Dec 8, 2015

Damn learning curves....


So I went to Laos (please see picture above if you do not know where that is in reference to Thailand) I didn't take lots of pictures, because I rarely do. The Thai school (studying Thai) that's taking care of my visa sent me on what I thought would be a simple exit, apply, stamp, return mission. Turns out it was everything and then some...

It started in the parking lot of a large grocery store. About 30 people needed to cross the border for varying reasons (visa run, extending visa, visiting family, going on job interview, etc etc). I was told I would be put in a group van 637. From the outside it looked like a nice, new, normal 9 seated passenger van, but when you stepped in it looked liked something out of Vegas sideshow. Mirrors and eccentric gold and diamond-esque interior. I felt a stripper pole would surface at some point. This should've been a sign. I started meeting the misfits I would soon be connected with for the next 3 days. It was brought to my attention that this was a regular event for some (visas are complicated EVERYWHERE) so many knew each or had similar experiences with some of the same riders. I learned that there's a Black guy that loves to play guitar on the trip, there's the hippies that prove the ehh umm smoking "goods", there the cool guys that have been doing these too long and will probably get kicked out of Thailand soon (sources told me). 

My van consisted of 4 models from all over eastern Europe, a Romanian James Bond, a French chef, a quiet family guy face timing his daughter most of the time, a conspiracy theorist American that was convinced the earth is flat and U.S. didn't launch anything in space, and a few other low key characters that were basically the audience for the show on wheels. Then there was me. It was my first time going on one of these adventure VIP van rides. The head agent in charge of assigning the groups, felt it necessary to tell everyone on van 637 I was new. I must admit these guys looked like the practical joker types that perhaps some hazing would go down. Instead, they all smiled and started regaling me with all the tales of their first time experiences as if they are war veterans sharing stories. I was assured that it would be fun and or very interesting by the end of the trip. They were very much right about it being interesting, for sure.

The first few hours of the 8.5 hours were filled with the conspiracy theorist giving us a run down of how the earth is most definitely flat and that he could prove it based on things he's found on the internets. I was a little taken back because NO ONE was challenging him or questioning his thought process. We make our first pit stop and break and he is still talking. At this point I've made eye contact with a few people and one of them whispers to me "oh we know he's crazy, but he seems to want to talk. so we just let him". I'm thinking, "oh thanks for letting me in one the charade guys". Mr. Talkative falls asleep and people start talking about their lives and how they all ended up in Thailand. Leave it to a road trip to find bonds with strangers. Its early morning before we get to the Lao/Thailand border which we have to cross on foot. So many vans and touring groups all parked at the border. I got this refugee feeling (or what I can only imagine its like) watching people gather at the gate (we could not drive our van across the boarder because it was Thai registered vehicle). Our driver was very protective of us. I forgot to wear my badge and he kept reminding me.."you don't have this you will get kidnapped". Silly scare tactics I guess he uses to get people to listen...it worked. Gates open and we all rush to line up at the departure counter to line up and wait. It takes over an hour. Once I was through, I need to board a much larger bus that transports any and all people leaving Thailand to the entry point to Laos. We waited over an hour for our passports to get Laos visas. I later found out that our agency did not "grease the wheels" (pay a bribe) so we had to queue in line. We were all tired and delusional at this point and I was receiving constant reassures that "you will get my passport back". Call me paranoid, whatever. The agency then loaded people on vans, now in Laos to go to the Thai embassy to apply for whichever visa you needed. Once at the Thai embassy we all agreed to pay the bribe to bypass the line (we were all over the process at this point) for dropping off our passports so we could all just go to the hotel. Our driver, in different shiny Laos van, was ready and beckoning our, now very tight knit, group to take us to the hotel. 

There was food, a pool, a bar, and individual rooms for each of us. I showered and slept. I woke up 4 hours later sat by the pool and waited for dinner. By this time the driver came to me to return my wallet because I left it in the Thai van. He thought I was going to lose it again so he waited to give it to me. I've never felt so absent minded. I completely agreed with his decisions. Laos looked like Miami 40 years ago or pictures you see of Cuba today. I went out with a few from our group to what the "nightlife" in Laos was about...No much unfortunately. We did more talking and I realized that I would have never met any of these people in any other circumstance other than this point in time. The French chef and a Romanian  guy (I am convinced was a spy or something undercover) seem to be the real caretakers of the group. Really helpful to me, anyway. If I wasn't moving fast enough at any point they took my bags and they wanted to know where I was from the first stop. When they said they would lookout, they were serious.The following day we all lounged around the hotel desperately looking for wifi, swimming, grazing the nonstop buffet that seemed to be available the second we walked in . The food was decent too. Later afternoon, we checkout and everyone gathered to do shopping in the duty free zone while we waited for the agency to collect our passports. My bodyguards seemed concerned that I wasn't shopping and I told them I don't need anything. 007 bought me a Lao popular sub sandwich that had noodles and chicken and tofu. It was so good. French chef bought me flowers. Weird scary looking lotus flowers. I awkwardly accepted and thought "what the hell am I suppose to do with these?" It didn't occur to me until later that we had talked about cooking and spices the day before and  that he was sharing a local cooking flavor by giving me lotus. I just thought he was a weird French dude. C'est la vie. hahaha

We get our passports and now have to do everything in reverse with border crossing and immigration stamping. Going back was a lot more entertaining. While in line, this time, I was pulled aside 2 times by the immigration agents asking to see my passport. They just glanced at it and without opening it to look, motioned for me to return to the line. By the time the 3 agent came around to ask to see my passport, I sensed something was wrong. I must has looked so confused and lost because the Filipino behind me and the Chinese lady in front of me, both turned a said "they think you're African". They then explained to me they are stricter with all Africans passport holders because they have extra visa requirements. Filipino guy said "she don't even look African". Chinese lady says "she doesn't look American either". I say to both of them "I can hear you". Just as I say this another agent (why do they have so many different agents at this tiny border....God only knows) comes over. I'm about to go through the "routine" of passport showing when the Filipino guys says that I'm American in English and the Chinese lady says in Thai that I'm American also. The agent quickly walks away. I tell them thank you, and tell them its ok that I show them my passport. Its not a problem. Chinese lady said "they need to share the information with their colleagues. attention attention only black lady standing in line is American. easy". I told her "I see your point". I was the only Black person there and its not like there was a shift change...I finally made it through and was stamped officially back in Thailand.

The ride back seemed to take longer. We stopped more time to stretch our legs and give smoke breaks to the smokers but it was pleasant. It felt like a quirky family after only a day. Some of us exchanged contact info. Chef invited everyone to his restaurant and I felt a little sad it was over. I got home at 2 am. The driver dropped everyone off at their homes, which was the icing on this weird cake for me. I was so tired. Now back to the grind of desperately trying to learn Thai.


That's that!




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