Losing steam with every rejection

The practicalities of moving look really impractical for me right now. I'm not sure if its the fact that so many people are headed to Asia due to the economy or they seriously don't want me. Today I got my 12th (yes friends 12th) rejection email. Correction 4 of the rejections were in snail letter form. So to be fair and more positive about it, only 8 emails of "we went with someone else". Sadly that's maybe 1% of what I've actually applied for. Thus is life.

This would also be the reason behind me not updating here. No news means not so great news in my world. I don't want to believe that its not my "season" to leave Chicago. But there is a limit to how much I can put up with being rejected. I'm at my wits end with my current job. Jumping out the window seems a lot more exciting then showing up for another meeting or staring at another spreadsheet. (its closer to disgruntled then suicidal so don't worry)

Alas, I've found solace in knowing I have yoga and now have embarked on a new journey (side journey for now anyway) Lately I've felt the need to do it more and more. I like how I feel during and after. I'm sure I would have cut someone had the thought of a nice 105 degree studio doing a half moon pose not put a smile on my face.
I'm thinking of teaching yoga now. Yoga certification takes 10+ months, which blows my move to Asia this year out of the water.*cringes from within*

Ideally, I would work at a yoga type place, learn the ropes and gradually move toward my teaching goal. While along the way collecting certifications for Piyo,Hiphop Hustle, Turbo Jam... and whatever else I can squeeze out of that damn Beachbody company. I could make money teaching which is another reason why Asia looks like a pie in the sky. Money...oh money(only reason why I've not quit my current job)I refuse to go from one crap-ass job to another. I'm aggressively looking into apprenceships and/or jobs in the spa/yoga/meditative envrionment. My sanity is on the line at this point.

Going to Asia under my terms doesn't look impossible, but more challenging than I expected. I'm not giving up yet. I've just added an addendum to the plan. My whitewash board has been cleared and its time to assess my situation and adjust the steps needed to meet my goals.

This could be the side path that I needed to go down to get to the point that I was supppose to be aiming for in the first place. All my doors and windows are open. I'm not excluding any possible opportunities for myself. I keep telling myself its going to be fine.

Til next time...



"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."

stepping stones..

I'm seriously just done with talking about moving. I need it to just happen (magically if possible) I'm pretty sure I'm getting rejected/ignored because of my pic that I'm sending with my resume....to be continued

On another note...

I wanted to ignore the fact that Del, my roommate, is not really believing/accepting/understanding of me leaving our great arrangement. Living happily with someone for almost 6 years brings bonds, comfort, and family-like feelings that are immeasurable. I will treasure this time of my life with Del. He was one of the 1st people I met and befriended in Chicago. He knew me before Bill (the ex) and has witnessed me transform into the awesome person I'm slowly becoming.
He's encouraging and lets me have my space on so many levels. I need to thank him.

I did a lot of thinking on my trip to Canada. No real soul search, but just a lot of "what ifs" and "how many contingency plans do I really need" type thoughts. I've decided to take a journey into a far more unfamiliar world then just moving 1400 miles across country, which I did when I moved from Dallas. I have no doubt that I can do it, but I'm really scared.

Luckily I'm not career focused, takes a lot of pressure off of my plans. My ultimate goal in life is to just write, volunteer, work part time somewhere that doesn't involve being a slave to spreadsheets.

Speaking of writing...I was turned down by 2 more publishers. Its fine though. I think I need to have more confidence in my work and give off the "I AM A WRITER" aura. I really can't take myself serious so why the hell should I expect anyone else to. If I were serious I think I would just self publish. I've got things to say (I roll my eyes at myself for how funny this sounds)
Even if people don't agree, its time I put it out there.