What the hell am I doing?????

Dear Marilla,

This is what I've taken to saying to myself EVERY SINGLE day. I'm currently scurrying to find plane/train/mule/motorcycle tickets to Hong Kong because my 90 day stay is up and I don't have any visa sponsorship...(no worries found cheap airline tickets across Hong Kong border in Shenzhen. I get there and take the subway over the water and cross the border into Hong Kong for a few few days, then fly back to Shanghai. Piece of cake...right?!?!)
Anyway...

I have 13 - 15 students that are as irregular as they can come with cancelling and rescheduling our class sessions weekly/daily/hourly. So my time going to the "head pimp" for more students is not necessary. I can't budget to save my life here. First, I've not been paid for hundreds of minutes of works (getting paid by every 100 minute is by far the most ass backward system I've encountered...whatever) Secondly, getting paid once a month IS INSANE. Thirdly, I'm too busy teaching folks English to stop and crack down on MY mandarin...ARGHH!!!! So frustrating.

I apparently need some niche or unique selling point in order to do anything in the fitness industry here. I'm not trying to pull some Billy Blanks marketing shit, so I need something low key AND I enjoy...I'm working on that now as well. For some reason many here seem to think that being a Black American means "you can dj at any random club", "you can find a job anywhere"...ummm yeah NO

The places I've interview with must realize that I just want to do yoga all day and not much else. Still trying to figure out how I've sent out my resume to over 100 places and had 19 interviews and nothing. Yes I've turned down jobs for middle of China, Indonesia, and some other 3rd world places. Because I'm not ready for that and its not what I want to do right now. (The pay sucked too. I have USD bills to pay still and making something equivalent to $400USD a month is not what I want to subscribe to...sorry)

Which brings me to a new fact that I've found out about myself: my standards of living ARE pretty f'n high. Yes I've decided to live in the freaking NYC of China and YES I am unemployed and YES I should be more compromising with my living standards...BUT I AM NOT. While chatting with another english teaching working "whore", we talked about our expectations of living in Shanghai (what we will put up with and WILL NOT) We agreed "the american" comes out at times and we proudly become the asshole Laowai (foreigners) when we have certain expectations on hygiene, common courtesies, and human behaviors that should be "understood" as wrong are being displayed toward us. I'm a reasonable person, most of the time. I'm respectful of culture, but I draw the line when simple things are over looked. If I'm paying over 40RMB for a meal, I will need you to wash your hands.(I know, but $6 IS a lot here don't judge) No ifs, ands, or buts about this. I've strangely found my patriotism while being here...hilarious.

*Steps down from high horse*

So the hot fellas that were coming out of the wood works are all out of town for the holidays, so my networking mojo is a no go. Which is fine because I need to focus on not getting shipped back to the US and go to Hong Kong. No one should be jealous of my absurd life...seriously.

Sorry this post is so long, but I've not posted as often as I wanted this month. I will post pictures soon of stuff and things. Btw I didn't mention Xmas because I worked and was sick. Plus I'm indifferent toward it anyway so it doesn't really matter. Hope you all had a wonderful holiday. I'm told celebrations here are from December til February (Chinese New Year). Gives me plenty of time to join in on some festive activities...blah

love, love, love from shanghai to all.

signed,

Anne Shirley running to the border :)

a different type of whoring around

Yes Marilla, I said it. I've been ho-ing around. I've become apart of the English teaching prostitution game here in Shanghai. By way of one of the fellas I've met (lets call him pimp for consistency sake) Since I've not been able to find a full time job, I've taken on part time work at a few language schools/centers...thus my journey into the dark side of English teaching has begun.

I get a text message anytime from 3pm to 10pm that guy X and girl B need a tutor at Y time that day or next day. The location is sent to me in Chinese and I'm to show the cab driver and they will take me to whatever god forsaken place I'm being ask to go to...(its been mainly millionaire families that have money to throw away and around to give their precious child EXTRA lessons. I'm not complaining)
The students/parents pay for the cab and I get paid, hopefully in a month (200RMB per hour and you get paid once a month. I'm still in my 1st month, ugh...i thank my fairy godmother for the recent help in my money issue that i can't begin to calmly go into) If I don't get a text, I'm suppose to call or go by the language center/school, along with the rest of the "English teaching whores" and find out where my next "john" (student) will be. Its a little competitive, but I'm not trying to "choke a bitch" over some teaching job...no ma'am. Nothing but class over here.

I've acquired 5 regular students (customers). A 3yro girl, 6yro boy, 9yro girl, 17yro guy, 27 yro married mother. There are others that are on my regular schedule that are thrown in from time to time, but these are my staple private students. I'm in the process of figuring out proper lesson plans to guide them. This is challenging and what I needed. The married mother only wants to talk about makeup and "how is it you don't wear any?" The 9 year old girl has full on ADD and refuses to speak English. 6 year old boy just wants to read to me (less work for me). the 17year old high schooler is being forced by his dad to study so its complicated (having to tell him to do his homework so we can go over it)

The 3 year old scares me to death. Not because she's a kid (I might be over that lil problem), but because English is her 3rd language and she's smart as hell. She was born in the UK (nice loophole to get around the 1 child thing here in China apparently) and her family lived in Germany. So she speaks Chinese, German, and English. Did I mention she's 3 damn years old. She laughs at my weak attempts at speaking Chinese to her to explain English words, while singing "the wheels on the bus go round 'n round"...Her name is Happy. She's the sweetest and cutest thing ever. We have discussions on Winnie the Pooh and how Eeyore should be more prevalent in the stories. She's going to be a force to recon with one day. I asked her "do you know what world domination is Happy?"...she looks at me with her big 3 year old eyes "what is a dommimation, we look it up". I pat her on the head and tell her "you'll find out soon enough when you're running things"

thus my whoring continues...

Still unemployed, but not taking it personal anymore...

To my dearest Prince Edward Island family (meaning anyone reading this),

Its been too long I know, but I only wanted to report positive things...then I read my last not so uplifting post, oh well. I will try to stay upbeat or at least less homicidal. Let's see updates...

No job still and its ok (I think, that's what I keep telling myself). My requirements seem to be ridiculously high for these schools and/or they just don't want me. I've become indifferent with both instances. I've realized that I've not been taking full advantage of my contacts here in China so, I've started and they seem more than happy to give me very detailed pointers and helping me focus more. Another avenue I've somehow decided to take is dating...

I know, right! No judging (Anne Shirley would've definitely taken advantage of this er,ummm networking opportunity) As some of you already know the details, I'm getting to know a few fellas(5 guys of varying orgins and accents to be exact) I feel like I needed to get on board the "its not what you know, its who you know" train. A few of them have suggested some places and/or offered to pass my resume to someone. I'm shameless and I don't care. Plus the guys are hot so it really doesn't matter. Good looking people need to do more charity work for the "not as good looking" public.

My Chinese isn't progressing as quickly as I would like. I'm having trouble with a set schedule with my tutors, because of my random interviews. 11am or 6pm or 8am. These people are crazy with their "work hours". whatever. I'm learning phrases from the mafia aunties in the sauna. (I swear the ladies in the women's area of the gym are straight out of OZ. I'm not talking about Dorothy and some red slippers. I mean shanks and shivs HBO style) The women are rough around the edges and somehow I'm the helpless lamb that needs protecting (the aunties love talking about me and what I should do with my life. a bunch of Chinese life coaches great) Its all innocent so I don't care. I've been frequenting another location recently in Peoples Square. More straight eye candy there and the dance classes are better. I'm amazed, still, at some of the things I see here. I watched a girl do a "sexy jazz" class in tall furry ugg boots. I was so impressed by the end of the class. Oh and wearing jeans to the gym and happily running on the treadmill...I don't get it. whatever works for them I guess.

I've become besties with a DROP DEAD GORGEOUS Brazilian girl named Mavaleen(no clue how to spell that) we talk about her Russian husband and she tells me of all the best brunch places and clubs to go to. She let me know about salsa night at 4 different places thats really cheap. I stop her often and tell her "oh yeah I'm unemployed still so that pie in the sky sounds great" she laughs and says "oh Vladamir will treat" (side note: Vladamir is not her husbands name, but i can neither pronounce or pretend to spell his name. so for all intents and purposes lets call him Vladamir)
we laugh it off and it hit me recently, after watching sex and the city, that this girl reminded me of carries crazy Italian friend with all the luvers!!!! It became full circle and weird for me. I started watching sex and the city because SOMEONE HERE in shanghai at wagas coffee shop, told me that I reminded them of f'n CARRIE BRADSHAW. Since this was the 4th damn time, I decided to sit down and watch the show...I be damn if I don't have my own latin beauty giving me advice on how to live life. C'est la vie.

...more to come


*for you fbookers that have missed my posting of foods, a treat for you. Me cooking veggies (garlic,cilantro,bok choy, jimica, spinach, cabbage, daikon) that I put on a bed of brown rice with green chili peppers. oh and yes it was good!

too much internalizing

Now at the beginning of my 6th week here. After 9 interviews and no real solid ANYTHING, I'm feeling especially frustrated. I noticed my boiling frustration when a Shanghainese lady in her pajamas (cause low class Shanghainese people freaking walk around in their pajamas with some nice church shoes, most ridiculous thing ever) visibly scowls and scoffs at me saying "something, something Laowi". I looked at her and shook my head. All I could think was "can you seriously be judging me while you're in the state you're in". I bit my tongue and came home. I, unnecessarily, imagined all the people I'd interviewed with having the fucking nerve to look down on me.

My confidence won't be shaken, but I need to remember that I can't take this personal. Pretty sure its like teaching 20 four year olds (not strangling or killing them) for an hour and then being told by a somewhat dicey principal that they "want a male teacher". You have to be fucking kidding me. Its not like I could do a sex change mid lesson. You knew very well from the beginning whether you wanted male or female, please come up with a less bullshit excuse. That on top of the practices of the people in charge at the Scholastic office. The Shanghai division of Scholastic is a not ideal for me apparently. I've decided to write the Scholastic US main office and let them know that there is a poor representation of the tried and true Scholastic of the States. Not because I'm bitter, but because its true. (ok maybe 75% bitterness and not like they'll read it anyway) If I wanted to work in disorganized mess, I would've stayed at CIT...ugh.

I'm well aware that China is full of incompetent schools and people. Just know I've turned on my bullshit meter and I've worked for ridiculous people and companies that have had me honing my "calling bullshit" skills.

Come on Monday whatcha got...

I BELIEVE THE CHILDREN ARE OUR....whatever

This pass week, I've had to convince many people that I love and adore children. Those of you that know me, know that that involved some Academy Award winning performing. I don't hate children, I'm just not their biggest fans. Well it turns out teaching kids is lucrative here in China and the kids tend not be snotty ass brats like you find VERY often in the States.

I have a demo class tomorrow with some 4 year old. I have to impress the principal who will be giving me thumbs up or down and perhaps not kill the children. I'm a little nervous. I want to work for Scholastics (yes that's Scholastics!!!)

Any and everyone is looking for English teachers. My other interviews(5)were "quick and dirty" as Jake says. They ask you 8 questions and you're done. This is not a merit based society for sure. They like you or they don't for whatever rational/irrational reasons. We'll see if any of them call me back...

I'm still keeping all of my options open, sort of.
For example, I went to an interview today with a huge expat company Austen Morris Wealth Management Firm. 100% non Chinese, they don't hire Chinese of any kind. I'm sure some money laundering is happening with the "handling of off shore accounts and managing wealthy clients". Considering I'm looking for teaching jobs, I did not go into this interview with my A game. They were looking for a Business Development Director and somehow ended up with my resume. Whatever. Mr Very Large British White Guy whose name escapes me, was selling (interviewing) me on the position. I humored him...for about 15 minutes. I then asked him if this position involved "cold calling". He said yes and that you can make a lot of money here, because its commission based. I smiled and said "I hate to say it, but I'm not a good fit for this position." He graciously thanks me for my honesty and proceeds to go down some strange memory lane about "when I first moved to China...blah blah...now I'm making real...blah blah..." I kept thinking that I might as well hang around, not like I have a job to get to or anything to do today. The reception was keeping the lattes coming, so I couldn't really complain. He was an interesting fellow and the lattes were delicious. He ask me again if I was sure about the position because "you are very personable". I laugh and said like an asshole, "of course I am, but not over the phone. I don't do call centers". Mr Very Large British White Guy apologizes to me for taking up my valuable time and thanks me for coming. He begrudging walks me to the elevator, gives me a handshake and his card. I thought he was going to try and hug me because I listened and talked with him. (I'm not even kidding)I told him that I will add it to my Rolodex (do people still use those?) and that it was nice meeting him. I get on the elevator and started laughing loudly at how ridiculous I was for coming to Shanghai and having the balls to turn down (not like they really offered it to me) that job.

I will not have any regrets because "I believe the children are our future...blah blah blah"

Jake's gone to the States...lots of time to do some thinking on my own. oh boy

This is not China…

Almost a month in and it’s just becoming more and more entertaining. As I sit in the café recovering from dancing til 4AM and setting up job interviews for various Language Schools, it hits me that Shanghai is the Hollywood representation of China. Shanghai is not China. I think Chinatown in LA and Chicago are more Chinesey than Shanghai. Sarah, yes I’m on a first name basis with the employees at the café, just brought me my latte that I didn't ask for yet. I’ve become freaking Norm from Cheers. Not sure how I feel about this…good grief.
My cell contacts have increased to 10. To go from 200+ phone numbers to 0 to 10, is hilarious. Not being attached to my phone has been a life changing thing. I wish I was kidding. If you know me, you know that my phone was my right arm, boyfriend, child, soul. It’s embarrassing to admit, but whatever.
I’ve been “socializing” the past week. Going out and dancing like my life depended on it and meeting people. One of Jake’s school mate said “you really can dance and wasn’t lying about liking it”. HAHAAHHAHAHA, they don’t know. They will pffft.
It’s definitely a place that “its not what you know, it’s who you know”. I’ve not spent a dime going out, these people are crazy. A friend of a friend visiting here from DC told me that I’m working on my “Gwin qi”. This is why he’s in Shanghai. “Gwin qi” is the idea of meeting people and establishing and developing your worth with them. Scratch my back, scratch your back type of thing…
*(I apologize Marilla for all the idioms in this post, but that’s exactly how it is here)
My first mandarin lesson involved a lamented pinyin chart (thanks Jake for having that done!) Thomas, the teacher that’s in medical school and wants to work on his already good English, and myself desperate trying to mouthed and speak strange sounds. The pinyin chart looks like the Periodic Table of Elements…I’m not exaggerating or bullshitting you. Look here. Moving here is nowhere near as challenging as learning this language. I told Jeff that I would have a child (I don’t want to bear a child EVER!) and give it up to learn this language…that’s where my determination and/or craziness lies.


*pictures are from a day at century park with Thomas and Jake. It was a great fall day for walking around the park

...Bah!!!

The season is changing here Marilla. I've been here 17 days (12 of which I was actually conscious for), and it seems like I've been here forever. It feels like Chicago fall without the leaves changing and the lake smell. Its a little dreary but liveable. Turns out walking outside without a hat in the chilly rain can give you the sniffles...ugh. I just want to be a vegetable all of a sudden. Oh hey bank account, I know...I know.

I found a fancy version of Julius Meinl in Shanghai to do some JOB HUNTING at. Its appropriately called Wagas. Depot for non Chinese foreign jerks to hangout and listen to great music (i.e. Tracey Thorn remixes I've never heard before) while being snotty about their coffee (yes my hand is raise because I like good coffee, sue me). Super trendy but not obnoxious. Prices are so so (meaning cheaper then in the States but hilarious to pay more then 10RMB for a cup of coffee)...FREE INTERNET. Which isn't saying much, its free everywhere here. (They just block the HELL out of ALL the good sites) The coffee is illy, good salads and fruit that I've deemed safe for now. My paranoid diet has become crackers (there are a million varieties here for only 2-5RMB awesome), water, coffee, tea. I don't want the near death experience to happen again. At least not anytime soon.

How's that nosey Rachel doing Marilla? Sorry no scandalous stories for her to share with the world. There might be some youtube footage of me dancing with 10yr old plum whiskey, a dj, and a stage somewhere. I've blocked it from my memory...

You should be happy to know that as much as I've cursed the spreadsheet gods, I've started one for job searching. I think its a good idea to keep track of the people I'm meeting (not that its THAT many) and where I'm dishing the resume out to.

So I've discovered that most yoga studios want someone that speaks some Chinese in order to work there...fine. Learning Chinese just moved to #1 instead of #2. Now to start doing that.

Now thats all for me Anne with an "e"

*now enjoy my picture of me looking like I want a job and/or a prisoner maybe. not really sure. its bad either way, ARGHHHHH...


"Don't give up trying to find your way. But do remember that sometimes it takes bending to avoid breaking."
~Katinka Hesselink

The real transition and work begins

I didn't die, surprisingly, from the "China Bug", but I felt pretty damn close. Jake saw me at my lowest and he still wants to be my roommate...he's a keeper for sure.

So Eliz is gone and the time for Jake to leave for the states is growing closer. I will admit that I was a little nervous at first to think of being here by myself. Then I realized that I'm not by myself at all. I've discovered this thing called NETWORKING...maybe you've heard of it. I usually have a negative (moreso annoying actually) connotation with this term and never took the idea of it very seriously. I mainly associated it with people in suits having meetings, fake smiling and doing lots of dog and pony shows to impress. I'm well aware of my narrow minded view and will be the 1st to admit that that is a dumb way to look at it. I don't think I've really tried to "network" before per se, but I'm finding it interesting and useful now. I feel like a sponge wanting to meet and talk to people. I've never been this excited to look for work and actually want to meet people. (Because I don't like most people so this is kind of a big deal)

China was never on the list of places to go and actually live. Its always been Japan. After some encouraging words from Jake and Josh over some delicious soup and Baos, I laugh at myself for having doubts and feeling discouraged. Of course in my head I'm skipping and jumping in excitement (in the Mary Tyler Moore fashion of hat tossing and twirling in the street) I really am in my own little world sometimes. China will do for now. Its going to be my stepping stone. I am in Asia which was a goal...now to get even closer and learn a new language. Whose going to be marketable? HOLLA!!!! (I'm trying to pump myself up for this ridiculous hill I'm about to climb)

While Josh was here (all of 13 or 14 hours)I got to meet some really good people with his program and got some connects that live here in Shanghai!

I'm excited about going to the gym after being sick. Makes me angry when I feel like crap AND I can't workout. I did a 2 hour run/walk, weights, yoga session at the gym. I've seriously never wanted to be Madonna, but if her lifestyle lets her do ALL of those things ALL of the time...I seriously want to be her!

Now off to gym/network/get job and stuff...

~lovable Anne

the views...

Don't feel like writing, so look at pictures now... ayi lovely veggies

Feeling Blah

Dearest Diana,

I've discovered the pollution EVERYONE was talking about. Ugh. It was kind of miserable. It made my skin super dry (beyond cocoa butter levels) It felt life draining just walking across the street. Surprisingly, my asthma wasn't affected by the thick dense cloud that wafted through the city. I was given some Chinese pellets (I know, but it was safe) with ginseng, mint, a root (that I was not thankfully allergic to) and I felt better.
Jake is really handy with his phone and translated hanzi(Chinese character)to double check and make sure I won't die from ingredients. I'm really grateful...
Speaking of which, I had to get a new freaking phone that supported Mandarin because OF COURSE my WONDERFUL HTC does not. It supports every other damn language under the damn sun, except the one I need. Whatever I'm over it. (I'm not actually)

The past 28 hours have been a little rough. I believe too much oil from the ayi's wonderful cooking caught up with me. I won't go into detail, but the porcelain god and I have gotten closer. Jake is on it sprite and cracker duty...once again he's amazing. Gilbert should be concerned hehehehe.

Well that's all I have to report for now my bosom friend :)
(I'm pretty sure Anne Shirley would've be all over emoticons)

~Anne Shirley

Dear Marilla...

I am still wrapping my head around the idea of instant gratification here in Shanghai. ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING CAN BE DELIVERED TO YOUR FRONT DOOR. From sushi, cigs, McDonalds, or whatever you want even from the convenient store downstairs in your building. It can be done...crazy.

Anyway

I registered with the police and got my paperwork work for temp residency. Apparently they will send an officer to your place to make sure you really are dwelling at the residence. It seems a bit much but it should be fine.
Although I should be heavy job hunting, I'm finding that there is so much more to do. I want to put myself on a schedule so that I can be more productive. I'm waiting for this coma I'm in to pass. As I stood on top of yet another rooftop bar and looked at the insane skyline, I kept thinking "wake up". My bank account isn't dreaming though. Thats my reality check. Its really cheap being here, but when the balance is decreasing and with no income, it becomes a little worrisome. I'm seriously not stressin' about in.

I'm going to go pick up my new tailored suit next week, so that I will do some classy job interviewing. My tailored suit from the fabric market (a warehouse like place that you pick your material and show them a picture and bam new outfit) approx $50USD. Ridic!!!

I'm sure once I get a job, I'll be using the market for lots of homemade tops *if you know what I mean*

Thats all for now. Gilbert has things for us to do today.

Love,

Anne Shirley

No real adventures...

I'm not sure if its jet lag or what, but I keep waking up at 7am. It makes for long days.

...continued departure/arrival

After a crazy check in (having to check all my bags, laptop falling off the ticket counter as I desperately take out what I would need for 19+ hour flight from the hiking bag because it could not come with me on the plane...ugh)
I get on the plane and have the best flight EVER. It was super comfortable. If I wasn't sleeping, I was eating (they'd wake you up to hydrate you and feed you...I love Asiana Air!!!!). Sat next to a Korean husband and wife that were adorable. Got to Seoul and napped and chillax because it was 4AM...
Made a friend on the plane from Seoul to Shanghai, Jolene. She schooled me on getting pass customs and calmed me down a bit, because I was worried (completely unnecessary)

I get to Shanghai and start learning the neighborhood immediately. I've not encountered the cultural shock yet. Perhaps because the area that I'm living looks like Michigan Ave Mag Mile. A freaking flagship Apple Store, flagship Gap, H&M, Uniqlo, etc, etc. Its funny how western this city is...oh well whatever.

I priced and visited a few yoga studios and gyms. Decided and got a gym membership (its across the street and its pretty decent)Got a transportation card (can be used on buses, subway, taxis...so awesome!) and sim card for my phone. Jake, the roomy, has an ayi (like a housekeeper)She cooks really good foods that are vegetarian. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea that an "auntie" coming in to cook and clean for you is cheaper then eating out or doing it yourself...so crazy. (avg $2-$4USD a meal is flippin insane)

This all seems so boring as I write, but whatever.

The few job leads I had where super suspect. I've decided to give myself a few weeks then go hard into looking for a job. I need to get to know this place a lil before diving head first. Especially since I don't know the language (which is top priority now, learning mandarin)

I will feel more at ease once I get my visa switched over.
This weekend Eliz, Jake and myself took a lil trip to the countryside. Jiaxing was a bit of a cultural shock. Had Shanghai been like this, I sadly would not have stayed. Really dirty. We were shown a good time from Jakes friend AJ. Some KTV and good food and 10yr old whiskey. So much fun!!!

That's enough for today. I'm heading to the gym now to work off all the delicious food I've stuffed myself with.

Love,

Anne :)

am in China...

While I've been here almost a week, I've just gotten pass the damn China firewall. Apparently, blogspot was blocked too.Good grief. This did not hinder me from documenting the accounts of my departure/arrival...



Oct. 7th

It starts with the last minute attempt to do everything...I call it simply tying up the loose ends.
I didn't A) realize that the document shredder was not industrial strength, B) that I had so many things to shred and needed perhaps an industrial sized shredder.
After having a relaxed (nothing should have been relaxed about my last day in Chicago and leaving the country) day with Del – him making my last latte, target trip, and cleaning, Bajaj – DMK eating after the search for tapas failed and him giving me a very large and supposedly airline approved hiking bag - I started getting down to the nitty gritty.
Washing my last load of clothes and linens and FITTING EVERYTHING left into the luggage and hiking bag. Futile attempts so I decided that shredding the documents would proved more productive...Turns out no. Devin shows up to lend a much need hand and she miraculously got everything into the luggage...(my suspicions should have started at this point) I then jokingly mentioned that I wish I could just burn all the documents that I needed to shred and call it a day. Devin said seriously “you can”. Thus my last BBQ in Chicago began. Not ideal to burn papers or according to Brandon legal to grill papers (luckily he was there to dispose of the evidence)...you live you learn right. Devin took action and led the charge to burn my papers. She's amazing!!!! We both smelled like campfire. (Total Anne and Diana Barry moment)
I'd gone numb and tired of thinking at this point and ready for this 2 and half month world wind of stuff to do, to be done.
Brandon, Kim, Vikki show up at this point to gather me and my things...
I say bye to Del...the first person I met in Chicago and last person I'd want to leave. No tears, just laughs (how I prefer it)
The get a long gang (Devin, Kim, Brandon, Vikki) and I got to the Chicago Diner one last time. Very entertaining. I could not have asked for a better send off. We head to the airport while listening to Vikki's mixtape “Goodbye, Good Luck and Good Riddance”. I appreciated the fact it started off with “Ain't No Sunshine When She Gone”. Only Vikki can bring that level of cheese to any situation and I not get annoyed with it. A nervous panic starting creeping up the closer we got to the airport. I say my goodbyes to everyone in a most kept together fashion and there I am in line with all my luggage.

Then the story begins...

Guerilla packing done and 48hrs to go

Sooooo that just happened...Not sure how the hell a week just flew but it has. I'm getting so many positive vibes from friends and family. I can't thank them enough. 1 day of work left, yes I'm working to the very end because I will be unemployed and not sure when the next paycheck with roll around.(not worried at all)

Responsible Anne however did put in a change of address and made copies of important documents to be sent to parents in the event of emergencies. Organized meds and other fun stuff to be properly sent to me as needed.

Not to over simplify the situation, and minus the not having a job aspect of my move, this all seems right.

more to come...

Now see my sister enjoying Tuesday at the Golden Nugget, my mom being a comedian, and the boxes of my crap :)



Now in an Anne of Green Gables fashion, a little day dreaming...

I'd like to pretend that this quote is representative of my life at this moment.


"Usually, when people get to the end of a chapter, they close the book and go to sleep. I deliberately write a book so when the reader gets to the end of the chapter, he or she must turn one more page."
~Sidney Sheldon

Anne is out of control...7 days

So many people are helping me pack (i.e. making me get rid of things) and I have no desire to get rid of all my "prized" possessions. I've donated and sold so much and still, I HAVE TOO MUCH CRAP!!! Well I took a new approach to packing last night...drinking while doing it. Turns out that's not very productive. If Nichole had not joined me, I would have perhaps passed out from a few bottles of wine with clothes and pictures spread all over the place.

Thank you Nichole for being a voice of reason...

Backpack, job, shoes and camera are my only goals right now.
Keeping it simple...



"A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval." ~Mark Twain

With 14 days left

I realized that I had to get emotionally strong, in order to get physically ready to be mentally prepared for this leap...

In retrospect, it was never a question of "if" I go to Asia but a matter of "when". When has come and of course I feel completely unprepared and scared. I've decided it will be fine. I really do acclimate well to various situations.

I have my TEFL certificate, 7 work days, and 2 mind sets PACK & GO.

I really want to be ready for any and everything. I'm slowly understanding that that is impossible. Mistakes and mishaps are inevitable, expect the worst hope for the best type thing.

My decision to take the cheesy cliche "the world is your oyster..." and live my life like so makes me think I've gone crazy. Turns out I'm ok with crazy. I welcome it with open arms (^.^) *Note: must learn more absurd emoticons to become more hip in Asia

I've decided on WWAoGGDIC as the new title for various reasons:
A. Anne of Green Gables is amazing
B. please refer to A
C. Although she never went to China, I think I can speak on her behalf
as to what might have transpired and/or decisions she would've made.
D. Although Gilbert probably would have never allowed Anne to go on an adventure w/o him, he'd be supportive of "that crazy Anne" had she wanted to go to China.
The list goes on.

I've packed and unpacked several times. I think I will be more decisive about what I'm taking after my "planning to get rid of as much shit of mine as possible" party this weekend. (which has turned into a going away sort of shindig) Folks have started calling dibs on things, but little do they know I'm going swap meet style. FIRST COME FIRST SERVE FOLKS!!!!

Harsh Realities I've come to terms with 1. I don't need to take my rice cooker, 2. I don't need to take my WOK, 3. I can buy stuff there and I won't be living in a damn third world country for crying out loud!!!

I can't tell you how excited I am for my mom and sister to come see me off. Yes, yes, I know that you're all thinking "She's going to make them do all the work". Of course I'm going to TRY and do that, but I know better. But I'm seriously just looking forward to seeing them. (like teary stuff kind of excited)

I can't thank all the people that are supporting me enough for their help and encouragement. I now have more contacts in China than I had when I move to Chicago from Dallas. It would be a lie if I said I wasn't nervous, but this feels so right and I'm not too worried (which is insane)

I will try to make more annoying post to track my final days in Chicago.

cheeeeers!!!!!!!!!!



“The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.”
-St Augustine

Quietly Exiting

I really want to exit stage left (Chicago) as if I were never on the stage. (I laugh at myself for imaging I'm some sort of celebrity taking a curtain call...I am ridiculous) Its going to be so hard to leave. I seriously didn't realize how much I rooted myself here. Its amazing how significant each and every encounters become when you know they're numbered. *soak it up*

I keep jokingly saying that I'm about to jump off a bridge without a chord and am seriously praying that there is water or something below. That's exactly what it feels like. I'm not prepared enough, but who ever is. I've not posted in my blog because it makes the events that are about to happen more real than I could ever have imagined. *soak it up*

I'm dumbfounded at the support of people motivating and cheering me on. I'm doubting myself every step of the way, but am somehow keeping my determination.

Until I am willing to disclose all the details. I will leave you with "cold war" by Janelle Monae. This song is speaking to me RIGHT NOW...*soak it up*


So you think I'm alone
But being alone's the only way to be
When you step outside
You spend life fighting for your sanity

This is a cold war
you better know what you're fighting for
This is a cold war
Do you know what you're fighting for

If you wanna be free
Below the ground's the only place to be
Cause in this life
You spend time running from depravity

This is a cold War
You better know what you're fighting for

When wings of the weak can
Bring grace to the strong
Make all evil stumble
As it flies in the world

All the tribes come
And the mighty will crumble
We must brave this night
And have faith in love

I'm trying to find my peace
I was made to believe there's something wrong with me
And it hurt's my heart
Lord have mercy ain't it plain to see

This is a cold war
you better know what you're fighting for
This is a cold war
Do you know what you're fighting for


I can do this.

~soak it up is what i told people before i left dallas about 10 years ago. it wasn't for them, but a reminder for me to remember these times and treat the memories as a sponge...soak it up~

things to report...finally

Its been about a month since I've updated and I be damned if I was going to write a woe is me post. I don't have time for that. Enjoy the pictures. My new tat and some fun poses that I like doing...

I've started TEFL English teacher training. I have to be really strict with studying and not waste time going at a snails pace. I've given myself til September to have the 120 hours over and done with.

I've set up my 1st Piyo (Pilate's yoga mix)teaching class this coming Sunday. We'll see if anyone actually shows up. I mean its free and its at my apt. What more could they want?!?!?! Seriously!! I expect it to be the worst, but whatever. I'm looking to have fun and have my own playlist WOOT!!! WOOT!!!

I've got myself a yoga mentor I'm following like a puppy. Her name is Jill. I'm going to so many yoga classes and workshops that I've really lost my mind. I've decide that Vinyasa and Bikram are my favorite forms of yoga. I get so much out of them!!! On top of applying for English teaching jobs, I've started applying for scholarships through yoga ashrams and charity organizations overseas. I want to juggle all of these things and let the chips fall where they may.

No overthinking or overplanning anymore.

I'm in a good place and don't want to lose my momentum. I just have to continue to stay on track and focused. The lotus on my back is to remind me of my potential, my growth, and new beginnings. I seriously feel invincible...

I think Janelle Monae says it best...

"When you get elevated,
They love it or they hate it
You dance up on them haters
Keep getting funky on the scene
While they jumpin' round ya
They trying to take all your dreams
But you can't allow it...
See I'm not walkin' on it
Or tryin' to run around it
This ain't no acrobatics
You either follow or you lead, yeah
I'm talkin' bout you..."

You get the point, check out the song :)

Uber Pensive

Not much to report. I've been thinking of my Madea being in the early stages of dementia and how hard it must be for her right now. As I grasp on tightly to my sanity in this job, I'm reminded of her "Don't Quit" poem plaque that hung in her bathroom for so many years. I can't really quit my job, can't quit my drive and determination to move overseas, and I can't quit or give up this need to do great things with yoga for the rest of my life.

I can type the poem from memory even though I don't recall ever memorizing it. Maybe I spent too much time in her bathroom growing up. Who knows.

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

Losing steam with every rejection

The practicalities of moving look really impractical for me right now. I'm not sure if its the fact that so many people are headed to Asia due to the economy or they seriously don't want me. Today I got my 12th (yes friends 12th) rejection email. Correction 4 of the rejections were in snail letter form. So to be fair and more positive about it, only 8 emails of "we went with someone else". Sadly that's maybe 1% of what I've actually applied for. Thus is life.

This would also be the reason behind me not updating here. No news means not so great news in my world. I don't want to believe that its not my "season" to leave Chicago. But there is a limit to how much I can put up with being rejected. I'm at my wits end with my current job. Jumping out the window seems a lot more exciting then showing up for another meeting or staring at another spreadsheet. (its closer to disgruntled then suicidal so don't worry)

Alas, I've found solace in knowing I have yoga and now have embarked on a new journey (side journey for now anyway) Lately I've felt the need to do it more and more. I like how I feel during and after. I'm sure I would have cut someone had the thought of a nice 105 degree studio doing a half moon pose not put a smile on my face.
I'm thinking of teaching yoga now. Yoga certification takes 10+ months, which blows my move to Asia this year out of the water.*cringes from within*

Ideally, I would work at a yoga type place, learn the ropes and gradually move toward my teaching goal. While along the way collecting certifications for Piyo,Hiphop Hustle, Turbo Jam... and whatever else I can squeeze out of that damn Beachbody company. I could make money teaching which is another reason why Asia looks like a pie in the sky. Money...oh money(only reason why I've not quit my current job)I refuse to go from one crap-ass job to another. I'm aggressively looking into apprenceships and/or jobs in the spa/yoga/meditative envrionment. My sanity is on the line at this point.

Going to Asia under my terms doesn't look impossible, but more challenging than I expected. I'm not giving up yet. I've just added an addendum to the plan. My whitewash board has been cleared and its time to assess my situation and adjust the steps needed to meet my goals.

This could be the side path that I needed to go down to get to the point that I was supppose to be aiming for in the first place. All my doors and windows are open. I'm not excluding any possible opportunities for myself. I keep telling myself its going to be fine.

Til next time...



"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."

stepping stones..

I'm seriously just done with talking about moving. I need it to just happen (magically if possible) I'm pretty sure I'm getting rejected/ignored because of my pic that I'm sending with my resume....to be continued

On another note...

I wanted to ignore the fact that Del, my roommate, is not really believing/accepting/understanding of me leaving our great arrangement. Living happily with someone for almost 6 years brings bonds, comfort, and family-like feelings that are immeasurable. I will treasure this time of my life with Del. He was one of the 1st people I met and befriended in Chicago. He knew me before Bill (the ex) and has witnessed me transform into the awesome person I'm slowly becoming.
He's encouraging and lets me have my space on so many levels. I need to thank him.

I did a lot of thinking on my trip to Canada. No real soul search, but just a lot of "what ifs" and "how many contingency plans do I really need" type thoughts. I've decided to take a journey into a far more unfamiliar world then just moving 1400 miles across country, which I did when I moved from Dallas. I have no doubt that I can do it, but I'm really scared.

Luckily I'm not career focused, takes a lot of pressure off of my plans. My ultimate goal in life is to just write, volunteer, work part time somewhere that doesn't involve being a slave to spreadsheets.

Speaking of writing...I was turned down by 2 more publishers. Its fine though. I think I need to have more confidence in my work and give off the "I AM A WRITER" aura. I really can't take myself serious so why the hell should I expect anyone else to. If I were serious I think I would just self publish. I've got things to say (I roll my eyes at myself for how funny this sounds)
Even if people don't agree, its time I put it out there.

Hiatus Over, Listening to the body more...

Lets see...

I'm trying to wrap my head around Visas, like which ones I need to get for touring vs working in China and S.Korea.
My searches have been narrowed to coastal China, Seoul/Busan /Incheon S. Korea.
I figured, with the advice of Jake, that the cultural shock won't be too much if I focus on cities that are known for being expat friendly and I think I could acclimated well in.

So, my wrist has healed and I'm gradually trying to get back into working out on my regular schedule. I cut back quite a bit, understandably being broken and all. I was pretty sure I didn't lose or gain. I'm not eating and white flour, sugar, or processed foods, dairy, or meat.I figured that there wasn't too much damage made by me not working out excessively.

A coworker commented on how "thin" I looked and I didn't think much of it. Someone else said something and I was for sure that they were crazy. So I went and got measured...

I lost 5 freaking inches and 8lbs! The trainer at the gym attributed this to my metabolism "getting up there". This made me happy and also explained why NONE OF MY BRAS ARE FITTING!!!

Yes friends! I'm a 38DD HOLLA (formerly 42DD)!!!!! I seriously thought something was wrong with me and my clothes and bras, but my annoying boobs are going down. They're still too big, but its progress.

I'm heading to Toronto this weekend. I can't explain how excited I am to get away.
Right on schedule with my 31st bday. I need to do some thinking and mind clearing while I'm away.

Thats all she wrote...for now.

~Integration and Transitioning~

I will treat you all to some pics of me doing strange things...



So I've decided to start saying "when I move" instead of "hopefully" or "thinking". This is going to happen.

I'm looking for recruiters (agents and agencies that assist with jobs in foreign lands) and using all my friends to help as well. The lead I had before wants a lot more money than I'm willing to pay. I know I can do this without have to got bankrupt in the process.

It warms my heart to know that so many of my friends have happily rallied up for me. Your help is immeasurealbe and priceless. Leen, Dana, Lando, Jake and everyone in between. I'm so grateful to have the good sense to meet good people and make them my friends. I'm rusty at networking, but its not going to stop or diminish my resolve here.

I will keep you updated on the progress of this. I need to get a better pic of myself to send off with my resume. Maybe pictures that look like mug shots are not really ideal for job applications.

Health is good. I'm integrating the no meat, no dairy, no oils, no processed foods into a more doable and sustainable lifestyle choice. I've got the energy. That natural crack high...gotta love it. My yoga has taken on a life of its own. I've always been flexible, but I'm able to do poses that I've never thought of trying before. This is crazy, but I'm amazing myself with my "feats of strength". (Which is what I call ALL the things I do no matter how great or small. If I don't think highly of myself can't expect anyone else to, right?)

It seems my confidence is not lacking, nor do I hide how awesome I am. hahahahhahaha

Stay tuned for more stuff and things...

A rant...my declaration

*Sorry for the extreme language

Fuck winter for making me feel like shit. I stopped going to hot yoga as often as I was, my workouts have suffered these past few weeks, and I'm just feeling crappy in general. I decided today...no more. I'm tired, sore, and bruised from snowboarding this weekend. I did not let this stop me from going to the gym. I've had it with this funk I'm in.

Dear winter,
I will not stay in and become a vegetable, bump on a log, or any other metaphorical term for hibernating and being lazy.
I will stand in your cold AND I WILL complain.
I will walk in the snow filled sidewalks, because you decided several feet of fluffy goodness is cute.
I will happily don fun hats to keep my head warm when your subzero temperatures get out of hand.
I will wear as many scarves as possible when you're being pissy and insisting on blowing snow and wintry mixes at me.
You will not last much longer, so I'm going to put up with you.

Hear this winter...you will not dictate my feelings anymore.

Sincerely,

Resident of Chicago that just declared war on you


On an up note, I've started back on the E2 diet. I'm not really "on" it. I should stop saying that. I am doing the E2. I want to sustain eating no dairy, no meat, no oils, no processed foods for more than the original 28 days.
5 days on (during the work week) and 2 days (the weekend)not at strict. I might use olive oil or eat fish on the weekends. I'm not going to think too hard about it. I want eating like this to be less of a chore and more of a habit.

Thats all for now.

I got some air and chai and chilled...

I believe my wonder lust is getting the best of me. Being here (in this city, in this job, in this state of mine, etc, etc) is making me so restless and I'm constantly thinking that every move I make, needs to be towards my ultimate goal. Perhaps to the point I think I'm actively sabotaging my own health. I somehow got the idea that I should take excessive vitamins and minerals when I came off the detox in order to get ahead of the game (building immune system up, getting a cold or what not)...that turned out to be a very bad idea.

My, now toxic, blood levels will be normal in a few weeks.

Eggs, cheese, meats, oil hate me now and I can't seem to get use to them, STILL! I'm thinking this might be a good thing considering what the stuff does to your body.

So March 1st, I'm looking forward to permanently eating the plant-based diet.(permanently eating like I did with the 29 day detox I did in January) I'm aiming at 5 days (during the week on) and 2 days (the weekends off). I won't be as strict as before this time around. Hopefully I'll have some more people who want to take on the challenge with me. Lots of people seem to be interested in my "feasts o' strength" hahahaha.

I'm a walking infomerical for this thing!!! Engine2 is FOR YOU!!!!
It still weirds me out that I feel the NEED to eat this way, just so that I can get that natural high again...I do miss it.



More details to follow later...

Discovering and Recovering

I'm trying very hard to get back on the normal food wagon...I'm failing miserably.
So I'm thinking that this diet/detox was great overall, but I failed to have a proper exit strategy.
I underestimated what NOT having certain foods in my body meant after 28 days. Instead of slowly introducing food, I went head first like an idiot and ate things my body immediately rejected. So I am adjusting right now. I will probably eat meat and diary a few times a month. I liked having that energy. Back to keeping it simple.

We had a potluck at work today. I had a plate with 3 tablespoons of things on it that I couldn't finish. It was sad, there were so much good munchies.

Maybe removing oils, dairy, meat, processed foods completely is the lifestyle change I need...

Still figuring it out.

After 28 days

Its done. I'm finished.

Lessons learned from this:

-I can go without meat, dairy, oils, processed foods period

-This is not JUST a detox/diet. Its a lifestyle change that works wonders.

-Cooking properly for yourself has so many rewards.

-To my amazement I have will power, not as much as I would like, but I have it.

-Feeling my best should be top priority. All the time

-Disciplining yourself can change your outlook on life

-Having people around that are just as excited about what you're doing , if not more, keeps you motivated and definitely fuels you.

-I have and should be proud of my accomplishments...


I will probably keep this diet to some extent. Maybe adding oil and cheese every
now and again. From now on I'll be aware of my eating, without being excessively strict. I like having the energy and feeling good. Maintaining is whats important now.

Final Stretch...

I seriously can't wait to eat tater tots. I know people are sick of me talking about and I don't care ;-P

2 days now!

Current Status: I feel incredible! I could run a marathon literally if I wanted to right now. (I have no desire to do such a thing, but you get the point)
I find it really funny that this diet/detox was mostly common sense. Of course you will feel like crap and heavy if you eat lots of dairy. Of course removing unnatural things from your diet will give you the energy that you want and need.

I'm sleeping better (when I'm not fighting sleep to stay up). I am seriously getting up before my alarm. I do some stretching and meditating and I'm off.
I am now a full believer in cooking for yourself.
By controlling what you're putting into your body, you minimize the toxin and bad crap that you come in contact with. This all sounds cheesy and "ummm yeah that's a given", but its so true.

When I started down this path a little over a year ago, I had no real plans to do diets or drastically change myself. I just wanted to feel better mentally, physically, and emotionally. I am genuinely happy with my progress. This sounds really crazy but I'm really liking the person that I'm slowly becoming.

-dfo

Not Quite a Failure...Day 18

So this weekend was definitely a test. I'm not too disappointed in myself, but I did have a shot of jack, a slice o' bacon, a bran muffin that I'm pretty sure had eggs, and a sandwich that was on non 100% whole wheat bread with some cheese.

What I lost in discipline, I gained in perspective. I feel like it was important for me to cheat a little. When I get to the end of this hilarious process I won't pig out to the point of being sick. I am thankful for Eliz making me some of my favorite oatmeal with apples/cinnamon sticks within my parameters of the detox AND coming up with a brown rice porridge that I think I can eat everyday because its soooo good.

I still have my energy and am ready to get strict again this week. I'm going to check out Xport fitness with the FREE trial...I love free things.

I'm going to set up (meaning email like crazy) some phone interviews with some home stay families that are looking to host crazy Americans in Seoul and Tokyo. Wish me luck!

I am slowly checking off things on my whitewash board. My action plan steps are taking longer than I'd like, but slow motion is better than no motion.
I also think I'm being more proactive and reasonable about the task at hand.

That's all for now...

-D

Power'd Up!

I can't articulate very well how I feel, but Ms. Aguilera sort of explains it here...
(imagine me punching the air or something)

...'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter...

Not really sure whom I'm thanking, but the energy from this song seemed most appropriate for expressing how great I feel.

Its day 13!! I got up this morning, excuse me, popped out of bed w/o an alarm at 5am.
Did Jillian Micheals 30 day Shed DVD, ate some fruit, got ready for work.

I HAVE NEVER HAD THIS MUCH ENERGY IN THE AM... IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

Progress thus far with detox/diet...

I've lost 6lbs, found the so called "energy" on day 12, have gained a new respect for my friends and how/why they put up with me and my absurdness. (i.e. delicious special dinners being cooked for me in the name of my diet)

I've surprisingly not gotten sick of the food yet. Mainly because there are so many options and alternatives. People don't realize the combinations of things that really work well together. I'm down to drinking half a cup of coffee and lots of herbal teas. HUGE FEAT OF STRENGTH!

My challenge will be this weekend since I'm going out of town. I'd like to call it "DETOX: HITS THE ROAD". I must convince Eliz and Nat Cat that veggies are our friends...It won't be too hard. Eliz likes to brag about her hummus (which she should) and random healthy creative meals she puts together.
No drinking still...I can do this asa meshi mae (piece of cake)!

I can't thank the folks enough that are encouraging me on this hilarious, yet rewarding (I swear I'm not being sarcastic) venture I've decided to take on. I'm terribly spoiled by my friends and loved ones. I'm always being humored in some way or fashion.

So thank you, thank you, thank you!


I'm not one to promote diets and crap, and I won't push this either.
Like they (who ever the hell they are) say "I can show you better, then I can tell ya"

Watch me!


-Dfo

*please enjoy the ridiculous pic

Day 6...is rough

I'm pretty sure that the weather is making me feel miserable and not this detox thing. No complaining now, because I usually have a migraine at this point.I'm not a fan of being crabby, but I definitely was today. I don't care what anyone says, kicking coffee has to be along the lines of quitting crack. I'm drinking it once a day either straight or with ricemilk when I do drink it. I drank lots of tea today though. I do enjoy the fact there is an office tea time since I make large pots throughout the day. Someone mentioned crumpets with the tea. I laughed and said "If I can figure how to make it on this detox, most certainly". Offices are dangerous breeding ground for absurdness.

I don't have much of an appetite, but I am eating. I've strangely lost 3 lbs. Not sure if that's the 2 hour workout sessions or this "clean" eating. Its only been 6 days.My next order of fruits and veggies will have lots of leafy greens in it. I'm looking for to getting my cooking mojo back. I've quickly grown accustom to prepackaged meals and snacks. Thinking creatively and ahead.

22 days to go. I think I will really want either eggs or string cheese by the 10th or 15th day. I know I could use a stiff drink after work, my goodness they drive me crazy.

On the moving front...

I spoke with Lando today, somehow caught him in between Kardashian takes or something. He's doing some networking for me. A few maybes in Seoul for job leads, and a few in the Korea countryside. I guess I'm willing to be in the countryside for a little while just to get my feet wet. Not shutting any doors or being close minded about any options.

That's all for now.

As for the pics...bottom one is from 2007 with Raquel, me by myself in the green is September 2009, and the on far left is Vikki and I in November 2009. I see a small
difference, but not much. I look more moisturized if anything hahahhaha.

later

Day 1...

I'm not sure how I feel about the look of this blog, but its a work in progress.
It keeps me coming back to "fix it" and post, so I guess that's what I wanted.

My first day of the Engine2 "Diet" (I will call it a cleanse from this point on) seemed harmless. I find that when I have to write down what I eat, its easier not to eat hahahahaha. Completely absurd and totally misses the point of eating right, I know. I am sore from 90 min boot camp that I've found and insist on punishing myself with. The real pain comes tomorrow...Hot Yoga save me!

Ok thats all I got for now. I will work on being more insightful next post.

Please enjoy the random photo I don't recall taking NYE...

Dfo