselves. I exchange phone numbers and they insisted that I give them a call next time I'm in France or Italy or wherever the hell they were from. I was very proud of my networking. I did not speak to Hairong once. Agnes and I left the party around midnight with one of the older gentlemen that I think might be interested in her *wink wink* he brought us home and I started to pack for my flight the next day. 2am rolls around and there is a knock at the door. Its Pierre and Jacques. Their mom dropped them off at Agnes' apt. Jacques said he was soh sorry and that thier mom had to take care of some business and didn't want to put them in a hotel. Agnes looks at them and shakes her head and goes to make a bed for them. Their flight was 10 in the morning and they had been dragged around by their mother the last 3 or 4 days. Jacques gave me a bag for my extra luggage his mother gave him and said that their mom would be by to pick them up at 9.

I look at Agnes and say "I'm sorry". She smiles and says "thats how she is and she seems to be getting worst" We all sleep and I make the boys a big breakfast of baked egg,tomato, cheese crossaint sandwiches at 7. Hairong calls Agnes and tells her to BRING the boys to Stephan's place instead, because "she has so much to deal with right now, there isn't enough time to go get the boys" Agnes hangs up and says "I knew that would happen" So all get in Agnes' car and drive over. The boys go up and come back down to tell us that thier mom isn't coming down and that she said bye. I start laughing and I give them big hugs and tell them to email IF THEY can and that I'm sorry I couldn't help them more. Agnes and I drive away and she says "she could've come down to say thank you, damn bitch" All I can do is laugh and laugh. Agnes starts laughing too saying "what ridiculous people"

I spent the day visiting the Lourve and a few other museums, walking around really seeing the city. I don't dislike it as much now for some reason. Agnes took me to the airport that night and told me with a big smile on her face "you know where the key is, come see me and all the friends you made last night again". I told her that I couldn't thank her enough and that I would most certainly come back. I have to get this bad taste/experience of France out of my mouth." We hug and I go to check my bags and find out I'm flying business first class. I laughed at this because I think Hairong forgot to change it when she got pissed off at me. Whatever. I sat next to a really pretty Chinese lady that lives in Paris and spoke an interesting British english with a french/chinese accent. We talked about yoga, government, her life and friends. How she went to Hermes to buy her friend a bag and they told her that its a year long wait for that bag. She explained asked the salesperson "you want me to pay 25,000euro to wait for a bag that will be out of season when I get it?!?! I don't think so" (i really wished she'd follow it up with a homey don't play that) She said that she bought her friend Channel for a year and that she better with happy with that. She bought up everything from the duty free cart on the plane. She told me "its easier to buy in the air, less luggage for you AND they will keep it for you so that you don't have to keep up with it" I laughed at her and agreed.

The flight seemed short and we were suddenly in Shanghai. Joe met me at the airport. He had a very big grin on his face and gave me a big hug and said "Welcome back to Shanghai, it missed you". I smiled and said I missed it too.

Anne's back in China

Breathing a sigh of relief and falling into a sleep coma...

I made arrangements with Agnes (secretly), she would meet me in Paris and Alisha gave me her information if Agnes couldn't help. Hairong took a train to Paris THE DAY BEFORE I WAS SUPPOSE TO LEAVE AND DID NOT TELL ME. (meaning I needed to stay and watch the children) Alisha said that she wanted to go buy ANOTHER house in Paris and she would return late that night (4hour train ride to Paris, buy house and do some shopping, return on 4hour train to the house at midnight) So Alisha, Solange, and Hairong rode the train together. When Alisha got to Paris she call me and said that that was the longest train ride she'd ever had. Alisha agreed to take Pierre with her to Beijing but ONLY UNDER CERTAIN CONDITIONS

1. You cannot interfere with the choices I make for Pierre from this point on
2. You cannot change Jaques school. If he can work hard with Danielle for a good year he will be able to go to the Swiss school with Solange
3. You need to keep Danielle. You won't find someone like her. EVER (I have become more of a counselor for him than a tutor. Alisha thinks that is what he needs right now)

Hairong said she would agree to all terms. I told Alisha "we'll see. she is a very good actress". Alisha was convinced that she was serious because she was thanking her while crying and admitted she didn't know how to educate children and kept saying she doesn't know what to do with her children (blah blah blah I don't believe any of it) Alisha said if she does not follow the terms, she would tell her husband to stop all business with her. I thought, "oh the irony here". I thanked Alisha and told her she was a saint. She said she wish she could take Jacques too but thats a lot to handle. I told her "well you CHOSE to have have 1 child. She selfishly and stupidly had 2 and adopted another. Seriously there are limits to what you can do." She asked me if I would continue to help Jacques. I told her that I would seriously need to think about it. This was the most ridiculous summer I've ever had. My view of Hairong has changed 180. I still feel sorry for her, but I don't respect her much. I don't usually waste my time with stupid people. Its a crazy habit I've developed. Alisha talks to Jacques to make sure he understands why she is taking Pierre and not him. She tells me that Hairong said she would pay for my hotel and train ticket back to Paris so everything should go somewhat smoothly now...

Hairong returns to the house at midnight and tells me that she will call Agnes to see if she will let me stay with her. In her words "you can't trust thqt viper, but we'll ask anyway". I thought to myself "I would rather be with the viper at this point than a crazy fire breathing dragon" I talked to Agnes with Hairong. Agnes told me on the phone "lets keep this comedy up, so she thinks this was her idea and she THINKS she is rescuing you by ALLOWING you to stay with me." I laugh to myself and just go along with it. I tell Hairong that the train ticket to Paris was 90Euro. She says "oh, thats cheaper than mine were today" and nothing else.

Side story: When I went to Marseille to take care of my visa (which Hairong and Alain swore they would help me with and didn't) I saw that train tickets to Paris were 40Euro. I told Alain that I would buy my ticket back to Paris now since its so cheap. He tells me "no, no Hairong has taken care of your train ticket. That was part of the agreement. So don't buy another." I asked a few more times "ARE YOU SURE"...I regret not going with my gut feeling. Whatever

She tells me that we will meet in Paris. (I'm thinking...why?)That she will take Agnes and I to dinner (we should be gracious for her kindness) before we all leave for Shanghai and she will take any excess baggage for me so that I'm not over weight (right after this she says "maybe you shouldn't do any shopping") I look at her and blankly and say ok and good night. This might be the first time in my life I did not thank someone for all the good THEY THINK they are doing. She suggested I take a taxi because my train was very early, without offering taxi money (about 30euro). I told her "I will be fine on the bus so goodnight"

I wake up at 5am the next morning and gather ALL of my heavy crap. Take the bus, then the train. I arrive in Paris and meet Agnes. She asked "did Hairong pay for the train?" I tell her no. She replies "she is such a bitch. its ok now you can rest"

I slept for 6 straight hours. I had not slept that well in months...Agnes makes me some coffee and says "you don't have to talk if you don't want, but know that I understand". I felt like a weight was lifted and I started telling her the most recent news.

She sat and listened to me this time.

Countdown to Showdown came faster than expected

After 2 weeks of the kids being productive (not going to hospitals or hurting themselves) and on a decent schedule, Hairong returned. She came back with Alisha and her daughter Solange. Hairong thought she would bring her for a visit to talk to her about business (Alisha's husband builds hotels and Hairong thought she could get the wife on her team to push the husband *rolling eyes*)...NO. Turns out Alisha is a tiger mom that works with her daughter and is INVOLVED with raising her. Alisha wanted to talk education. Alisa is a French/Chinese teacher that values a good solid education. She was not aware of the shit storm she was joining when she came.

Countdown begin

5...Because everyone arrived late to the compound, they all just went to bed. I get up and go to wake up the kids so we can all walk to the market and get bread...I walk in the main house to the kitchen and Charlotte is eating from a newly open jar of Nutella (directly with a spoon) I ask her "what are you doing? are you trying to die?" she replies "mama said its ok" Hairong tells me "its fine, its fine. she's young". Jacques and Pierre look like trucks have run them over. I asked them why do they look so awful. They tell me that their mom kept them up all night talking about how much money she made while waving bricks of cash at them. Also yelling at them that she doesn't want or need kids. I shake my head and tell them "i'm sorry"

4...We sit down to have breakfast, I'm in the process of making coffee. Hairong starts 'selling' her idea of this hotel. Alisha smiles and says, in what I know realize was a condensending tone, "oh, that sounds nice" Alisha turns to me and ask "so how are the children in school". I start explaining to her that their level isn't where it should be and that they will need to work hard in whatever school they're going to. She tells me that Hairong wants to put them into a Swiss and American school. I told her "they would not pass the test to get into any of those school". Hairong said "they need to work hard, you are too soft on them. So about the hotel...needs programs, blah, blah, blah" I half-heartedly chime in with the researched I'd done and explained my "east to west meeting at the sea". Hairong went on for about an hour just talking...I left and said its time for the boys lesson. Hairong said "oh today we're going to beach where President Sarkosy vacations". I say...ummm ok. We swim all day. The kids find a playmate, Solange 13 years old, and they are happy. I'm happy they can play with someone their age. Hairong eventually thinks this becomes problematic because Solange is cute 13 year old girl that speaks Chinese, French, Taiwanese, Italian, English. She has opinions, has seen a lot of the world and her mom doesn't treat her like a prisoner. Hairong doesn't hesitate to tell Alisha that Solange shouldn't be behaving like she is. Alisha smiled and said "this is how 13 years old are".

3...After a day of Hairong antics and yelling fits we return to the compound. Hairong says Alisha and Solange would stay in the house with me. I'm glad because I feel like someone is going to sneak into the house and kill me every single night. Its too damn big. Alisha asked if she could talk to me. I said sure. (my 'please share your thoughts on this situation' sign was brightly lit) We sit down and have tea. She looks at me and says "Are you fucking kidding me?" I almost choke on my tea. She's this little petit Taiwanese lady that speaks great British English/Chinese/French. She begins her story of how she became involved with the family. Hairong sold some helicopters to her husband, but they've not had time to do anymore business ventures. A month ago Hairong TOLD her husband that he can be Jacques godfather and to take him. Alisha's husband said ok, but I need to talk to my wife. Alisha said "I've never met this woman and when I did, I did not like her" Hairong apparently saw how well Solange was doing at school and thought, "ok they can raise kids and they have money..."
Alisha tells me that they (meaning family father, mother, daughter) have worked hard to get Solange where she is now. She says "the boys English, French and Chinese are not very good". I told her they don't have a native tongue. They've changed schools every year or every other year. I'm gotten them tools to work on pronunciation and trying to get them to read more for vocabulary and grammar understanding. I admitted that I'm at a lost because Hairong doesn't agree with my methods (i.e using a computer EVER for ANYTHING) Alisha told me that she is very stubborn. She asked how long I've been with them and how could I stay for so long. I told her that we've gone to a handful of places around France, but she doesn't like taking the kids ANYWHERE. I've taken them out more than their mother has in the past year. Alisha said 'You need to leave. I feel like she's looking for someone to blame for her kids failure". I naively and WAY over optimisticly tell her "its only 7 days left, it will be fine" We talk about the different education systems and I tell her all the countermoves Hairong has given me with every lesson I give the boys...amazing
We talk for 3 hours and she says "we're not staying her a week. we're going back to paris. you should come with us." I thank her and tell her "its ok, I'm a big girl" little did I know.

2...Alisha, Solange, and myself wake up and go for a walk. We come back to yelling and breaking sounds in the house. Hairong found the PSP I help the boys get. (we put a english/chinese/french dictionary on it, because Hairong doesn't think its important to have one around at all times. we put a vocabulary builder with flash cards and pronunciation practice on it, SAT practice quizzes) Hairong saw Pierre with it and went Ape Shit. She threw away their Dell laptop (its about 4 years old and barely worked, thats why I thought the PSP would be better even though their mom has every Apple product under the sun...she doesn't know how to use them), she threw away their itouch, headphones, etc, etc. Anything that was made in this century was taken from them and destroyed. She became satan when they said the PSP was from me (she didn't break it). We came into the house and she ask Alisha, Solange and myself if we could leave them alone for a few minutes. I tell her "I can show you the receipt of the PSP if you like" She rolls her eyes and said "no, just take it. maybe its time for you to go"

1...Hairong then proceeds to ask Charlotte what we did when her and Alain were away. 'SHIT HIT THE FAN' Charlotte story: Danielle forced us to go to mall and made us play games and eat McDonalds. She made us go to the game store to play. Jacque and Pierre didn't study. We had to ride a bus and it was scary. She didn't let me eat sometimes. She was bad to me cause I went to bed hungry. She made me eat cake.
The real damn story:
I took them to the mall because Charlotte said she wanted a Barbie for her birthday and the damn SMURF toy from the happy meal at McDonalds. We went to fnac (book and media store) to get her some ABC, 123 books in french and english FOR CHARLOTTE. While we were there I saw the PSP was really cheap and asked the boys if they knew how to use this as a dictionary blah, blah, blah. Charlotte played the DS 3D and threw a fit when I didn't get it for her. We went to the grocery store so that I could bake a cake for her silly ass because they've 1) never had a birthday party or 2)birthday cake. Its the least I could do considering their parents don't give a shit about them...for serious. We buy the Barbie. I tell the boys that can each get on thing. They get a tshirt and underwear. (they were things their mother wouldn't let them have and I know they were eyeing them for awhile now) We go to McDonalds to get the toy. Charlotte wants to eat there. We eat fish sandwiches and split 2 fries amoung us. I bought some small snacky foods to take to the beach and we walk to the beach. Hangout there a little bit and take the bus back. ...THATS IT.
Hairong says she doesn't want me teaching her children anymore and that we weren't suppose to leave or ride buses...Alisha looks at me and says "What?!?!?!?". I tell Hairong "you seriously believe Charlotte?". She just looks at me and I smile. Oooooh kay. I go back to the house and start packing my things. Alisha says "where are the kids friends? she really wants them to stay on these grounds all summer" I look at her and say "these kids can have no friends and there is no one to rescue them and their mom is crazy. Who the hell listens to a 6 year olds word over an adults...Fuck this I'm out of here" Alisha brought a very good point to my attention. Hairong was brought up during the Cultural Revolution and many of them have no idea about education. Mao Zhedong way of learning was study by sitting alone with a book, pencil and paper. No friends no nothing. Alisha said "I'm strict with Solange, but damn. I've never seen a Chinese mom THIS crazy, selfish, and irrational". She asked what I was going to do. I told her I don't know. She said that her and Solange where leaving the next day and that I should call and let her know that I'm ok...God bless that woman.

I then called Agnes (the 1st ex-wife of Hairong's dead husband that Hairong hates) and said "Hello, this is Danielle". Agnes "Ah, I'm happy to hear your voice. I was expecting your call."

I don't understand...

Children or some parents. I just don't. My former BFF now turn anchenemy has begun to test my patience everyday since the departure of her mother. Now tiger dad is gone, she thinks she is running the place. I try to be fair and say "everyone is equal", "let's work together and we'll finish quicker"...none of these are things Charlotte is interested in. I was concerned for her before, but I don't think I realized how far gone she really was. At the ripe age of 6 she feels that she can tell me "I don't have to listen to you. This is my house, and I don't need help with anything". I could seriously reason with a terrorist better than I could with Charlotte. No one has told her that talking to strangers is bad. No one has told her that you shouldn't accept candy from strangers. No one has told her that when someone is responsible for you, YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO THEM.

Before both parents left, I asked them for EMERGENCY contact numbers, where's the hospital, where are the kids IDs and what to do in the event...you know WHEN SHIT GOES DOWN. what are the neighbors info...you know things EVERY PARENT WOULD NORMALLY GIVE YOU WHEN THEY LEAVE THEIR CHILDREN. The response I received is "oh Jacques knows what to do. It will be fine." I asked several more times before they left. I know how stupid kids are, and how they do stupid kid things, because they are...KIDS.
I ask Jacques for details and he says that his mother and tiger dad keep all of their passports and medical information and that he has important phone numbers and I shouldn't worry...I worry

Last night I sent Charlotte to bed without lunch and dinner because she ate her weight in candy and gum and lied about it. She ransacked her brother's room and my room looking for candy (my sore throat cough drops) and anything sweet. Stashed all her newly found booty in her room (family sized jar of Nutella, 2 litters of Lime Schwepps, the list is long) She said that her dad said that she could have them. I have zero tolerance for liers and absolutely disdain for theives. She moved to the top of my SHIT list. She thought I would be like her mom and dad and give in and take her a plate of food or happily accept her apology...ummm NO. I told her that she can have her candy she stole for lunch and dinner. I also told her brothers if they gave her ANYTHING, they would be on the same meal plan as well. We go to bed with no arguments and she cries herself to sleep.

I get up and go to the main house to see the kids. The boys report me that Charlotte got up, ate breakfast, cleaned her room, and was now practicing her alphabet...I'm thinking "we'll see how long this last". Charlotte greets me with a happy bonjour and wants me to look over her work. I oblige her in this 'farce'. I go back to my house to clean up and do yoga...an hour later I hear a scream and Pierre runs to me yelling "Charlotte fell, there's a hole in her head, her eye is bleeding. There is blood!!! There is blood!!!" I quickly go over while thinking "of course there's blood." I'd told her time and time and time again not to play on the veranda in flip flops. The house is on a cliff and is not child friendly or proof by any stretch of the imagination. I get there and can see EXACTLY what happened because blood was everywhere. When I got down to the bottom of the stairs I half expected to see a dead child. I've never seen so much blood in my entire life. How does so much blood come out of a 6 year old!?!??!?! I make sure nothing is broken and try to see what is actually bleeding and I see the hole. I almost pass out because it was like a fountain of blood. I pick her up and take her to the bathroom. She's crying and her brothers are 120% in panick mode and yelling. I tell them to bring me the First aid kit. They tell me "we don't have a first aid kit". I tell them I thought I saw your mom buy it last month when we went shopping. They tell me "oh, she said that wasn't necessary". I roll my eyes say "of course". I start wiping the blood off and see that her eyes are ok and its a slit that 'looks' like a hole and that she probably need stitches or something, but we need to go to see the doctor. I tell Jacques call the neighbors and tell them what happen and they well need to go to the hospital and Pierre to bring me MY little'JOHNSON AND JOHNSON I NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT' FIRST AID KIT. I try to apply pressure with a million little gauzes, but it will not stop bleeding. I ask Jacques for medical information or anything identifying Charlotte so that the hospital will know. He tells me "we don't have anything like that" I look at him and smile and tell him to try and get ahold of tiger mom or dad. He then tells me that Alain is on another flight and its not landed and his mom is in a meeting. Thank God for responsible neighbors. They came and wondered why we can't contact the parents and why they didn't leave the kids information with me...I simply shrug my shoulders and shake my head. We go to a Pharmacy (because you can see a doctor there and tell you what to do) buy some adhesive stips. We then go to another neighbors house(that turned out to be a doctor on vacation) and thought that he could fix Charlotte right up...Nope he couldn't. He did not have his tools. Thats how we ended up in the hospital emergency waiting. The hospital told us that they could not really help or release Charlotte unless a parent called or came to ok her release. Jacques looked at me and said "my mom will never call. she never comes or answers her phone in emergencies". So we wait and wait and wait. Alain, tiger dad, calls and he seems frantic and concerned. He talks to the hospital and sends all the information they needed for Charlotte to get test ran and whatever necessary things you need to do as a parent. 7 hours later tiger mom calls(Jacques said because Alain called her and said that Charlotte has a hole in her head so that was enough of an emergency to call) sounding worried and said that she got a new number (is anyone surprised here?!?!). 9 hours later Charlotte is given instuctions,headache meds, wound cleaners, bandages and all sorts of fun things. We graciously thank the neighbors for all their help. We get back to the house and I carefully throw myself and Charlotte into the bathtub and begin scrubbing all the, now somewhat dried, blood off. I hand wash our blood clothes wishing I had some Tide...because Tide is best known for getting blood out. Still don't know why they advertise that on the box when I was younger, but whatever. Just another Saturday

So done with Visa procedures and BS

So I got my visa. 3 months, multiple entry...I know ridiculous. I tell Joe and he says "lets get you back to china 1st and we'll figure out the rest when you get here. Keep your calm".Now, I will have to meet Joes "guy" and do what everyone else does and go with the flow when I get back to Shanghai. Joe isn't in Sally Field (Not Without My Daughter) mode so thats a plus.

Reasons I can't keep my calm:

1. I fill out the form and my options
-One entry valid for 3 months from application
-Two entries valid for 3 to 6 months from application
-Multiple entries valid for 6 months from application
-Multiple entries valid for 12 months from application
I of course I chose 12 month...little did I know. I go to the counter and they ask me which one I would like. I point to the one I CHECKED and they say "oh no you can't have that one, you're not a French national". I tell them "ummm ok. I choose door number 3 'Multiple entries valid for 6 months'. He looks at me and says "how about 2 months and 2 entries". I ask him "are we negotiating, do I have that option?" He says the most I can get is 6 months with 2 entries. I tell him "I'll take it". He then tells me "ok, lets try that one" I didn't realize that that discussion was metaphorical. I ended up with 3 months and multiple entries (what wasn't even and option on the application) I swear they make this shit up as they go. Whatever.
I pick up my visa and passport and they don't charge me a processing fee (I didn't ask and I didn't care why. I saved 70Euro in the process)

Another reason I'm not keeping my calm very well...

2. Tiger dad, Alain, tells me that next salary will be less because Hairong deducted the things I bought in Paris from my salary. I told him that the things "I" bought in Paris were paid for BY ME. Alain said that Hairong mention buying me a few clothes and items. I told Alain that she bought those things on her own and how dare...I stopped mid sentence and said "its fine, I will talk to her when she returns to France"(I'm thinking "WTF is wrong with this woman. Did the debt ceiling issue in the State hit her pocket book straight on??!??!!") The nerve of these people. They secretly want me to watch their kids and don't want to compensate for the work I ACTUALLY DO. I'm guessing they're never met anyone from South Dallas, Texas USA. (don't worry, I'm not going to pull the earrings off and go "sista girl" on them yet...I'm keeping my class in tact) I have my visa now so I'm feeling bolder and completely impatient with silly people. Alain gives me this news after Jacques tells me that his mom told him the day before "I really don't want kids.I thought you guys would be able to make me proud, but I was wrong" I thought Jacques was exaggerating but he showed me the email. (mind you in Chinese it sounds 100 times worst then how he simplified it to me in English)
WHO THE HELLS SAYS THIS TO THEIR CHILDREN??!?!?!?

I listen and tell him that maybe she's stressed with work and blah, blah, blah its hard for her too. (I have trouble saying this myself) He looks at me and says "I'm sorry my mom lied to you about many things" I looked at him and gave him a hug and told him he shouldn't apoligize for his mothers behavior. When the hell did my life turn into some Lifetime Original movie? I have no idea what to do with these people.
Tiger dad leaves tomorrow for Germany and he's done with the kids for the summer. Its me and the kids for a few weeks. I've started setting rules for the kids.
*No yelling at each other (no one has tail so don't treat each other like you're animals. Act like a human)
*If you want to eat, you will help (they're in habit of sitting at the table waiting to be served sometimes. I told them "as prince and princess like as you THINK you are, we are all going to work equally"
*Turn the Damn TV off CHARLOTTE (Charlotte is thrown in front of the television whenever tiger mom and dad are too busy or don't care about her performing for them. I told the boys "sit down with her and teach her the alphabet...this is bullshit that she doesn't know that much. I said bullshit so they understood HOW serious I was)
There are about 10 more, but I won't go into too much detail. Most of them are common sense, but they were never taught (especially Miss Charlotte)

“He who teaches children learns more than they do”
-German Proverb

clearly

“Why is my mom crazy?”

This is what Jacques, the 14 year old, oldest son came to my house and asked me a few days ago. All I could think about was “don’t you want to know about sex, or where babies come from, or what our existence in life is all about?” These are questions I can and would rather answer. You cannot tell a 14 year old that his mother is money crazy and insane. If I’m not mistaken, these are very fragile times in their lives…so I’m told. Plus I was 14 once too. (long time ago) Thankfully he only wanted to vent his frustrations about tiger mom’s most recent phone call yelling session. She calls every few hours to let Alain and the kids know that she is working hard on buying, selling, making money and that they are all pretty useless people. (I really wish I was exaggerating…) She sends me emails telling me to keep up the good work. (I have no idea what this means or why she does this) I’m not sure if she and Alain are competing for worst/craziest/richest parent awards or what. Alain doesn’t make a move without calling/texting her. I get paid every 2 weeks and I asked Alain if Hairong wants me to wait till she gets back or what (honestly I almost forgot a few times because they pay for everything) was the plan. I was quickly brought to reality when I was looking for apt and so many places are looking for 4 months up front. Security (1 month) + rent (3 months) + agent fee (35% of 1month). I’ve thought a few times “why on earth did I come to France. Even if tiger mom is paying me, it’s not that much?!?!?!” I come to my senses and think ‘this is a once in a lifetime opportunity…stop bitching’. So Alain says “oh yes I will give you your salary, not a problem” I also tell him that “I only got half salary the last 2 times” He looks around confused and says “oh ok, Hairong didn’t tell me that”. I say “maybe she forgot”. AMAZING!!!! I’ve roughly calculated how much money I’ve seen tiger mom spend. 3 houses bought + 1 helicopter + 1 or 2 boats + 1 house sold + million Euro shopping spree in Paris + all the things she’s bought for the houses (it’s a restoration hardware meets Florida coast style. I can’t even explain it) = you can pay the English teach the 300Euro you are SUPPOSE to give her without her reminding you. Don’t get me wrong I’m not bitter or angry. I am dumbfounded. She’s bought me a few things so I don’t feel like being a pest, but give me a break. Buying ME things that YOU like (some of them I like too) isn’t the same. Jacques knows my frustration with his mother and therefore finds comfort in telling me HOW crazy she can be. I don’t sit around and mom bash with him. I just listen. He tells me that Charlotte is being taught that her brothers are small insignificant men and they can’t tell her anything. (Which is one of the reasons Charlotte and I are in a fight right now) Alain and Hairong treat her like a fun toy prize. She can speak like an adult in French and Chinese, but she can’t read or write in any language (that’s just unacceptable). I’ve watched her “perform” at dinner parties and it’s so disturbing. I’m starting to believe when Pierre told me “they only wanted a girl child and now they don’t want to bother with her education.” Jacques told me that he’s tried to sit down with her to help her but she tells him “Fuck off. I have more money than you and you can’t tell me anything” (Said in Chinese) I witnessed it a few times. I’ve banded her from my house because she thought it was cute to talk to her brothers like a lil sailor in from of me. I told her, via Pierre’s translating, I have no need for bad/rude/mean girls around me. I am a nice person and I like nice people. She went and told Alain. Alain asked her what did she say for me to say what I said…she replies “nothing, danielle hates me and I hate her.” I’m sure if I had a parenting bone in my body I would be more reasonable with her, but I don’t so I won’t. She has no one around her telling her when something is wrong and because she’s cute she thinks it’s ok to do really shitty things. I told Jacques to tell her “I’m cuter and I can be meaner. I will not tolerate awful children”. Since tiger mom said conveniently that she “couldn’t assist me with my visa”, and not paying me as agreed. My patience disappeared.
No worries though, I’m still enjoying myself. I’m doing phone interviews (maybe not a good idea) and job/apt searching everyday by the beach. I adjust well to situations and circumstances. It was looking out for number 1 in the beginning and still is.

UN-BELIEVABLE...or not

I went to the Marseille Chinese consulate and dropped off my 8 page visa application along with, hopefully, EVERY COPY AND LETTER AND ITINIRARY THEY MIGHT NEED. Fingers crossed. Joe thinks it’s all good now, but I will wait til I have it in my hand. I know I’ve said it before, but it is EXTREMELY uncomfortable surrendering your passport to ANYONE. The work hours for this place are T-TH, 9-12. No visa assistance on Thursdays. Also they are not available 11-12 (so you say the hours SHOULD be posted 9 to 11, yeah I agree) I think they consider it lunchtime, but why not go home and eat, SINCE YOU CLOSE AT 12! Whatever. I’m not surprised. The Chinese consulate in Chicago was equally retarded with the ‘work hour’ (literally hour)
Joe called me to tell me that his 9 stitches have been removed and doctors said he’s doing good and “I told you it was nothing” (whatever). He also called to report to me that when he went to pay my phone bill that my balance owed was at 2500RMB (approx 350USD) I laughed (I had Destiny’s Child “Bills, Bills, Bills” in my head all of a sudden. No man has offered to pay my phone bill…EVER) and he asked “what’s funny, I’ve not told you the best part”. He asked me why it was so high. I reminded him that I have a Chinese number that I’m using to call the States and France (seriously not that much or that often) I look at the phone and just THINK about using it and there seems to be a charge. Tiger mom said I can use one of her phones, but I can’t figure out how to dial numbers ANYWHERE (there’s different number combination for dialing every country whether it’s a land line vs. mobile phone, day time rates vs nighttime, what time zone are you in vs the time zone you call. I feel like my dad trying to use the internets. So I gave up. So frustrating.) I asked Joe “you didn’t pay that did you?"He laughs “well, sort of”. He then explains to me how the sales rep at China Unicom told him “that’s too much. Don’t pay that”, after seeing the balance. The rep looks up my account and sees that my SIM card was never registered and Joe tells them my hellish story or trying to send them facsimiles (true damn story) of my information because that was the only way they would register me + my SIM card. The rep asked if I bought it on the street and he told them I had bought it at Best Buy. (thank you Best Buy for leaving China…ugh) The rep laughs and told Joe “since the card was never registered and there are no traces of who the owner is…don’t pay and wait for service to end August 31st. Then get a new SIM card”. I asked Joe if this conversation happened in the back alley and then thought about it “of course, only in China would this happen.” In broad daylight, at the Service Counter of the phone carrier main office. He paid the rep 200RMB (approx 30USD) for the advice (which he happily accept I’m sure). Which turns out was what he thought the phone bill would be.
The private school that I was working hard at to make “international”, contacted me saying “they would love for me to return for the Fall semester teaching when I get MY Visa ISSUE figured out” I could only scream, internally, YOU ARE THE SUPPOSE TO TAKE CARE OF MY VISA ‘ISSUE’. WHAT KIND OF SCHOOL ARE YOU? I did not and will not reply. I got other ‘issue’ to think about.
Unbelievable
News on the home, FRANCE, front:
None. Its been very quiet since Tiger mom left. I’ve not been 100% feeling well, so the kids come to my house when they want to study or bring me their homework. Its like a vacation for us all while mom is away. We’re not on the move NONSTOP. I can rest. I’m trying to get a workout and Chinese lesson daily routine but it seems impossible. Because I am lazy.
Blah.

I need to organize my pics. To show that I was at the Eiffel Tower (I swear this isn't photoshopped...tiger moms camera is crazy) Charlotte likes to give me flowers. We're in a fight and she's calling a truce. Then she took a photo of me with said flower, with extremely chocolatey fingers and proceeds to dropping the camera...Truce off.

~Anne

This is how it is

While Jo is looking for various ways for me to enter China I'm caught in an ongoing 'As the World Turns' episode.

I’ve somehow caught a cold and didn’t want to pass up some promenade strolling,crepe eating, art looking in Cannes, St. Tropez, and Nice. So enjoy a few pics of me trying to have a good time with a runny nose and headache.

As promised, Agnes (the first wife of Hairong ex-deceased husband) came for a visit. I understood after she left what “special relationship” meant. Hairong has her working on French documents and running errands. Agnes happily obliges, while giving the boys French lessons. (I crashed a few lessons because I could use them as well) She’s this 65 year old woman that smokes like a chimney, and is very slow talking and patient. I like when I’m able to get different sides and versions of stories. (I apologize in advance. I feel like I’m airing these folks dirty laundry, but whatever. They shouldn’t be so ridiculous)
Agnes told me her about her place, or role I should say, in this family. She said that she still loved her ex-deceased husband (Bernard is his name) and that she was with him the last few weeks he was alive (she told me not to tell Hairong that and that also Bernard’s last wish was for Agnes to ‘fix’ immigration papers so that the Russian and HER 2 kids with him, can stay in France. Hairong would have them kicked out immediately after Bernard died). My ‘share EVERYTHING with me’ sign must have been shining brightly for her, because she did not hold back. She told me that Hairong still loved the “SOB” and how she is still upset to this day that she didn’t ‘win’ Bernard completely. After chasing her for 10 years, he still ran off with the Russian girl (ummm who wouldn’t be) Anges says she’s worried about the boys and how sheltered they are kept. Agnes has 3 boys from Bernard (papa was a rolling stone) they worry about their step brothers Jacques and Pierre with Hairong’s ‘child rearing’ methods. That seems unanimous with everyone that knows the family. She said she would take them if she didn’t have her own family problems (90 year old mother has cut almost everyone out of the will and if she should die in a suspicious way, all of her money goes to charity. The mom lives in a castle afraid of her child in northern France. Agnes “I think she will try to take her money with her”) I think I’ve had enough practice hearing these stories that I can keep a straight face. (in my head I’m thinking, “what did Alexis do now to Crystal”-Dynasty reference if you didn’t know)
Agnes stayed with me in one of the houses I am currently living in on the compound. She tells me that she knows that Hairong doesn’t trust her and thinks she’s a begging snake. (I look at her thinking “well hairong said viper fox, but I guess its about the same”) Anges says that she only keep useful people around her. She says “I use to work in the government so I understand certain paperwork better than most. Hairong knows this well." She tells me to be careful not to upset Hairong, because you don't want to be on her bad side. She leaves and gives me her contact information in Paris and tells me "just in case, you just never know here. don't tell hairong. it will be the end for you"...I smile and thank her and wish her luck with her family. (what the hell else could I say?)

Jo tells me "He who sups with the devil should have a long spoon" after I complain to him about my woes(because he's an old man and likes to speak in proverbs for some reason...
I'm learning about many interesting sides to Hairong. I told her she should write a book...maybe I will help her (quite possibly without her knowing)

I must now go eat some 5 bean and rice soup to get rid of my cold. Hairong made it, cause she knows best...

nothing is free...

As some of you know, Hairong has asked me to help her find her youngest son Pierre a place to live, go to school, someone to watch him like prisoner on death row in the good ol' U S of A.
Her ONLY requirements...
-A family with 1 or more children that plans to go to Harvard or any other top school in the US
-A 2 parent home (mother and father)
-One of said parents should be a professor or teacher
-Said parent should work at the school where Pierre with be attending (so that they can watch him throughout the day)
-Someone that can cook, clean, take him to school and pick him up.
I look at her waiting for the punchline, cause this has GOT to be a joke. It wasn't. She was quite serious.
Completely irrational and unreasonable...what do I do...Of course I start looking. I don't think I know that many people or have enough experience with rich folks and their strange problems, but I do know I’m resourceful as hell.
So I gathered a small list of schools and options. I explain to her that it will cost a lot because NO ONE does this...for cheap anyway. (you’re asking someone to raise your child for crying out loud) After she scoffs at how expensive children are, she asked if I had family that would like to do something like this. I told her that my family would probably be MUCH MORE expensive to work with. (much like me, my family sees an opportunity and should be paid properly for it) At this point I've already started to realize that this woman has no idea what to do with her children. Whether raising them or educating them. Her fanciful idea of raising children and being a mother are turning out to be soooo far from her ideal. She treats the children like employees.(They get yelled at about once or twice a day) They don't have any friends they can go socialize or play with, nor do they have freedom to do anything. I really am worried about these boys.
Hairong and I went to Paris for a few days (she had a Dr appt, but really she wanted to get away. Apparently she can't be with her kids more than 2 or 3 days at a time) she spent about a quarter of a million euros on clothes and some other useless things. We came back to Toulon and the boys asked their mother when will they get to get some clothes (they needed them. They wear the same 5 pants, shirts, underwear everyday). We go to carrefour (walmart of france) to get the boys a few pants and underwear. Hairong won't let them pick out their own things and she only wants to spend 30 euro on both of them.(yes thats about $43USD)I looked at this spectacle in pure astonishment. Pierre showing his mom something he likes and looked to be pretty cheap and her tell him "no, that’s too much". I watched her in Paris (with her personal shopper in every store we went to) just pick up and buy. Not one time did she look at a price tag. Now you can't tell people how to spend their money or raise their their kids, but do you have to feign poverty with it comes to the kids basic needs. At first I thought she was teaching the boys the value of a dollar and not to be spoiled and blah blah life lessons, but come on. You just bought 4 helicopters and sold your castle. Throw the kids a damn bone...
The boys happily accepted the precious scraps they were thrown and thanked their mother. I'm still dumbfounded from witnessing this. The boys later told me that they understand how things work with their mother and that she won't change. I don't get it and its not for me to understand.
Hairong does find it strange that I don't live and work in the States making millions since I am "so smart and attractive". I keep telling her its not that easy (or even like that). I tell her I was just above poor living in Chicago. She laughs at me and says "you don't need to be modest with me". I try very hard to explain to her that, sadly there are millions of people better looking and smarter than me. She replies "oh you will find a good husband and family soon to settle down with" as if to encourage me. I cannot understand how someone so worldly and well traveled, does not understand that I'm not being overly humble nor do I need to 'settle' down to feel 'complete'. I can only guess its a cultural, age, economic level difference. All she hears is "how much you win" (I've come to understand, speaking to Jacques the oldest son, that this is Chinese thinking of "what you make, your salary") I explain to Jacques that maybe there's some erroneous translating on some ones part, but I don't win money. I work hard and EARN money.
Let’s just say, that attitudes have changed toward me since I’ve told her that its not going to be as simple at she would like to find places for her son nor will the fact she has money make me act differently. I think the free ride is over. Its fine because I knew this was coming. Nothing is free.

Next installment: Agnes (not Annez as I thought)…the ex wife comes for a visit

Trying to take one day at a time,

-Anne

Jo is ok and I'm feeling better but...

I've started writing many times and kept stopping because its unbelieveable the things I'm experiencing...

Hairong and I have had many heart to heart conversations these past few weeks. It breaks my heart that someone so rich, sweet, kind, and scary can have the life she's living. She's so worried about her sons and what’s going to happen to them after she’s gone. She is clueless about how to educate boys that have been given such a life and don't have the same drive and determination she does. It seems she's lonely and has few confidantes.

So this is the story...
She is not married to the tiger father apparently. (I KNOW, RIGHT! THAT IS THE TIP OF THE DAMN ICEBURG) Tiger dad, Alain, has and an ex-wife and 3 children, ages from 17 to 27. They all go to Alain for money. Hairong said she won't marry him, because she doesn’t' want any of her money to go to lazy, selfish people that don’t work or want to be proper members of socitey...(I'm with her on that!!!) I've met 2 of the children. French guys are afraid of their kids, no joke. Alain has told his children all the homes (12 on 3 different continents) that Hairong has bought and own are his homes and its ok for them to call it 'their' home. I've see fire in Hairong eyes when he's said this (I’ve heard it many times now). Hairong has told me on many occasions that she’s never married or would marry for money. She is extremely hard working and driven. The 'home' Alains kids liked the most is in Normandy (its a chateau, no exaggeration. a damn castle). The kids complained a few weeks ago about some things needing 'fixed' and that they needed more help (they can't possible wash their own clothes or cook themselves) and that their father should take care of it.
Without warning or notice, Hairong and I took a train to Normandy 3 days ago. Met 3 very good looking men at the castle. She signed some papers and told me, "fin, this place is full of bad memories.” We headed back to Toulon. She sold the place to some neighbor that had been asking to buy it for the past 10 years. She told Alain when we came back to Toulon "you should tell the children thats not 'home' anymore. Now what should I make for dinner”. Hairong has been with Alain for over 10 years now. She says she MIGHT marry him when she’s 80 or something, but not a second before. She’s explained to me that the laws in France are not fair if the woman has more money than the man. C’est la vie.
Then there is the 1st wife of her husband that ran off with the Russian girl (Russia girl was his 3rd wife). Jacques and Pierre’s father…Her name is Annez and she is probably the scariest person next to Alain’s kids. She works as a teacher in Paris. Had been divorced from Hairong’s husband 10 years before Hairong married him. She says they are “special friends”. The people around Hairong make me really understand that saying “keep your friends close and your enemies closer”. Annez has tried to pay off a few of Hairong’s drivers to get evidence that could be used against her and have have Hairong committed to an insane asylum. In addition to the heart to hearts I’ve had with Hairong, I’ve spoken with a lot of the help since I’ve known the kids. I have a face that looks like I should be told these things I guess…
Anyway, that’s the main cast of characters I’ve been dealing with on the regular. I’m sure more will follow. Focus now is on visa. Joe really thinks I don’t want to come back, so I need to prove him wrong.

Really wish you all were here with me to witness the going ons here, alas...

Love,
Tired anne w/ an 'e'

"Great geniuses have the shortest biographies" -Emerson

I suffered from a little too much heat on "La Fête Nationale" (no one here calls it Bastille Day, so I felt like a tool trying to explain what I was talking about...)
Charlotte brought me flowers (in a glass that her mother would kill her if she found out it became a planter) as I layed in bed and she sat and watched me sleep. I woke up and told her that I'm not dying, so 'wo bu xihuan hua' (i don't want flowers) merci beaucoup. The girl is hilarious.

my problems are small...i know

When he finally called, Jo seemed fine. He’s worried and didn’t want me to be worried. So this was his logic behind not really explaining things to me in the first place. He’s looking for a doctor that is or could be somewhat reliable. In China, this is very complicated. Many foreigners I know say that they just go home for any major medical procedures. This may sound racist but considering Jo is from Nigeria, I’m not sure if healthcare is really that much different from China. (think what you want, but I’m American. I take things for granted…I know) The doctors in China are crazy because they see a million people daily. The international hospitals are ok, but extremely overpriced. (no surprises there) So finding someone that understands your health problem AND someone to take care of it are massive upheavals. If you’re educated and able to question things, they tend can get very defensive. (losing face and all)
He says he’ll keep me posted…I can only hope he does. Meanwhile he text messages me that he’s putting more money on my phone because we keep talking so much (WHOSE FAULT IS THAT?!?!?) GUYS ARE DUMB.
I’m 15 days into this little joyride and/or holiday thing. Tiger dad has shown up and the family is all over the place. They want to remodel the 3rd house and move furniture around and blah, blah, blah domestic things I’m not interested in. I think I will venture out on my own more now. The Chinese drivers and the ayi’s (maids) 30 day visas are almost up so I wonder what will happen. I’m sure it will be fine.

So news on the Shanghai front…

Those idiots at the pimp school have lost their minds. So apparently my students don’t like their replacements (cause I can’t teach while I’m in France) and they want me to return as soon as possible. The head lady was fired and the new ‘john’ is even crazier. Someone thought it was a good idea not to pay me my salary from the last 2 months to make sure “I come back”. What is wrong with people?!?!?!?! I will deal with that when I return to Shanghai. Now to take one challenge at a time…get back to Shanghai.
That’s all for now. I will post more pics later. I look forward to reading my snail mail (^_^)

the boyfriend...Arghhhh

Jo (I'm not sure why I don't spell it Joe, but whatever) has called me frequently since my arrival. I know he misses me and thinks this is a good opportunity for me, but he insist I try to see everything possible. China and France were never on my bucket list, but life happens. I try not to complain. I'm grateful for this and all my opportunities.

I appreciate Jo, whether he's obsessing over some football (soccer match), working late hours, sneaking smokes, dragging me places or whatever. I like him. Although he talks of 'future' and whatnot, I still like him.
Last time I spoke to him, he told me "From looking at your pics, France is making you more beautiful. I wouldn't blame you if you stayed there". I laughed and thought "if I could afford such a lifestyle...maybe."

I received a text message today from him saying, "I have to go the hospital for surgery. I will be in for 4 days. They need to remove 2 lipomas. I will call you later" WHY ON EARTH DID HE TEXT MESSAGE ME!?!??!?! You call me every damn day to tell me what you're wearing and what you eat and ask me what I did...but you don't share this detail with me. I don't know if its a guy thing, but he is ridiculous. Now I am WAITING for him to call. I don't wait, but since I like this guy, I guess I have no choice. I would give more details, but I don't have any. Arghhhhh

signed

-Anne with and 'e'(e for enraged)

sorry just venting

Without fail, I get sick in a new place

I feel like the most inconsiderate houseguest ever. Tiger mom suggested I move back to the main house so that I can be looked after. I told her that I'm fine and its because I've been eating like a pig the past few weeks, so no worries. She laughs and says (channeling her very Chinese side)"oh you silly Americans and your week systems. Almost every American I know that comes to China, France, or anywhere abroad, seems to need time to adjust. But its ok, I will make you plenty of good soup." I can't argue this point and simply say "oui, madam"

I'm not sure that I mentioned that she's been cooking lunch and dinner almost everyday. The ayi and 1 of the drivers were sent back to China to help the family of the "accidental death/murdered" father. So we have one driver and no ayi (maid)now. (until the father, thats currently doing business in Germany comes his 2 kids from a previous wife and house staff) The children clean, wash, organize the house. She has an army.

I've only had energy to lay on the beaches. So we've been to 6 different locations. I might have had too much sun. I have zero energy and alway dizzy. Tiger mom said if it continues "we're going to the doctor". She is very excited to show me how the health system works and where here tax dollars are going. She has a business meeting with some Swiss company in Monaco on Thursday and I told her I would tag along for the Monaco part if I was up to it. She said that the driver can take me around. I laughed at her and said "oh no, thats ok, I'll go old school with public transportation". She looked at me very confused "why would you do that"....
I scratch my head in confusion and said "well I can get to know the city that way". She says ok "driver zhou can follow". I told her "I will have the driver drive me" I saw a look of "of course you will" on her face. She is definitely in control. Oh Type A personalities, I do enjoy letting them think they won something.

I've given the boys lessons. Reading and writing assignments (at least I'm trying to give them 20euro and hours worth)They humor me and then go play. this place has everything so its very hard to leave. I think Tiger mom planned it that way. I could go out and be a tourist, but its really easy to act like a native. Get up, go to the market, go to the backyard and lay by the sea and just let the day pass. Come in for an amazing lunch. Read on the terrace. NAP...YES NAP. Go swimming and layout on the boat. Come in for some 6 or 7 course dinner. Go for a walk around the compound. Watch a light show or whatever the hell is going on along the coast line...

I know I shouldn't but I could get use to this life. Extremely dangerous. I thought the 1st few beaches we went to were nude beaches. No every beach we've visited has naked folks walking around. I'm not getting any ideas, but its interesting how laid back everything and everyone is here.

Ok, I'm going to attempt to help with dinner now.

love, love you all

-anne with an 'e'

The local frenchies in the soutth...

Do not like me. I'm sure its in my head, but I can feel the eyes rolling as I desperately form sentences. I am also not being stared at here like in China. (My popularity is down here...black folks everywhere.) I finally decided that the youngest daughter of tiger mom will just go with me when I need a fanyi, translator. She doesn't really speak english, but what little chinese and french I do know, she can understand and translate. We've become a comedy act. We SHOULD be famous.

setting: random boutique

situation: I want to try on shoes size 8, medium dress, 2 shirts
problem: store lady has zero patients with my slow speaking.
Enters Charlotte...

(charlotte in chinese to me) what are you doing?
(me to charlotte in chinese) she doesn't want to help me.She crazy
(charlotte in french to sales lady) excuse me ma'am, will you please assist my friend
(me to charlotte in a chinese french mess of sentences) i want to try this and that in this size
(charlotte to sales lady in french. slow enough for me to hear ever word she said)do you understand, it was very simple. I understood.
(sales lady)yes

I don't think Charlotte knows what the word sarcasm means, but she can put it out there.
Charlotte giggled at me while the sales lady went to gather the things I asked for. I quickly remembered she was 5 years old. Without a doubt, she is her mother's daughter.

Livin' my life like its golden...

It started with a mushy and funny send off from Jo. We had lunch at the airport and he hilariously carried around my stuff and held my hand like I'd need flown before. He asked if I was coming back and I told him yes. Now I'm here...I wonder.

I will try to make a long story short...

I fly to Paris and discover that the young girl that lives with the 2 boys I am going to France with, father either killed himself or accidentally died in a "boating" incident a few days before. Tiger mom is worried and think its tied to some people he owned about 2 or 3 million dollars...US dollar. Maybe russian mafia...I don't know

Pictured above is where I'm writing my blog from in the main house. I think thats the Atlantic or something.

I get to Paris and Tiger mom picks me up and tells me why I was rererouted. This is probably the first time in my life that I've traveled and not looked at a map or figured out transit or anything before arriving. I have, for some reason, left it up to Tiger mom to take care of things. She seems like a Type A personality so whatever. I let perfectionist do their thing, especially if they're my benefactors.

We go to the hotel because its 9pm and STILL BRIGHT AS HELL OUT, drop off my things and go to a restaurant nearby. Apparently Parisians don't really like Paris.(or so says tiger mom to me over a glass of wine) We go to bed because I am sooooo tired from the 10 hour flight. She tells me that everything is taken care of and not to worry. We get up at 6am to pick the boys (the ones that love me and are the reason I am on this trip) from the airport. They were so excited to see me when they walked to the car. I yell 'Bonjour' and tell them "wo shi yao shuijiao" (I want to sleep)
We go to a hotel and have the most amazing breakfast. I am eating like a pig meat and ALL!!!! Perrie and Jacques look at me and tell their mother that they've never seen me eat like this. I look at tiger mom and tell her that I fear I will get fatter in France. She smiles and says "no worry, i won't let that happen" (I should worry)
Pierre is pictured below amazed at my eating ability

We go to the Paris Air Show and I understand why Tiger mom is kind of a big deal. She hands me all of these flair pins and crap for me to wear so that we can get into planes, not wait in line, sit on rooftops watching the show drinking wine, eat with millionaires (pictured below),and so on

We somehow end up spending 8 hours there and I'm so so tired. I don't remember eating just going to bed. We wake up and I have no idea whats the plan for today. Tiger mom calls my room and tells me that I should come down to breakfast. I go down and the hotel has the largest most delicious looking buffet I've ever seen. I pile everything on my plate. I'm not sure why I did that. It wasn't the last supper and I wasn't that hungry. Tiger mom leans over and quietly tells me "en france we don't mix everything. sweetie you're not in America. Enjoy your food slowly...its not going anywhere." I smiled and thought "WTF" and then immediately thought, she's right. I knew when I got all that crap I looked ridiculous. I didn't finish the food and Tiger mom informs me that instead of taking the train to London, we're going to drive through France to Toulon. "Doesn't that sound fun". I said ummm sure ok. I attempted to pay for breakfast and she wouldn't have it. She's given me cash and I've not spend one dollar on anything. I ask her when should I start classes with the boys, she replies "you're in France. Just enjoy yourself" What is going on here?!?!?So we set off on what became an 11 hour trip, stopping in 6 cities for wine and cheese and coke. We arrive at "the compound" (which is how I will refer to their summer home from now on) at 9pm. Tiger mom whips up a four course light meal for us and we watch the sun set. She apologizes for my house not being ready..."I dislike unreliable people because they're useless... Don't worry. The main house is fine for now." The compound consist of 3 separate living spaces that are small houses with 5 to 8 rooms each, and 1 main house with 15 rooms. The outside looks like something on the Florida coast with its brightly colored outside, the inside looks like a cottage from the book Jane Erye. Its not fancy, but its nice and quaint. I can't get a full picture of the compound because its position on a damn cliff surrounded by what seems to be a jungle of lavender flowers and all sorts of foliage and the ocean. Tiger mom bought it for her 50th Birthday a few years ago. I don't think she's as rich as I thought but seems to have a very powerful way of doing things.

Top pic is Tiger mom asking the Pilot how he likes flying.
Next pic is one of the helicopters she sales to different military agencies around the globe(arms and all)
The next pic is a helicopter she helped design and sells. Its a French/Chinese collaboration. Her "baby".
The last is of her after asking the owner "how much for this" and then laughs at the price.I'm not sure if it was too cheap or too expensive... she then hopped in it.


So tired now. I must nap before dinner. The eldest Jacques is cooking lasagna and vegetables. I think we're shopping in Marseille tomorrow.
I believe Tiger mom is grooming me for something by spoiling me rotten and I think I'm ok with it.

More to follow soon

missing everyone and wishing you all were here with me.

love,

Anne with and 'e'