Never thought in this lifetime

I would ever have the conversations and encounters I've had.


For example, Jo told me a few days ago "I'm not dating you for your passport. I don't need or want to go to America." I would give you context of this, but there is none. Out of the blue he says this as if he just remembered and I needed to know immediately. Me confused, looked at him and I said "Good, no one invited you. So no worries". It occurs to me later that Western women could have the same issue as the men here. So its commonly known that men are often used (some are ok with it) for their passports. I never thought for a second that I would be considered a high commodity. Some Chinese friends tell me to be careful all the time about who I meet. I now see that they are genuinely worried about me being swindled into marrying someone and BOOM! they're American. The idea of it is just funny to me. I dare someone to try to "use" me for my damn passport.

I never thought in my lifetime would I have to explain to someone how and why I'm not rich. Why I'm Black and not African and/or do I sell drugs. This falls under cultural shock I believe. This has become a huge motivator for me to learn Chinese. I really need to explain some shit to people properly. I was laughing at these encounters at first, but I'm seeing that people just don't know. How would they? I'm not sure how to tell someone that yes I'm American and yes I've made more money in a year than some of you will probably make in a lifetime, but no I'm not rich. Its not easy to understand this.

A very interesting exchange I often have with some Chinese people I work with is when they ask me if something is considered rude. I will tell them "yes, where I'm from thats extremely impolite and/or rude". They get honestly upset because I've not told them before hand. I tell them that there is no way I can tell a billion of you people(yes I say you people, because this is how you explain things here) that sharing other peoples salary information, eating while talking, pushing, telling someone they've gained weigh, etc, etc is not how we roll in the US. I tell them that they were doing this stuff before I got here and will keep doing it. No point in me trying to change it. The amazing counter response I get time and time again..."We want to do it just like Americans". I then realize that its not about manners but how one "should" act when imitating someone else. I've met some Chinese people that can rival my American-ness, so they think (the idea of brand names and celebrity news = knowing all about America)I can't remind them enough that whats on TV and the movies isn't how ALL OF AMERICA is. I ask them if they've heard of a little thing called public radio...I get silence (I'm an asshole and I know it)