The weight of realizing my extremely small existence here in PRC seems to be affecting my decisions and clouding my perspective. I am annoyed with myself for sounding melodramatic and whiny about not being able to go forward or move in any direction. I have a long list of "GREAT ideas that would prove amazing, IF someone gave me a chance to prove it"...they seem useless right now. I'm not so naive and idealistic that believing who you know isn't the key to success. But in China, who you know is the ONLY way to get anything done.
Although Tiger mom would have been a great contact for business, I would rather call INTERPOL on her ass and have to go into witness protection (I’m sure her and her shady crew of millionaire misfits would be after me), before I would ask her for help.*
*life lesson: there are some bridges that you MUST burn down
Joe tells that doing business and being successful in China won't be easy for me because I'm 'all or nothing' and 'tell it like it is' (apparently these are not good characteristics if you want to be taken serious). He explains to me that in China 1 + 2 does not equal 3. Rational, sensible, logical thinking have to be removed before the business equations can be solved sometimes. Had I not been here for as long as I have (it does not take long to see how hilarious things are), I would have told him "Puhleeeze" Considering the things I've witnessed and been first hand apart of...nothing is impossible. Everything moves slow, rules change daily, brand name (anything) rules.
As much as I would like to be an “Agent of Change”, its complicated. I'm not even a fish in the ocean, I'm a micro-organism at the bottom of the sea. Common sense can't be taken for granted, whats right isn't right and things are done differently and as inefficient as possible. Can I really do business in such a place? Would I really want to try and convince ANYONE here that their quality of life could be improved. I really need to consider these things.
I sit in cafes listening to dreamy foreigners and their ideas of what they want/will do in Asia and how they CAN and WILL change things (overly optimistic and insensitive jerks if you ask me). I read forums about people taking their 'journey' and finding themselves here. I'm guessing many of them didn't take the Shanghai route. Maybe that makes my 'trip' a little unique (I'd like to think I'm somewhat special...its really all in my head) My adventure is taking shape by way of “trying to live in a developed and growing” China instead of 'an ancient and traditional country'. I've been thinking that trying to find where I fit in could be the source of my problems. I should probably turn my attention and focus to finding how China might “fit” into MY plans.
I like this idea a lot more.
No comments:
Post a Comment